Kick-in-the-Pants HELP!!

[M'Lady K]

THIS ALSO POSTED IN THE NEWBIES. But I thought since I have so much to lose and have already lost 95 pounds, people in this forum might have some unique insights. I've been lurking here for a long time without posting.

Now I need a little help. Encouraging help, kick-in-the-pants help to counteract the the kick-in-the-pants I received Friday (It took me this long to figgure out how to get signed in).

Here's the problem: I bought new scales on Friday because I've had the feeling my old ones weren't measuring accurately (because my mother-in-laws showed a different weight - not as much loss as mine showed). The new scales, after I'd carefully calibrated them, showed me weighing 32 lbs. heavier than I thought I weighed

I am SO PISSED!!! (sorry, but yelling is a needed outlet).

It means that I was 32 pounds heavier when I started than I thought I was. That means I weighed over 300 pounds when I started!! I don't know why but that 300 pound mark really gets under my skin! How could I let myself get to that???

And, instead of being at the nice round 200 pound mark I thought I was at, I actually weighed 232 pounds on Friday (yes, I'm down to 230 today but still!).

AND, I had to go back and adjust all my weight stuff in FitDay! Do you know what a pain-in-the-butt that was?!?!?

So yesterday morning, Saturday, I looked up the "induction" thing from Atkins. Okay, 30 grams or less per day. For two weeks. I can do that. That's what I'm doing. (Do you know that FitDay doesn't subtract fiber from the carb count!!! bummer!)

The 200 pound mark was very very important to me because I need (for myself only) to lose 40 pounds by May 4th. Both of my younger children are graduating from college in May and that is the date of the first graduation. Lots of pictures will be taken (you all know what that means right?). I wanted to look as nice as possible.

It was a goal I set for myself last March. At 160 pounds I thought I might be wearing a size 12, maybe a size 10. I just had a picture in my head. I've been holding it out to myself through all these months since March 2005.

Now, in order to reach that goal I would have to lose 72 pounds by May 4th. From my experience with this WOE, I just don't think it is possible.

I've been losing steadily since March by focusing on 10 pounds per month. That's all. Just the 10 pounds. I've never stopped to focus on the "total" except to say to myself "by the kids graduations I want to be a size 12 or 10. 10 if I get there, but don't think about it just focus on the 10 pounds per month." I didn't count my carbs too carefully. I never did "induction." I just cut out as many unneccessary carbs as possible, ate a well balanced meal with meat and vegetables, took my vitamins and drank plenty of fluids. I also began exercising regularly.

I got on the scales religiously every morning, didn't freak if it hadn't changed because I do know about the "whoosh fairy" and know that I'm going to gain about 10 pounds before my period - but I'll lose it to about Day 3 of my period. I was religious about the scales because then when I had a temptation I would just say to myself "what did you weigh this morning?" "How far is that from your 10 pounds this month, how many days do you have till the end of the month?" "If you eat this, will you lose that 10 pounds?"

Whenever I thought I was stuck, I would go to FitDay and write down EVERYTHING I ate and all of my activities. Usually after 7 days of that, I would have corrected any bad habits I'd unconciously fallen into.

So that's how I've managed to lose 95 pounds. I still have 80 pounds to go to reach my "final goal" of 125 pounds. And, right this minute I am irrationaly pissed about the 32 pounds!!! Since I've never quite felt this discouraged, I thought I'd stop in here and post so all of you nice people can help my "scrub out my head" (my version of the "stinking thinking" saying).

Hmmm..since I'm new. I think I should go ahead and tell you a bit more about myself and my motivations in this same post. (Nope, can't do it. Too long of a post. I'll post an "Intro" separately).

Okay, I'm done. I know this is very lengthy. I feel better about the 32 pounds having written all of this though. Thank you for indulging me. Please do write me some "kick-in-the-pants" messages about the scale thing. I need some thoughts to tell myself to keep me from obsessing more about this.

Thanks!

[Felonee]

Wow!!! Don't look at it as I still have x pounds to lose! Look at is as I've already lost X% of what I needed to lose! You are doing a phenomenal job, and making huge changes in both the health of your body and the way you look.

Go get a before pic. Have your DH or someone take a pic of you now... that's a during picture... put them side by side, and I bet you'll be amazed. Even my 20 pounds lost pics show a difference (though it's small)!

Induction is 20 carbs per day, and although Fitday doesn't show net carbs, it does give you that breakdown at the top of the foods page, and it clearly shows your total carbs and total fiber so that you can determine the net carbs. I wish that it showed net carbs too, so that I could use that as one of my nutrition goals.

