Company Policy:
Effective: June 2005

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag,
we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need
a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do
not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you
need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are
called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made
to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases
where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to
work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,
the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin
board under the "Chronic Offenders category." Anyone caught smiling
in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health
policy.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more,
so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes
for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,
consternation and input should be directed elsewhere
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my blog

ROFL

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Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

That's great!!

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

funny......

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http://www.youravon.com/cnorulak
carolyn in texas
started 8/11/03 327/268/177
5/20/08/ - 348
onward thru the fog

I think I worked there once.

__________________

another GOOD one from pianomom!

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Cindy

Sept 2003 248 lbs :( 5'3"
June 2004 190 :hot:
July 2005 208.6
March 2006 220 (damn) :crying:

striving to be a loser.....

Thanks! Glad you guys enjoyed it!