Thread: The danger of "I deserve"

Last weekend, I was performing some hard physical labor to help stage an event. At lunchtime, when they rolled out the burgers and buns, beans, potato salad, and brownies, I felt a little mental nudge that said: "You've worked hard--you deserve to indulge a little."

Right away, I recognized this old thinking as one of the hazards of ongoing LCE. Deserve, shmerve! What I deserve isn't foods that aren't good for me, but the reward of achieving a healthy weight and the good feelings that go with that.

I suppose "deserve" is leftover thinking from childhood days when dessert was a reward for cleaning up my plate (what a bad idea that is!) "Deserve" is the notion that sweets naturally accompany life's celebrations, and it just isn't friendly not to participate. "Deserve" is a big fat excuse.

I'm going to be on the lookout for the "I deserve" attitude, and try to find ways to substitute better rewards, both mentally and food-wise.

P. S. I ate a burger without bun, a hotdog likewise, and hit the veggies pretty hard. Didn't starve. Had a great day! I deserved it!

Good example of conquering the beast within us all! Old habits die hard but they can easily be rendered comatose. My course of action is often just to bring a T-bone steak and let's see how jealous I can make them burger eaters.

i TOO have heard those voices...

thanks for the reminder of what to DO with them...:-)

heh heh.. after cleaning out the RV.. i DESERVED some unsweetened REGULAR ice tea instead of making green tea..*L*... and... i even *horrors!* indulged on NOT picking out ALL of the carrot shreds in the salad i just ate (no dressing) *L*..

what REBELS we are ...

Well said, Barb!

How right you are Barb.

I used to think I deserved to eat like other people, but I've definitely re-thought that whole line of reasoning!

Would I tell an alcoholic that she "deserved" a drink? or a heroine junkie that she "deserved" a fix? And while a rare "treat" obviously isn't as dangerous as a fix is to an addict, casually stuffing myself with carbs would most surely have a seriously detrimental effect on my health. I deserve better than that!

I guess it's a matter of not feeling sorry for ourselves for what we don't eat, and feeling blessed that we've found a way to regain our health... and eat LOTS of great stuff in the process.

I deserve... is a great way to remember that what we "think" and reality sometimes don't mesh. I earned my way into a LOT of extra weight by cleaning my plate and the dessert bowl too...now I deserve to be healthy...by eating things my body needs, not the things I was trained to think I deserved...I love that way of thinking...great thread barb.

Sticky! Sticky!!

We are working on this very thing in my Dr.Phil group. I even posted about it in my journal. I am currently working on other, non-carbohydrate ways to "reward" myself. I deserve a healthier, slimmer body. Just giving myself sweets as a reward is basically destructive and punishing in the long run.

Good thread, Barb. I hope I can now learn to argue more effectively with those "you deserve...." voices!

Great post, Barb. I run into the "I Deserve" mentality quite a bit. And it's that mentality that's keeping me from losing those last 1-2 pounds. I usually cave in to too much whipped cream on my berries in the evening, because "I deserve it." While I do not gain, I do not lose. I am going to try your little mind game today!

barb-your great attitutude speaks volumes about your success! and you got me thinking...i think next time i feel the "i deserve's" in my head (and i think we all do sometimes), i'm going to replace them...with what i REALLY deserve!

• i deserve to look and feel great!
• i deserve being healthy!
• i deserve a long life!
• i deserve to feel good about my choices!
• i deserve to treat my body with love and respect
• i deserve feeling energetic
• i deserve to be free of sugar and carb addictions
• i deserve the success i've had--and will continue to have!
• i deserve to enjoy social occassions without feeling yucky over the food choices i've made.
• i deserve to feel proud of myself and my accomplishments.
• i derseve REAL rewards, not ones that don't make me feel good!
• i deserve taking care of myself, for me and for those i care about.
• i DESERVE the absolute best i can do for myself!

i've no doubt some of these thoughts are going to visit next time i am having a struggle with "deserving" to make a poor choice, and i know they will make a difference.

thanks barb!