9-23-03
breakfast: 4 carbs of Atkin's cereal
2 tablespoons of heavy whipping cream mixed with water to make it look like milk on the cereal (giving myself a 1 carb)
16 oz. of English Breakfast Tea (not decaf- I'm not sucidal yet) no sweetner

Lunch: Atkin's breakfast bar at the laundrymat 2 carbs
20 oz bottle of water and a diet soda

Sort of dinner: 1/4lb. smoked beef brisket
1 cup salad with low carb dressing= 2 carbs

snacks: 2 no carb gummy bears
1 De-lite low carb chocolate bar (2carbs
3 Only cheese crackers = no carbs
Huge glass 32 oz. of watered down tea
16oz. glass of decaf Tazo Passion Tea
32 oz. water
2 Atkin's banana nut muffins (4carbs)

Roughly 14 carbs today. Gotta learn how to cook spaghetti squash. And clean out closet of old clothes. I really want to get some new clothes as encouragement for losing more weight.

Over all, not too bad a day. Wish the weather would get better, soggy, humid, and muddy. Typical Texas fall, yucky.

Always lean, alas no more. Atkin's since 09-01-03
220/201/199 yipee!! I can see the veins in my ankles again!

Drank all my water today. (patting myself on the back)
Atkin's cereal (4 carbs & watered down whipping cream)= 6 carbs
Aktin's breakfast bar for lunch = 2 carbs
2 no carb gummy bears + 3 all cheese crackers = .01 carbs
salad with low carb dressing = 4 carbs
smoked brisket = 0 carbs
hash made of smoked turkey, green pepper & onion = ?5 carbs
1 Atkin's muffin = 2 carbs

Total 19 carbs for the day.

I don't expect anyone to read this. I failed to complete my sister's resume for her today. I believe, subconsciously I don't want to finish it. If I finish it then she will not stay in contact with me anymore. I find when I do things for people that as soon as the task is completed I am left alone again.

Looking for a job and trying to stay on this diet are all I do. I'm so very tired.

Always lean, alas no more. Atkin's since 09-01-03
220/201/199 yipee!! I can see the veins in my ankles again!

I understand, I am looking for a job too (I work part time nights now) and I feel all I do is this diet. No money helps in this aspect as well!

You do not deserve to be treated like that!! Maybe you should bring up how you feel?

~Steph

Thanks Steph. I emailed my sister today and finished up her resume then sent her the copies. I don't know how my honesty will be received but I don't think I can stand being mistaken for a doormat forever.

Today's menu included:
Not 1, Not 2, But 4 Atkin's Muffins = 8 carbs! Spread throughout the day of course.

2 eggs = ~3 carbs
3 no carb gummy bears, 4 all cheese snacks (0 carbs), 1/4 of a (0 carb) chocolate Atkin's bar
1/4 beef = 0 carbs
1 cup of green beans = 5.8 digestible carbs

And my COMPLETE water ration along with several tall glasses of tea, one diet soda and a no carb partridge in a pear tree.

Total carbs for the day (drum roll) = 16.8 carbs

Always lean, alas no more. Atkin's since 09-01-03
220/201/199 yipee!! I can see the veins in my ankles again!

Hi!!

How is everything going for you???

I hope Wonderful!! Have a Great Day!!

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-..
215/180.5/160
34.5 Gone
20.5 to go!!

Well, my birthday coincided with a gem and mineral show that I was volunteered to work. I lept off the Atkin's boat with both feet. It wasn't pretty. Birthday cake with butter cream frosting (loaded with sugar), pizza, corn chips, Domino's Dots and every morning for three mornings straight I had an english muffin with butter and honey.

The first day I felt horrible. Too much sugar and I almost got sick. Then the second day I was back in the rut and HUNGRY, oh, my, gosh was I hungry. I ate a bolony and cheese sandwich on white bread. I can't believe that I at that. I haven't had bolony in decades and I never, ever eat white bread, but that was all that was offered at the volunteer booth so....

I've gotten back on the wagon as of Tues. and the headaches are back. I hope the headaches go away soon. I feel wretched. Hubby and I made a pact not to go off the diet for more than one day at any time hinceforth. The getting back on is just too hard.

