Ok my dear friend I need some help here, my co-workers are stating that it isn't in our place to tell this person she smells!

Let me let you in on what I'm talking about. There is a lady I work with who has very very and I mean very bad body odour. It is so bad that when she comes next to me I jsut want to throw up. We're in the month of November people, I just can't imagion what she must smell like in July!!

And to make matters worst is that when she leaves my office the smell just lingers there for what it appears like hours. (I've actually gotten a bottle of air freshner to spray when she leaves).

None of my co-workers want to inform her about it, yet everyone knows about it. I've spoken to 3 of my coworkes and they all tell me, "Upper management should be the one to tell her!"

I almost feel like typing her a note and leaving it in her inbox or something.

What would you do?

I just can't comprehend how someone can smell that bad and not know it.

Anik

Stats
188/127/110
"My metabolism isn't low, it's just hibernating!"

Is it a dirty body smell or a dirty clothing smell?

Perhaps it's a sense she lacks, or was damaged before she was born?

Dryad

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. -- Margaret Thatcher (she's a nut, but it's a good quote)

I actually was the "management" once who had to tell somebody this. First of all, don't assume she has poor hygiene. Some people just really have problem body odor, despite daily showers, deodorant, etc. Assume this is the case; it will help make your approach more diplomatic, even if it's not the case.

Keep the tone light, in the vein of "You know how they say even your best friend won't tell you? Well...I've noticed that sometimes you wear a perfume, or maybe it's your shampoo or something but...to me, it kind of smells like BO. I normally wouldn't say anything, but I know if it were me I'd want to know." If she doesn't just drop dead of embarrassment, but actually says something like, "I don't wear perfume" then follow it with a statement like "You might want try a different deodorant, then."

If she doesn't take action, or says she's tried everything and the problem is still the same, there's not much else you can do. Keep a large bowl of strongly scented potpourri on your desk and keep that can of air freshener handy. Vicks under your nostrils is supposed to help disguise bad smells, too

Aderyn

When I used to work on a production line, there were always one or two workers who had this problem. A friend and I came up with the following solution. We spritzed the front neckline of our shirts with our favorite cologne(just one spritz) and would bury our nose in it anytime we were in close proximity to this person(s). We never went to that job without a small spritzer bottle in our purses. It works. I agree with Aderyn about poor hygiene not necessarily being the culprit. One guy we worked with had bad body odor every time he ate garlic. It just seemed to ooze from his pores every time he ate it.

Joyce

To be quite honest with you, if it were me I'd want someone to tell me. One thing I'm wondering though is will she be offended that no one in the office has said anything to her before. I mean she's been here for over a year.

I think I will tell her something, even though my co-workers have never told her anything.

wish me luck.

Anik

Stats
188/127/110
"My metabolism isn't low, it's just hibernating!"

If it were me, I would want to know, too. I would rather go through the mortification of one person confronting me about it than have everyone gagging behind my back. Plus, it's got to make it awfully hard for her to have any work friends, which would make work a pretty unhappy place to be.

Aderyn

I am such a non-confrontational person! I need assertiveness training.
If it were my co-worker I would probably put together a basket of bath products, deoderant, perfume, etc... along with a card which told her that she has this problem and that you don't want to embarass her by mentioning it in person and that you are a silent friend who cares. Or something to that affect.

But again... I am a coward.

Michelle -- 208/194/140
Started Atkins 9/03
Days exercised in November ****

Kina - I think you should mention it to her, using Aderyn's approach (I really like that). Yes, it will be embarrassing for the woman, but you will be acting toward her as a straight shooter, someone she can trust. Too often in our daily lives we dela with people who are not honest with us. Just as Aderyn said (and others) if it we you, you would want to know (it's almost like walking down the stree with yor fly open, or your skirt tucked in your pantyhose and NO ONE TELLS YOU - that's the worst part!). You may even gain a friend.

She may be angry at first - just tell her how hard it was for you to talk to her becuase you didn't want to hurt her feelings, but you thought she should know.

Just my two cents.

Jen
175/130/120

Well,

I told her! And it was really hard. Can you beleive she hasn't said anything to me since yesterday! After I told her she just stormed right out of the office. I felt awful for her.

She appears very angry with me. I feel bad, but someone had to say something.

She smells better this morning.

Anik

Stats
188/127/110
"My metabolism isn't low, it's just hibernating!"

Kina: Good for you for being strong! I am sure it was really hard, especially since she is obviously angry! Now (and I;m sure you are already doing this) make sure you say hello to her or whatever regularly, so she know that your approachable.

Jen
175/130/120

Consider, too, that "mad" would be a good way to cover up "embarrassed." If it worries you, you could try a nice "didn't mean to hurt your feelings" card or something. In any case, you've done her, and your (more cowardly) co-workers an enormous favor!

Aderyn