New Girl....Sharing My Story

[ellebell]

Hi Ya'll! Needed some place to talk and share my story and get some advice....thought this place looked pretty awesome!

In January of 2002 I began my weight loss journey afer stepping on a doctor's scale and seeing 260 lbs. I am 5'2 and was absolutely devestated with myself. At the time I considered weight loss surgery, but felt the best thing for me was to try diet and exercise one last time. (I had failed a gazillion times before...ya know how the story goes...). I looked online and somehow stumbled on a personal website of a woman who had done low carb and had lost over a 100 lbs. I started the next day and never looked back. For over two years I stuck with the program and in June of 2004 I weighed a 119 lbs. A total weight loss of 141 lbs. I capped it my journey off by having a tummy tuck done at the age of 21. I knew the excess skin would never go away and I wanted to reward myself for completing my journey. After the surgery was all said and done and I had recovered, I weighed 114 lbs. I felt that weight was too thin for me and gained about 10 lbs. after that and maintained a steady weight with maintenance (atkins style) of 125 lbs. till July of 2005. In September I gained ten more lbs. as for the fist time in several years I began eating sugar (sneaking it here and there)...I told myself it was okay, but I could slowly feel myself beginning something that I didn't know how to control. In October I found out I was pregnant with my husband and I's first child and my life has not been the same since. I had every intention of continuting maintenance level (about 60-75 carbs) so that I would not harm the baby with ketosis levels, but I faltered and began a downward spiral of eating out of control. I let myself have anything I wanted blaming it entirely on "cravings"....but the truth of the matter was I wanted those things....I felt I had worked so long and so hard that "didn't I deserve to eat "normal" food again?" It was fun at first, but as my weight skyrocketed to what it is today (190 lbs.) I realized that somewhere along the way I confused a "reward" with a lifestyle change. So here I am today....only a week away from giving birth to my beautiful baby girl who I already adore and I am sitting here realizing how easy it is to lose control. I am realizing how easy it is to give up. I am realizing how easy it is to falter when you feel so darn confident you could never fail again. So now I am here....back to the internet where I first started my journey. Of course, my priorities are to have a healthy baby first and make sure she has all her needs taken care of, but I find myself reflecting a week before she is due on the craziness and life-changing aspects of weight loss and gain and it's never ending journies.

I'm not sure why I posted this. I never really do things like this, but I wanted to share my story with others. I know there has to be others out there struggling with some of the same feelings of wanting to give up or feeling bad for "cheating" or the exhiliration that comes when you step on the scale and see real progress. After my baby is born you will find me once again taking that journey to regain a piece of what and where I felt most comfortable with myself. I won't tell you that it will be the last journey I will ever take, but it will be heartfelt and it will be real and as always I will give it everything I have.

Thank you for listening (insert: reading) and God Bless You All!

[Goddess]

elle- welcome, and thanks for sharing your story. as somebody who is somewhere around maintenence myself, your words really rang true to me. the "little here and little there" idea just doesn't work, huh? it was a reminder that i needed to hear myself. so thank you.

please do make yourself at home here. this a a great bunch of folks, and i've found the support and info and overall encouragement i've gotten here to be unparallelled.

glad to have you back from the "dark side" !

[CushieButterfield]

Thanks for sharing. We do need to remember that this will be a lifetime program. After losing and gaining 90 pounds many years ago I know now that when I hit my goal I'd better keep working. Glad to see you've not fallen into the "it's just baby weight" line of thought either. Of course some is baby weight but we can't blame all of our troubles on having babies. A friend that I showed a photo of me at my son's 1st birthday said "but you just had the baby" and I said he's one that's not just having him, plus I gained 25 pounds with him and then 35 after so that was just eating!

Good luck with your new precious bundle of joy. And getting back to lc when you're ready. I started two days after my son's first birthday (I was nursing until then).

[QueenMama]

Welcome, Elle. You've come to a great place for support when you are ready to get back on the wagon.

Congratulations on your first baby, and I hope you have a wonderful delivery. You must be so excited! All my best to you and your husband.

[beamhive]

Elle--WELCOME! Great to have you. Congratulations on your soon to arrive precious gift!

I gained 60 lbs. with my pregancy, and I, too at first blamed it on just being pregnant. I ate whatever I wanted and kept telling myself it was just the cravings. Well, my cravings continued for 12 years! I gained 60 MORE lbs. and have yo-yoed above and below 300.

I am determined this time to lose it & keep it off! This forum is a great place! You have such a strong support system here. Don't stress it right now. Get that baby here and, more importantly, make sure you're BOTH healthy. Then start on a plan that works for you. Sounds like Atkins has worked for you in the past, I'd go with it--that's what I'm doing.

Come back anytime--there's always someone here to listen (read!).

[Maggie]

Welcome, elle.

May your labor be short and easy and your baby healthy and happy!

We're happy to keep you company on your journey to where you want to be. Please make yourself at home here.

[teelbee]

I found your story very moving and I think you are unusually perceptive. You recognize the importance of good nutrition, which so many people overlook. You are a person who has had fantastic success with healthy weight maintenance, and I'm confident that you have the same talents now. Before long you will be on the road to success again. Best wishes for an easy delivery and lovely, healthy baby girl.

[Rob]

Welcome Elle and Congratulation. Please come back to this forum often and we'll help keep you on track (whatever track YOU decide to be on). You're in a much better position now than when you were at 260. After the baby is born you'll be below your current 190 pounds, let's just say you lose 15 to 20 pounds. That will put you at 170-175. so to get to 125 you would need to lose 50 pounds or less. Much better than your original 141 pound loss. Good luck with the baby and the weight loss!~

[ellebell]

Thank you all for your kind comments and advice....it is always so nice to look at things from other points of views...you always end up learning something or thinking about things differently.....

I will definitely come back often although i might be MIA for a while as the baby could come any day! haha! :jump:

Thanks again and best to all!

[Rob]

Ellebell - thinking of you and your baby! Hope everything is wonderful!!