Fat Dreams Skinny Dreams
byon 09-16-2009 at 05:04 PM (583 Views)
I have always had a very rich dream life. There were a couple of years when I slept only an hour or two a day because of fibro and not dreaming was as disruptive as the exhaustion. The only thing i can complain about is how real they are, lol. You know the old saying about flying dreams? (You never feel the crash) That has never been true for me since everything is in living color, surroundsound smellovision etc. The pain in my dreams hurts worse too. I really hate it when the monsters finally end up eating me bit by bit, but it is balanced by the joy of hugging my Grandmother, making her laugh, spending time with my Daddy and others who have passed long ago, etc.
Just this week I realized it has been a month or two since I had any of my alltime least favorite dreams. BEING TRAPPED. Over the years of my heaviest weights, I frequently dream of being stuck like Pooh in Rabbit's house: the front end outside in the rain and the back end used as a towel rack for wet towels and raincoats. Lol, only MINE are terrifying, not funny.
In these dreams, I am caving, cave diving, or fighting a fire, or trying to get into or out of a house, store, etc. I am stuck, wedged tight in the door or hole, suffocating, having a full scale panic attack, claustrophobia, and shame and mortification because there are always witnesses. In the case of cave diving or fire fighting, i am alone, slowly suffocating and or roasting while the tide rolls in and no can find me or help me.
Before i started treating my sleep apnea, I was also struggling for every breath. Sometimes in the hospital in an old time oxygen tent, dying from pnuemonia, sometimes trapped underwater with my air running out and my fat body wedged beneath the wreckage of a ship.
Since I started losing weight, I no longer have any of these dreams. Phew~ Now if I can only find a way to get the trex from following me I'll be great~
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