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newme2be · #1 08-03-2004, 11:28 PM

I Hope You Guys Are Prepared For A Rollercoaster Ride As You Enter Into My World. Because Thats Exactly What My Life Has Been Probably From Birth Until Now At The Tender Age Of 26. The Title To My Journal Comes From The Fact That I Am A Cancer And I Am Hard On The Outside And Soft On The Inside And The Soft Part Is What Will Be Reflected In My Journal The True Me The Inside Deepest Depths Of Me.
The Good The Bad And The Down Right Ugly. I Have No Idea Where To Begin Maybe I'll Start With My Weight Since Thats What We Are All Here For Right? Well I've Been Fat Since Third Grade Well Probably Second But I Just Didnt Notice. Elementary School Was Horrible From Third Grade On Up. Due To My Moms Unstable Marriage(s) I Had To Switch Schools So Many Times That I Never Really Had A Chance To Meet Any Real Friends And I Was Always The New Student And That Didnt Help Any Ecspecially With Being Overweight. The Kids Teased Me They Never Wanted Me On Their Team All Of The Girls Had Thier Little Clicks And I Was Just A Loner And Made Friend With Anyone That Would Accept Me, Which Was Usually Another Loner Which Really Made For A Boring So Called Friendship. I Hated Going To School And All Through Out School I Felt Like I Was Always On The Outside Looking In. Into This Fun Cool World Of Skinny People That I Just Was Not Apart Of. Dont Get Me Wrong I Did Have Some Fun Times. I Had My First Boyfriend In Eight Grade And He Really Liked Me For Me Although I Was Probably About 190 Pounds It Didnt Matter To Him We Were In Love And For The First Time Ever I Didnt Feel Like An Outsider He Would Walk Me To All Of My Classes, We Ate Lunch Together Everyday, He Called Me As Soon As I Got Off The School Bus And We Would Talk On The Phone For Hours About Absolutley Nothing And It Seems Like He Never Even Noticed That I Was Overweight, Not To Toot My Own Horn Or Anything But I Have Always Had That You Have Such A Pretty Face Syndrome And I Believe That Had Something To Do With It. I Was Not Fat And Ugly Just Fat Thank God. Well We Were Voted Couple Of The Year And For The First Time Ever I Was Very Popular Among My Peers And This Just So Happen To Be The Last Time Also. Wait Until You Hear About High School. If Only I Had Lc Back Then.............................

newme2be · #2 08-05-2004, 12:12 PM

Yesterday Wash DD 8th Birthday And A Terrible Lc Day For Me We Went To A Great Japanese Resturant And I Had Noodles And Rice And Cake Afterwards But Today Will Be Much Better. I Am Going Back To Gym And I Havent Been Since Last Friday Which Is Very Unusual For Me Since I Go At Least 5 Days A Week. I Have Been Because I Was Work From Sun Up To Sun Down To Make Extra Money For School Clothes And Supplies And Two Of My Childrens Birthdays Are This Month So It Is A Very Very Expensive Month For Me.
But No Matter My Short Comings Lc With Arent That Often , More Good Days Than Bad I Will Never Go Back To A High Carb Lifestyle Because The Benefits Are Just To Plain To See With This Wol. I KINDA LIKE THIS JOURNALING THING.

MaryKay · #3 08-05-2004, 12:23 PM

Hi New -
sounds like you're doing well, but if you want input in your journals, get rid of all the capitalized words. Makes it really, really hard to read.
Just trying to help - unless you don't want us to read.

cgilson269 · #4 08-05-2004, 01:43 PM

hi there torri, just stopping by to say hi!
glad you started a journal ... i am looking forward to learning more about you. don't worry about going off track last nite. just look forward, get right back on plan and drink your water.
what kind of workouts do you like to do at the gym?? i'm a gym addict, too.

newme2be · #5 08-05-2004, 02:42 PM

thanks mary kay for stopping by (what is it with the caps you are the second person to tell me that but thanks for reminding me

) i welcome all visitors inside my little secret corner it makes it kinda exciting that someone else knows whats really going on with you and its amazing how comfy i feel here. thanks again.

PoohBearGS · #6 08-05-2004, 02:45 PM

If you capitalize the first word in each sentence and any proper names, instead of every word, it would be easier for the rest of us to read. Otherwise, you can do like Carrie does and leave all of the capital letters out!

