Feeling out of place...and a bit mad

[Rhalvahn]

I hit my gym tonight... the 4 elliptical machines were taken, so I climbed on a bike. A few minutes later, a woman sat down next to me, she's overweight - just like me. We were both waiting for the elliptical machines...we both wedged our butts into the bikes..and started pedaling. She told me her husband hadn't wanted to come (he was on the treadmill) because he felt so out of place...he's a big guy...not more than 280 or so probably on a big frame...but she said he didn't want to come.

I was instantly t'd off on his behalf...and have never met him before. I know when I go to the gym...sometimes...I feel like the token fat chick in their...with the rest of the healthy bodies...

Sometimes I wonder if gyms do it on purpose.. they'll sell a membership to an overweght person thinking they won't use it because they feel uncomfortable... and then embarrassed about not going so they just pay it. I've done it... I know others who have...and it annoyes me to no end.

So I told her that I was going to be going there...and my husband (also a big guy) and that we'd have to just be the token fat people in the gym, but not to let them run her (or him) off.

[Rhalvahn]

I did my 24 minute BFL High Intensity Interval Training on the Elliptical - walked out glowing and sweating horribly so... ;-)

[Maxibee]

We used to meet at Gold's Gym for our "Dr.Phil" meetings when we were going through "The Ultimate Weight Solution" book.
I think your experience is precisely why we could not get more people to come to the meetings and why some people didn't participate. We ALL felt uncomfortable. Most people there, except for a really sweet trainer, looked at us like we were nuts: we would all walk back to the now empty aerobics room and have our meetings there.

Now, we meet at Starbucks and we all feel more comfortable.

Soon, you'll be one of those really fit, trim people.....with a way better attitude than they have!

[dad2bike]

Have you checked to see if your gym is a chain. Maybe just checking out a different location would work to help you out. I'm with 24 Hr Fitness. They have like 8 gyms throughout Las Vegas. The demographics of the area determine the clientell (sp?). I've seen my favorite location go thru quite an evolution. Pretty much all the "Jocks" & "jockettes" have moved on to the more snooty gyms. I would guess there is really only about 20% that I see there that are NOT overweight in some way. I see large quantities of middle aged ladies on the treadmills. This place has like 20 TM's, 40 elipticals (3 versions) and about 20 bikes. And a pool. This locations even does aquatic exercises. Those classes usually have the morbidly obese participants. They seem to have to start out with minimal resistance and impact. The pool does well for that.

My understanding is that the women are much more critical and comparing of each other (info from DW). The weight lifting bodybuilders actually are willing to help any other guys. I guess it's a guy thing.
No matter what you do. Don't let them get to you. You keep right on going and get your husband going.
Good luck.
Tom.

[Rhalvahn]

I love the little dude at the bottom Tom. I'm at 24 hour fitnessn too - and they couldn't stop me from going if they barred the door...okay - I'd probably go someplace else. You are absolutely right on the demographics... I work downtown Houston, and the one by my office is ALL jocks/jocketts. The one out closer to my home (35 miles west of Houston) is more relaxed... have actually had guys volunteer to help if I'm having trouble with a machine. The gym that I joined at, is brand new, and isn't even finished yet. I think it will be an awesome gym though - the demographics are varied. High Income/Low Income and extremely diverse ethnic wise. The girls are funny though...there is definite critical/compare issues that occur. My friend, Kelsey, and I work out together, but we spend more time admiring the views around us than worrying about the other girls in there. And Kelsey's a rock - she is a former boxer, and does Martial Arts...so she's ALL about focus and getting back into the grove of lifting.

Maxibee - the sad thing about that - is that you'd THINK they'd WANT and ENCOURAGE overweight people to come to the gym....your supposed to be getting HEALTHIER there!

[motherto6]

I'm sorry you felt so bad. I feel that way myself even though the people aren't making me feel that way, I am. I know what I look like and the positions I have to put myself in to do some of the machines or crunches etc make me feel very exposed. I've never seen anyone larger then myself at the gym. I don't think I've ever noticed anyone even as large as myself at the gym. I just tell myself that I'm doing it for me and to just do it anyway.

I do often see women larger then myself doing the pool exercises. I'd much rather be doing it in the pool. Somehow I feel slimmer in the pool and the water keeps me cool. Also there's the added benefit of at least feeling more covered in the water. I don't know if it's as beneficial as working out in the gym though. I really don't like the treadmill.

Anyway, I'm glad you're going anyway too. I think as time goes on we all will feel more comfortable going. Who knows maybe seeing some fat people going into the gym will inspire another one to join in too. (look out jock-ish people, we're taking over!)

[BabyCups]

OK I just have to say thank goodness it is not just me! My husband and I joined our local gym back in May (when i was going to re-commit to LC and didn't until June but that is another story) I have been going faithfully to the gym since 6/20 (yes I remember the exact date) I am there 5-6 days a week no fail. My husband is in great shape and is really supporting me going to the gym eating LC cutting out all the junk too so it is not even in our house (yes he is a God no lie) anyway back to topic, when we go to the gym no one is nice to me they all stare, the people at the counter won't even acknowledge me except this one nice older gentleman all the little teenie boppers that are skinny and perfect bodied basically look right past me, HOWEVER my husband, well they just can't get enough talking to him always making conversation I have all but given up I do not even speak to them when i go in I just ignore them and go do my workout, but I will not let them get me down I refuse to allow others to detrement my lifestyle changes to better health!