Breakfast today:
1/2 cup low carb hot cereal 2 carbs with butter, splenda and cinnamon. A carb control french vanilla drink (warmed in the micro with some cinnamon) 2 carbs. Big time yummy.

lunch: 1 cup of salad with 1 carb dressing and swiss cheese (rounding up to 2 carbs)

snacks: failed here, ate 2 carbolite bars (supposedly they had only 1 carb a piece but I find that hard to believe)

dinner: 1/2 lb. brisket (told you I was hungry) with a teaspoon of Atkin's b-b-q sauce. (neglible carb)
1 cup green beans think thats about 5.8 carbs

evening snack: 1 small snack sized portion of cheddar cheese (no carbs)with decaf coffee and 1 tablespoon of heavy whipping cream.

Today's tally-- a dismal 15.2 carbs give or take a carb or two.

Don't think I drank all my water and because I've been under some stress lately I had to take a pill to sleep last night and let my jaws unhinge (I have TMJ and my jaw joints literally pop out and sometime it takes a pill and a good 10 hours of sleep to let the muscles relax to get my mouth working again.) Big down side to the pill is it makes me ravenously hungry. It is not habit forming but good Lord was I hungry. I had to practically run through the fruit isle for fear I'd grab an apple and start chowing down. I really miss fruit the most.

On the job front...not good. There were 12 openings for jobs I know I was qualified for. I did every I thought I was supposed to do: fill out the forms, visit in person to hand in a resume (put a face to the name on a long list of other names) and make a call back. Nada. All the jobs are gone. I have to believe there is some reason I haven't found a job. I don't know what it is yet. Maybe I'm mean for something else or the right job for me has yet to appear. Either way, I'm trying to be patient.

Haven't weighed myself this week, after a crazy weekend I'll admit I'm afraid to.

Always lean, alas no more. Atkin's since 09-01-03
220/201/199 yipee!! I can see the veins in my ankles again!

First time in a long while the weather was pleasant enough to leave the windows open. It was lovely.

I find myself so tired though. I feel run down and droopy. I don't what to attribute it to. I have these awful headaches. I think they are sinus related, but most days now it is a chore just to rise from the bed and after a few things done I'm too weary to continue. I literally am ready to go back to bed and I sleep like the dead.

I ate a breakfast of 4 carbs
Atkin's hot cereal and 1 Atkin's breakfast bar (maybe that is cheating, not feeling full after just the cereal but I didn't have the willpower to stop.)

Lunch came late in the day
1/2 chicken with a tsp. of Atkin's BBQ sauce
1 Carbolite bar supposedly no carbs
1 snack size cheese

Dinner was three cups of salad with 2tbs dressing (forgot the carb count on salad but know the dressing was 2 carbs)

Snacks:
1 snack sized cheese
2 Atkin's banana nut muffins with butter (Those muffins are out of this world good.)

I don't know if I kept it under 20 carbs today. I ate four antiacids without thinking and found out that was 8 carbs! Yikees!

That's been another problem, acid reflux. I've really had a time of it since I started the diet. I had my gallbladder removed some 10 yrs ago now and have had acid reflux worse when I eat fatty foods. I have tried to not eat those foods that trigger the reflux, take over the counter medication and sleep practically sitting up but nothing seems to do much good.

I have an art contest to go to on Sat., the first one of this year and the first I've been to in many, many months. I'm not exactly pleased with my entries but I already paid my money so, I'll take what I have and go. I want to do more artwork. I did some beautiful pictures last year but this year I am lacking something. I had some false friends who took the wind out of my sails. I can't change my circumstances, I can only change myself.

This diet and looking for work (as I've said before, moan, moan, moan) seem to eat up all my creativity. And if I have to clean that grimy kitchen up one more time after my husband cooks pork I think I'll roast him. He has to be less greasy. Is there some gene on the Y chromosome that makes men immune to seeing dirt, grease and filth? My poor husband suffers from the 'pig-house' complex, he doesn't cover up his food, he doesn't clean counters except with a damp paper towel, he doesn't ever lift a pan to clean the stove top and he has no concept of the floor. I'd swear if he were knee deep in grease he wouldn't notice. UGH!!!

That's my novel for today.

Always lean, alas no more. Atkin's since 09-01-03
220/201/199 yipee!! I can see the veins in my ankles again!