Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

It's important that you follow this recipe exactly!!

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
½ cut lemon juice
2 cups nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?

Esther

Haha!!

Atkins since 11/11/03

140/133/115

"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest if we faint not." Gal. 6:9

Gosh, it's been so many years since I made a fruitcake that I'd nearly forgotton how much fun it could be!

Maybe I'll put my hobby of low carbing traditional recipes to work on this.

... hmmm ... let's see. Leave out everything but the water ... increase amount to couple of quarts ... drink half and use the rest to brew some coffee ... replace the whiskey with cognac ... proceed accordingly.

Has promise, no?

Maggie
5'1" ~~ Atkins since '98 (160+)
Maintaining nicely (110 +/-)
~~ Redhead until further notice!

Starting to sound pretty good, Maggie! Just don't throw the coffee pot out the window!!!

Connie

[img]//www.lowcarbeating.com/lcesupporter.gif[/img]

sounds like my kind of fruitcake!!

Jackie

hilarious!!

start 09.01.03 @225
current 200
goal 130ish

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." ~ Thomas Jefferson