Sounds like you are doing well...welcome to the wonderful world of journaling!

newme2be · #7 08-05-2004, 02:54 PM

hi cgilson,

i absolutely love my gym i go right after work around 5:30 with my children (they have child care there so they get to play while i workout but i still feel a little guilty about leaving them since i havent seen them all day already. but its only for an hour.) i love the eliptical machine boy is it hard though but i have gotten major results with this machine escepecially in my thighs and waist line and my butt. i do about 2-3 miles which takes about 25 mins. and i can burn alot of calories although i dont count calories throughout the day i usually burn about 400 on the eliptical. well i hate the treadmill but i usually do about half mile to one mile each day. i also do some weight machines for my terribly flabby tricepts and i really focus on my arms i hate my arms the most (although im glad to have them i guess its just the fat on them that i really really hate) but this week im going to start doing more free weights to help tone my arms. thanks for stopping by my journal please comment any time.

newme2be · #8 08-05-2004, 03:02 PM

i hope to get back to my life history later but im enjoying the present so much i dont even want to think about the past. i have a great husband great kids great home great extended family just a down right great life. (today)

newme2be · #9 08-06-2004, 03:07 PM

i hate myself sometimes but im the one making the stupid decisions so i guess i better put my big girl panties on and deal with it. i need to join a meeting and stand up and say hi my name is torri and i am a high carb addict. i really got to get it in gear i did terrible last night i only plan to eat the whopper from bk without the bun but somehow the bun snuck its way to my lips and then landed right on my hips and today will not be much better with mexican for lunch with co-workers and dd birthday party tomorrow with lots of hc junk. i need help, willpower, divine intervention or something because i am slowly falling and i cant get up. soon my new size 20 will be 26 again omg........

heykim · #10 08-06-2004, 05:10 PM

torri.. read your second to last post.. then the last post.. and then go read GODDESS'S blog... she has the no frill answers to the problems you mention in the last post...
*warning*.. hers is a ADULT rated and no softsoap approach.. but it is all TRUE if you are willing to listen.
kim

newme2be · #11 08-06-2004, 05:51 PM

what makes it so bad is that i already have read goddess blog and i just love the way she sugar coats absolutely nothing she is the most "real" person i know and i really admire her and i know that the choices i have made the last two day have been my choice no one forced me to eat japanese or mexican or birthday cake now i have to deal with the consequences but one thing i am sure of i will get back on track but now i have to indure the induction headache and sugar withdrawl all over again because of the stupid choices that i made. when will this cycle end when will i finally choose that this is not temporary put a new lifestyle for me and i now longer eat hc foods. that will be the day when this wol become permanent success for me and not just a diet.

jestey · #12 08-06-2004, 06:09 PM

Hey, new - welcome to this LC world. I'm a big believer (just like goddess) in setting yourself up to succeed. Don't put yourself in situations where you re likely to fall off the bandwagon. For example, I LOVE McD;s frenchfries more than anything on the face of this planet, next to the QP. No matter how great my intentions are, I cannot eat just the burger, or give the fries to my kids. So, I just don't order them. Ever (salads instead, if I absolutely must eat at McD's, which I have not darkened the doors of in over a year) And you know, what, I don't miss them. Sure, it takes some time, but it does get easier to do this woe. You just have to cut yourself a break and not put yourself in such situations until you can handle them. You CAN do this! It does get easier. Please, please, please, be nice to yourself and try not to be so negative about your efforts - you are worth it.

heykim · #13 08-06-2004, 07:48 PM

:-) yeppers... goddess doesnt sugarcoat! i LOVE that..
um... i was the queen of a certain kinda pop.. and a certain vegetable cut in strips and fried for my MAIN MEAL every EVERY nite... been doing LC since january 12... i just dont get THOSE things anymore at fast food places.. its low carb or dont go..*L*
i get salads.. i get wraps.. i get bunless burgers... i get BIG WATERS and i have to tell ya.. it wasnt easy at first... it was HARD.. but after 7 months of it.. it IS second nature.. it IS natural and i have just made NEW habits .. they have pretty much replaced some AWFUL choices and eating habits i had before...
i eat MORE now.. i like what i eat.. and dang.. if i can do it.. ANYONE can..
honestly...

newme2be · #14 08-11-2004, 03:27 PM

oh man was last week a terrible week, but since sunday i have been back on track. im kinda at induction levels but its not affecting me (headache,fatigue) like it usually does
i have been working out alot sun, mon, tue, for about an hour each day. i feel great and my 20's that were starting to feel tight are just right again this week.

i had my first are you sick comment yesterday. my aunt looked at me and said you look alot smaller today are you sick, you look sick in the eyes. and i just laughed and told her i had gotten back on plan and had been exercising alot and i was a little tired and then she proceeded to ask me if i was making myself throw-up (bulimia) i just looked at her and said absolutely not and she said well i just had to ask but i did admit to her that i have thought about it and could see how some people could actually become that way although i know without a shadow of a doubt that i will never stick my finger down my throat and (purge). i just deal with the consequences when i decided to eat a hc meal. i feel so sorry for people with eating disorders and that are so obsessed with losing weight or being thin. thats why i am so thankful for the woe and wol because you are hardly ever deprived and you can still losing weight.

newme2be · #15 08-11-2004, 03:32 PM

where is my signature it didnt show up in my last post

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