My re-start story...yes, I ramble

[CushieButterfield]

I have been heavy all my life. I was 311 as a freshman in high school. Struggled with many many diets. Tried fen/phen with no lingering effects (thank God). Last year about this time I decided when I topped out at 390 that something needed to be done for the sake of myself and my son.

So I went to the library and began reading different low carb books. I don't even rememebr why I chose low carb, probably because nothing else seemed to work, I couldn't stick with the low fat or the restricted calories...so I thought "well, why not". I read the book I chose over and over. I didn't want to start until I was done breastfeeding so I waited until August and by then had the knowledge I needed to start the low carb program. Luckily I found this site soon after I started and it helped me through the first few weeks and corrected some misconceptions that I still held even after reading the Curves book, soon after starting I switched to Atkins (after again reading that book).

I was able to maintain a steadily loss for months, I was averaging 3 pounds a week. I was on track to reach my first huge goal...100 pounds lost by Memorial Day. Then came January. I can't call it a stall...it was a slow down. But I had my mind wrapped so tightly around losing 100 pounds by Memorial Day that I was incredibly bummed, I was still losing inches but the number stayed the same. All of January I lost 2 pounds but then I began losing in February again and I thought all was right. I had lost 70 pounds in six months, it was AWESOME.

March was hard, after dealing with months of stress it finally came to a head and I gacve in to several days of REALLY bad eating. I'd go back on plan for a couple days then fall back off. This went on for some time. A month passed, then two, finally I just let go and decided that the day would come that I felt ready to re-commit. Not long after I had my first really good day back on low carb, seems I had been stressing myself about the re-start as well.

When I let all the stress go and focused on eating well an amazing thing happened, I made it through the first day, and the second and shockingly the third...I had not made it through the third completely clean in a long time. When I got through an entire week I was jumping for joy. I knew that I was well on my way to stay on track this time. It's now been 16 days of eating right on plan and my low carb way of life has begun anew. I'm able to resist all the candy that fills our office as well as the pretzels, the animal crackers, the chips...our office is full of food. I was lucky, the two and a half months I was off plan I only gained roughly 10 pounds back, yes it may seem like a lot but I KNOW it coul have been worse. I know a big part was water weight and a few "real" pounds. Those pounds are off and I am ready to work on the rest.

I still have weight goals but I am not going to let them rule me. If I don't make my 4th of July goal it won't be because I was "bad" but because my body decided "nope, don't want to lose that fast right now". As long as I am sticking with the low carb way of eating I am making a daily goal.

I just wanted to post this for some of you that may be struggling with a restart. I kept checking in throughout my days off plan. It was hard to admit that I was not staying the course so some days I did avoid writing when I should have been. You can find your way back if you have let yourself get off track. Sooner is better than later but if your like me you may need to let go of other issues first. Some of us hold onto the stress as an excuse, some of us can't deal with it at all and shut down, while others barrel through it and say "bring it on". I am definitely not one of the last people.

With the help of my LCE friends, I know I can make this journey a successful one. I won't let myself go as before and I will keep checking in as often as I need for a boost.

If you made it through this whole post I applaud you...boy can I ramble. But maybe by writing this I can encourage someone not to give up even if you have been away from LC for a time.

And let me say a great big THANK YOU to everyone here for helping me and everyone else with the day to day struggles of healthy eating.

[BabyCups]

Cushie 70 pounds WOW!!! you will lose that 10 pound gain in no time!! I can attest after falling off for about a year it is hard to get back on but you did it be proud of yourself for that and for your great success so far!!!

[Maxibee]

Thanks for writing this, Noel. It is the kick in the pants I've needed. I've used this job stress as an excuse, but no more. I am determined to make the 4th of July challenge goal.

[biddy22]

Oh, Noel, thanks so much for that! It really is good to hear others' stories.

We can do this!

[heykim]

*WILD CHEERING*... WELL SAID NOEL!! and thanks for that post... i hope you copied it to your journal... so that it doesnt get lost in the shuffle...

its a keeper! ;-)

[Rob]

Thanks Noel!

[huskersfan869]

Thanks for sharing! I know how hard it is to restart...am still fighting with it myself...I know I need to get back to strict...just no motivation to really get back to it...I do like you 5 or 6 days then a bad one then 5 or 6 more good ones.

[cheftrina]

Noel, I'm sure there are many of us here who can see ourselves in your story. I want to thank you for writing it, and sharing with us. I know you said just what I needed to hear.

[CushieButterfield]

Thanks guys. I didn't realize just how long this thread was until I posted it. But I needed to write it for myself.

BabyCups, I actually now have lost that 10 pounds plus as of this morning 2 more! I'm much happier being back on low carb. And not just because I am losing but because of how I FEEL.

Kim, I'm taking your suggestion and copying this to my journal so I know where to find it in the future.

[Goddess]

noel- thank you for sharing your thoughts. i hope you realize how wonderfully successful you HAVE been and ARE right now. sometimes those lose-by-date goals help us keep focused, but if they don't, then FORGET them! the point is, you've already improved your health TREMENDOUSLY, made huge strides in your knowledge and attitude, and you are doing just exactly what you need to be doing right now. and the times when you weren't losing? you were LEARNING. which is just as important.

thanks for sharing your story.

[texanflowr]

Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching story and restart with us. You have been an inspiration to this board in more ways than you know. Believe me, I know the struggles of being a single parent and the rest of the world caving in on you..... You just can't lose sight of your goals, which I see you have always had in place, albeit sometimes in the distance for all of us. Congratulations on your "new" weight loss.... Everyone here is so supportive, how can we NOT suceed???

[Ginni]

Yes.....thank you for your story....it does my heart so much good every time I hear of successes along he way...*sigh*....

Keep hanging in there....I'm looking forward to reporting some success in awhile myself....but I'm not in any big hurry....when I notice that something is "missing" I'll jump on the scale and say OMG some of it is gone!

Congratulaltions on the 70 lbs. THAT'S WONDERFUL!

Ginni

[crystalrp]

Thanks so much for sharing, Noel. You have been a true inspiration since you first joined this website. We are all so proud of you and so happy to be able to call you a friend. Best of luck on your low carb journey.