For all you Law and Order fans:
> > >
> > >These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
> > >things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
> > >published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
> > >these exchanges were actually taking place.
> > >
> > >
> > >___________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Are you sexually active?
> > >A: No, I just lie there.
> > >___________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: What is your date of birth?
> > >A: July 15th.
> > >Q: What year?
> > >A: Every year.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> > >A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > >A: I forget.
> > >Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
> > >forgotten?
> > >____________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > >A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > >Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > >A: Forty-five years.
> > >_____________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
> > >that
> > >morning?
> > >A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > >Q: And why did that upset you?
> > >A: My name is Susan.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
> > >occult?
> > >A: We both do..
> > >Q: Voodoo?
> > >A: We do..
> > >Q: You do?
> > >A: Yes, voodoo.
> > >___________________________________________ __
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
> > >doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> > >A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> > >___________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
> > >_____________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: She had three children, right?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: How many were boys?
> > >A: None.
> > >Q: Were there any girls?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > >A: By death.
> > >Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> & gt; >Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > >A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > >Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
> > >which I sent to your attorney?
> > >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> > >A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> > >A: Oral.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > >A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
> > >Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> > >A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > >______________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > >Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > >A: No..
> > >Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
> > >autopsy?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > >Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> > >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
> > >somewhere
> > >

~~~Teelbee

174 (Mar. 2002, highest weight), 164 (Jan. 2003, begin LC)
174/132/137-134
remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic