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Things that trigger...
Posted 01-22-2009 at 01:05 AM by ***Amy***
Okay, so I know that I'm in a better place. I know that the decisions that I made that brought me to where I am were the right ones.
So now the ex has got a new girlfriend. And I am happy for him. The thing is, she's young (half his age) and small and petite and has none of the baggage that he gave to me.
It bugs me. It's messing with my self esteem. This is probably at least partly because he messed around with a young thin chick while we were married. And he made a point to tell me that she had the "body of a gymnast". (I stayed for a long time even after that)
I love my BF. He is 110% better for me and treats me so good. He is my other half, my soulmate.
So why is this something that is sticking in my mind and making me want to run to my comfort foods...?
I think that I am pulled to things that are bad for me. If it hurts me, I have a hard time letting it go. And this new youngster is taking all the scabs that I had and pulled them off. It makes me remember how inadequate I felt. And to some extent is making me feel that way again.
How could he still have the power to do that to me so easily? I really don't understand. I have this man telling how beautiful I am and that I am and always have been the one for him (We've known each other for almost 18 years). And still I can the words of this other man who is no longer in my life as a mate affect me this way.
Maybe for me, the bad stuff is easier to believe and rings true to my heart.
That's what I need to work on changing the most....
So now the ex has got a new girlfriend. And I am happy for him. The thing is, she's young (half his age) and small and petite and has none of the baggage that he gave to me.
It bugs me. It's messing with my self esteem. This is probably at least partly because he messed around with a young thin chick while we were married. And he made a point to tell me that she had the "body of a gymnast". (I stayed for a long time even after that)
I love my BF. He is 110% better for me and treats me so good. He is my other half, my soulmate.
So why is this something that is sticking in my mind and making me want to run to my comfort foods...?
I think that I am pulled to things that are bad for me. If it hurts me, I have a hard time letting it go. And this new youngster is taking all the scabs that I had and pulled them off. It makes me remember how inadequate I felt. And to some extent is making me feel that way again.
How could he still have the power to do that to me so easily? I really don't understand. I have this man telling how beautiful I am and that I am and always have been the one for him (We've known each other for almost 18 years). And still I can the words of this other man who is no longer in my life as a mate affect me this way.
Maybe for me, the bad stuff is easier to believe and rings true to my heart.
That's what I need to work on changing the most....
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Comments
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nobody has that power unless you give it to them. i suspect he didn't use it well when it had it...doesn't sound like it. isn't it time to take it back?Quote:How could he still have the power to do that to me so easily? I really don't understand.
good luck figuring out YOUR path, Amy.Posted 01-22-2009 at 11:00 AM by Goddess
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