Off and On the Wagon
byon 04-22-2008 at 09:20 PM (321 Views)
Well, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve been in touch and I must admit that part of the reason for my absence is that I fell off the wagon a bit over this period. It was a case if gastroenteritis that had me throwing up at even at the thought of eggs, bacon and anything remotely diary. So of course I took full advantage of the fact that I had given myself some “off time” and indulged in some not-so-good-for-me foods, such as Rocky Road and potato chips. I have to say that after three days of this behavior I was kinda over it and snapped back into my low card routine. I have been doing pretty well considering my lapse and have continued to steadily lose weight over the past couple of months, although at a much slower pace than when I fist started but I expected that to be the case. In total I have lost about 6kgs, which I am really happy with as I always thought that losing any kind of significant weight would include suffering, hunger and deprevation. But I love my diet and feel that there are no restrictions on me at all.
When I first started my adventured into low carb eating I of course took the typical route of a anally retentive perfectionist – I wanted to stick strictly to plan each and every day. I wanted to be the best little low carb dieter in town. But I soon realized that putting this kind of pressure on my self was doing more harm than good. And all the old hang ups I had from my eating badly days were still hanging around. So for some silly reason, when I would eat a “sweet”, such as sugar free jelly with a bit of thickened cream on top, it sent a message to my head that I was eating something “bad” (presumably because I actually enjoyed it!) and then that gave the binge eating process some momentum. It was the same trap that I had fallen into too many times before.
Now my attitude has changed. Instead of beating my self up over stupid petty things, I just pretend like I am not on any diet at all and live my life as though I would if I could eat whatever I wanted to. Except now I enjoy sugar free chocolate bars and Coke Zero instead of cake and soda. If I feel like something “junky”, I find out a low carb version and enjoy the hell out of it! That way my brain is getting its little fix of “naughty” food while my body gets the nutrients it deserves.
I know that deep down the best thing to do is to tackle the issue of why I crave certain foods and that wanting to eat them is just a knee jerk reaction to some deep seeded emotion. But I also find that over analyzing the situation can make it real hard to have some head way in terms of tackling my fixation on what goes into my mouth.
I understand that I will never be perfect – I still love chocolate and jelly and soda and all that other yummy stuff. I also know that my body needs to be better taken care of after all the dietary torture I have put it through over the years. So for me it is about balance and right now I am in a great place both mentally and physically. My clothes are looser, my stomach less bloated, my skin in better condition. I am confident enough to go out and buy a pair of jeans in a smaller size. And I really enjoy my weekly Friday lunch time Weight Watchers meetings. Even though I don’t follow their plan, I love the support and shared sense of purpose that I get from getting together with a bunch of like minded people.
As for my eating – I am of the opinion that as long as I stick to low carb options, I have had a good day. I still write down my carb intake, but this is mostly now just to make sure that I am getting enough vegetable carbs, rather than a way to over control my eating habits. And it works for me. And I guess that is all a weight loser can ask for.
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