Not all victories are apparant when you first look.

I have had one of the worst 3 week periods of my recent life, because of pain and stress. There is no way to even describe how hard it was to start back to school this year. Suffice it to say there were just setbacks and impediments everywhere I looked. It seemed like the Devil had stacked the deck on this hand. During all this I was feeling pretty good about myself and low carb lifestyle-- hey, I managed to keep losing most of the time, turn down some amazing trigger foods (homemade ice cream and chips and salsa among em) and not binge.
Yesterday I ate stuff I would NOT describe as Low carb, but somehow it still feels like a victory.

At the end of an absolutely soul wrecking 2nd day of all day Kinder, my step mom took me out to a really nice restaurant for a kind of happy hour. We go sometimes on Fridays-- La Posta (you can look it up in Life Magazine archives, Sunset, Etc._ It is historic, and there are lovely, relaxing patios and hidden alcoves with beautiful folk art to look at, flowers, fountains, Live toucans and parrots I've known since I was a child, and great margaritas (even though I haven't drank anything for decades). We eat an early dinner or snack and my son chatters about his day and talks to the birds. Very relaxing!!!

I skipped the margarita, but I had a taste of Cathy's-- not bad, but waaaaay tooo sweet (she gets the fancy frozen kind. I actually ate a chip. (5 to be exact) and was full of chips. Wheres the victory so far? Well, most of us Natives, even the skinny naturally self limiting kind, eat about 5 lbs of chips before the waitress gets back with the iced tea. 5 chips tasted good, the chile was excellent and it was better than eating it with a spoon--texture was satisfying. BUT the important thing was 5 chips was all I wanted. I ate carbs and it was enough. Cool.

I went right back to ordering a side of chile con queso (melted cheese with green chile) over shredded lettuce and tomato instead of chips. It was great. I think I actually like it better than chips now that I tried tostadas again. Hmm, lifestyle change here?

Later my big church group came over and brought pizza. They didn't want me cooking after my hard week. I ate a big salad, but decided to eat pizza too. Usually when I "cheated" in the past, it was with guilt, despair, giving up, etc. All the emotions that go with the "Gotta get drunk" mentality. Not this time. I hadn't had time to snatch more than a couple of nuts for breakfast and a 1/2 portion of veggie/meat leftovers at lunch. I was still hungry. Same thing! Miracle of miracles, a very small slice of thin crust white pizza tasted good and I was DONE. No cravings, no guilt, Just like a normal person!!!
I made it through the night without getting up and binging, no hunger, no cravings, just me!!
That tastes like a victory.
This morning I am ready to go back on very low carbs or no carbs -- I may have worsened my fibro but so far i am actually feeling better.
I feel peaceful, warm and happy that I am really in a lifestyle, not a diet where i have to cheat or not cheat. I can make choices.
Oh, and I lost 4 pounds. Yep, I admit i had to leap out of bed at 6am sat morning to go check.

Back to the new normal!!! Hooray and Thank You Lord!!