Now on the other hand the members are great all friendly nice and when I joined I was one of the heaviest people there and no matter who I talked to everyone was friendly which makes it easier!

[Rhalvahn]

Hey Baby Cups! Looks like we are taking a similiar path! There's no chance of them shutting me down, but it annoys me... I have a rough hide, I can take it. But someone seriously emotionally struggling with their weight...and the burden of being overweight and all the psychological issues that come with it. Talk about a sore point?

I just wish that people looked at others from the inside out! I know that's corny, but I truly do!

[Goddess]

for me, part of being overweight was feeling out of place, and of course it's magnified someplace like a gym (or a restaurant) where there is focus on related issues.

some of it is probably real, and some is probably in the ol' head. i know i've heard a friend of my say how she automatically has an awesome amount of respect for very heavy people in a gym. of course, she's been overweight, too, so she understands just how tough it is. but i'm with her!

[Rhalvahn]

Your right Goddess - there's definitely a personal reflection of 'I'm the fattest person in here' that occurs. Disheartening though it may be...the goal is to NOT be the fattest person in there, and encourage other overweight people that come in. I'm one of those goofy idiots who can't help but smile at people I don't know...my friends think I'm at idiot.

But it's one of those things that I usually get back...or even more fun..an odd look, like WHY in the world are you SMILING at ME???? So...I just smile....and smile...and smile....and resist the urge to go yeah...I'm working out here with all you jocks/jocketts! And you can't stop me! ;-)

[CushieButterfield]

When I lost the weight with fen/phen I also was working out six days a week at the gym for two hours. (which of course helped me drop those pounds) The time for me made the difference. I went at 10AM and usually it was pretty empty. Just some pro body builders and other fatty patties like me. It was nice. The funny thing is that the pros were the nicest people. I think they really saw that I was working at this almost everyday and was getting results. (I had a couple exercises I did in "their" free-weight room) I imagine that later in the afternoon and evening there were probably more "posers" and preppies.

When I move and drop the cable for the winter (I like too many regular tv shows in the winter adn USA in the spring) I am debating on joining the 24 hour fitness but going before work when I can take the baby to day care early. After reading this I am definitely going to check it out a few days before committing.

We have a Bally's here on a major street that we always refer to as "the wall of a$$" because all the hotties would workout in front of this giant window on the stairsteppers and treadmills and driving by that's all you could see.

But yes my thoughts at another gym I was a member of were "too darn bad if you dont like watching me"

[Rhalvahn]

Noel -
One thing I do have to speak highly of 24 hour fitness - if you join their 'sport' level ($52 for my husband and I) - child care is included (up to 2 hours/day). Plus you can hit ANY of the 24 hour fitness clubs at sport level or below.
Dee

[dad2bike]

I've been a member of 24hr for over 15 years. So long that I pay $34 a month for the entire family (4). It is not a sports membership though. When they upgraded my gym to a sports (all they did was add a bloody basketball court) they grandfathered those of us that had been going there consistantly. I can go to any gym only version of 24hr fitness. Just not the sports ones. When I comes time for them to force me to move up then I'm dropping the rest of the family. DW has gone so few times that I could count the times on my fingers. She had real problems with her appearance. Worse than what you started this thread with. To the point of not going. DW is very strong willed and my head was getting bloody against the wall. So I gave up trying to get her to join me. And IMO, it was mostly self generated issues.

Something to check on for your kids. They used to do a childrens aerobics session on Saturdays for about an hour. We used to bring the kids and do our WO then too. The kids loved it. At that time you paid for all child care except the aerobics class. Free child care. Hmm, I guess DW did go a little more then 10 times. Not much.

[CushieButterfield]

I'm ultra-picky about who watches my son. I did look into 24 fitness and knew they had the child care but I don't think Xander would be happy if I took him out of daycare just to leave him in another. In fact I think he'd be really peeved. Partly because of his condition but mostly because he's two.

Of course the big reason I would go in the morning is so I go. Because after I get out of work I love to come home and spend time with baby. I'm not a great morning person but I think it would work.

I also have the option of one of the community centers around here. If I can find one close that has the treadmills and is open fairly early then I could join for next to nothing. Which would be perfect.

But the nice thing about a real gym is that you can get advice from a trainer. When I first joined better bodies (my fen/phen gym) I had a few sessions for free (which I think a lot of places do) and I followed that routine for six months.

[Rhalvahn]

Sorry to hear about the bloody head Tom...I deal with the same with my WH. I finally decided to lead by example...except he's not following! The 24 Hour sport gym here has a pool too - 4 lanes, lap only! I love to swim..and hate having to go around all the little munchkins that like to play in the lanes at our neighborhood pool, so that will work well.

I can definitely understand the picky nature of who watches your kid. Tori's eight, and had open heart surgery in June, so I'm kind of picky as well! To say the least. But all the kids areas are really clean, and the staff is very kid friendly, and I've not had anything even remotely concerning happen. We used to go to a 24 hour fitness a few years ago, and Tori got so attached to one of the kids area guys that we had to track him down when he left! She wanted to give him a card to tell him thank you for being her friend. And this was at 5!!! I'm so dreading 15....heck, I'm dreading 12! She's practically in love with my best friend (Brad, and he's 34) and sends him cards and stuff (he's part of an activated National Guard Unit going to Iraq) on a weekly basis. I'm definitely NOT looking forward to her teenage years....boys? we don't need no stinking boys!