Thread: Mammogram

Here's a funny story that I got today in my email. Thought all of the women would get a chuckle out of it.....

The mammogram appointment

>>>I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with,
>>>?Hi, I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear
>>>to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned,
>>>?All I need you to do is step into this room here, strip to the
>>>waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clearrr?"
>>>
>>> I?m thinking, "Belinda ... try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
>>>
>>> Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
>>> Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine.
>>> It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG
>>>in less than 60 seconds.
>>>Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything
>>>nice...it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a
>>>cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.
>>>
>>>With the right side finished, Bel inda flipped me (literally) to
>>>the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and
>>>lean in a tad so we can get everything?"
>>>
>>>"Fine," I answered. I was freezing, bruised and out of air, so
>>>why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me
>>off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my
>>>other boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when
>>>we heard, and then felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
>>>
>>>"What?" I yelled.
>>>"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda
>>headed for the door.
>>>
>>>?Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I
>>>shouted.
>>>
>>> Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's
>>wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right
>>>back."
>>>Before I could shout, NOOOO!" she disappeared.
>>>
>>> And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men
>>>extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from
>>>the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
>>>
>>>After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings,
>>>Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the
>>>power was off.
>>>
>>>Trying to disguise my hysteria I replied with as much calmness as
>>>possible. "Uh, yes...yes I did thanks."
>>>
>>>?You bet, take care," Bubba rep lied and waved good-bye as though
>>>I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
>>>
>>> Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and
>>>making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I
>>>went to lunch. Are we upset?"
>>>
>>> And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
>>>clamps

OUCH!!!