[LessRenee]

The best "kick in the butt" that I know of is goddess. She's a moderator here that writes in a very no-nonsense way.

I find that reading her posts keeps my thinking straight and keeps me honest.

Her website is here http://www.shrinkinggoddess.com/ or you might want to search for some of her posts.

[Goddess]

thanks renee...i think. har! seriuosly, tho, i'm glad to know you've found some of my thoughts helpful....

lady, first of all, congratulations on your losses! while i understand you were very disappointed you weren't as "close" as you thought, you still have done very, very well and you need to acknowledge that. in fact, when i read your intro post and this one, it almost felt like two different people were talking!

now, on to the other....get ready to hear all the stuff you already know. ha!

you realize you're completely missing the point here, don't you? i'm not saying i wouldn't be frustrated myself in your situation, but it's in your best interest to let it go as soon as you humanly can. the simple fact is that there is absolutely NO difference in how you're doing from the thursday when you felt good about your work until the friday when you didn't. you don't look any different. your health is not worse. you don't wear a different size of clothing. the ONLY difference is in your head.

while the scale is an easy way to measure progress, you can't mistake that stupid number for the ACTUAL progress, nor can you self-define based on that number. we get hung up on it, we obsess about it, and we let it make or break our day. in fact, if the scale ends up leaving someone feeling discouraged, i'd rather they throw it out than let themsevles feel bad. not to mention the scale is only ONE of many tools to measure your progress.

goals can be great. they're often helpful. they give us little incentives, milestones, and energy to make changes. but you have to make sure how you're using them is helping. i am almost always against goals that are focused on "lose-by" dates, especially when the word "must" is attached. why? because they are firstly based on somehting you absoultely don't have direct control over--while your choices drive losses it doesn't guarentee them. ask anyone who's ever stalled! and the "must" is simply baloney. it's not like your head will blow up if you don't do whatever by that date--they move the focus to time, which is totally irrelevant.

if you want low carb to work, there is no end. there are goals and maintenence, but you must adjust your eating for the rest of your life. you go back to eating the old way, you'll go back to weighing the old way, too. but surely at this point you know this. you're a vet by now!

what you've done, the work you've done, the progress you've made, has NOT changed. the only thing that's changed is your perception. you can choose to get discouraged--or you can choose to frame it as even more clear how important the changes you've made are.

i've got two scales in my house. one weighs about 10 pounds less consistently than the other one. which one is right? well, if you're a scale-maker, probably the "heavy" one. if you're me? the one that's right is the one that i find most encouraging! i dunno. it's absolutely amazing how much power we give a little hunk of metal and plastic.

if i were you, i'd look a little deeper. nothing about your journey has changed one iota. it is merely your perceptions. clearly, the numbers have some meaning to you, beyond the reality of your current condition. that's where i would look, asking myself what it means to me and going from there.

i like to say feeling bad is fattening. it is. and while i know it's nice to look good for special events, your boys don't give a flying you-know-what about your dress size in the photos. (and when you're there, you won't, either. that's not what the day is about.) you need to stay focused on what really matters...it's not numbers or dates or anything of the sort. it's being healthy and feeling good and being able to be a full participant in your own life. it's about being around and loving and living 100%. you can't do that if you're cussing yourself over numbers when WHAT YOU"VE ACCOMPLISHED has actually not changed....a bit! you are still just as much a success now as before you "knew"...and the ONLY way that is going to change is if you let it.

keep the faith and forget the numbers, dear. success and failure are all in your head, and you get to choose which one you want. you get what you focus on. so focus on the good.

peace out.

[M'Lady K]

Okay, I'm better now. It helped to "emote" all over this board (2 areas but I won't do that again <smile>) and then it helped because I got such encouraging messages from others. Thank you so much - all of you!!

Felonee - I do have a before picture - my driver's license picture from 2005. That is what started me on this woe. I also have a picture my mother-in-law took just two weeks ago. I got some help on the FitDay thing and I do appreciate you telling me about it. Now I'm better able to calculate for the induction thing.

LessRenee - Oh yeah - goddess. She definitely gave it to me in a no-nonsense form, which I appreciated.

goddess - I agree with every point you made. I just forgot for three days. <whine whine> I'm over it now. I think. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm over it. Thanks for all of the no nonsense straight shooting points you've made!

~K

[CarolynInTexas]

Fitday does subtract fiber, look at the top of your page, above foods eaten today, and it show counts for the day, look down to carbs, and under it is fiber...I thought that too, till someone pointed it out tome.
c