:fork: I just got done eating breakfast. Nothing new really for me. Cheese omlette and sausage. But now I am on a "diet". My favorite thing on the weekends to eat has always been breakfast. Before LCE I didn't really eat breakfast during the week. Instead I gorged at lunch. Now I do eat breakfast during the week but save the omlettes for the weekend. And I am no longer a member of the clean plate club, which is great. I can walk away with food still on the plate. I'm not that picky if it's enough I can always throw some saran wrap over it and heat it up later instead of finishing what I wasn't really hungry enough to eat.

I feel like I should have done this a long time ago. LCE. But until recently I haven't really had the motivation or desire. Of course the desire to be thinner was always there but not the desire to get off my butt and do something.

Yesterday I looked on the ups website and saw my package was definitely on the truck and heading for me. The scale I've been so patiently (ok not that patiently) waiting for. Well, usually our ups deliveries happen by about 2pm, as I was getting the package at work. But 2 came and went and then 4 came and went (the time I usually go home). Well, I thought, I can't wait all weekend to get this. It's a holiday and I was anxious to see if the first six pounds were a fluke or not. Really long story short, I left, went back and waited until five to seven when it finally got there. The driver and screwed up but he made it.

So now the good, no, great news. I weighed myself last night as soon as I could get the scale out of the box and it read 5 pounds lighter. :jump: Woo hoo! First of course I had to go through a scare where I didn't have it zeroed out and it only read two pounds lighter, which I was upset about since this week I had actually gotten out to exercise and I'm still in the "at the beginning lose more then even out to a pound or two a week stage".

So good for me. I will reward myself with a long walk this afternoon when the baby gets up from his nap. I think I'll walk to the store and buy a peach. I haven't had one in so long.

I talked to my mom last night and explained my new WOE. I told her I had not eaten so many veggies for quite some time. And fruit, well I would eat a banana every once in a while but now I usually eat strawberries or blueberries one a day. I told her I was even a member of the 5-a-day club. She seemed very happy for me, no negativity or questioning my choices. I love my mom. Now I just wish I could get her on some sort of program. Maybe when she sees how well I do she'll join me. She is also quite heavy but doesn't eat very much, just the wrong stuff. I wish she would move to the same city as me. My aunt has wanted her to move here since my stepfather dies but mom just doesn't want to quite yet. But some day she will.

Here's a random thought. Have you ever felt, when you are losing weight, like you look like your gaining? Even when the clothes are bigger and you know you have. I feel that way right now. But when I look back to when I have lost before I feel the same way. I think it's because I tend to lose in my shoulders first and down through my chest so the rest of my still seems bigger as the top grows smaller. I'm just a pear. I always have been. I think also I got too use to large breasts when I was breastfeeding. When I would get full of milk I'd shot up to a DDD, where normally I'm a D. So that makes a big difference when I look down. I'm feeling a litle deflated to say the least.

OK. Enough rambling. Time to read other peoples thoughts.

Five pounds. Yea!

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

What a great way to celebrate those 5 lbs gone!!! Have you thought about what you are going to do when you get to say 20 lbs gone or 25 gone? I bought a new outfit at 20, at 50 I got a massage--Sweedish massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. At my goal 100 I am going to buy a new wardrobe. I treat each milestone with a something new! Usually around 10 lbs I do something new--at 60 (last weekend) I bought a new shirt to go with my favorite pair of capris! Think about a reward for yourself anyway. . .I changed my hair at 30! I can't remember all the things, but it is fun and none of them have been anything to eat!!!! Used to be every reward was going out to eat!

Anyway, enough of my ramblings and suggestions. . .enjoy the new you--trust this way of eating and enjoy each success!

__________________
Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

Oh my. I just did my fitday carb count for yesterday. No tgood. The day before , great. I'm glad I joined fitday.com, now I can keep track much better. My big thing was I thought I was eating a piece of 11 carb bread and that it would fit in to my plan for the day. But oh no it was much higher. I just hadn't looked at the package right.

I've learned my lesson. I'm still doing more the Curves diet because I haven't finished reading the Atkins book. I should be doing that now. But it's easier to be online at night when the baby is asleep. Or he wants to sit in my lap and play with the keyboard.

Tomorrow I'm going to go grocery shopping. I haven't found the low carb wraps yet. I guess I'll have to look harder. I think I'll stay away from the bread right now.

Oh well, I guess I can stumble without falling completely.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

I forgot I was going to add the answer to what I am going to do once I get to a significant loss. At 20 pounds I think I'll get a pedicure. I've actually never had one. I was going to last year after I had the baby but never got around to it. Maybe every 20 pounds that can be a treat. Then I'm going to wait until I get to a size 24 then go shopping. I have so many clothes that are too small in a box that I'll pull out in a few months but it'll feel good to buy something new. It's been a while. And at a 24 I can shop at a discount place and get more. Where I have to shop now is so darn expensive.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Hi Cushie, I thought I would pop in here and introduce myself. Our stats are sooo close its like we are definitely in the same boat. I want to wish you the best of luck on your weight loss journey and let you know if I can be of any help to you just let me know. Maybe we can help each other. Good luck and God bless! Anita

Thanks for the offer Anita. I noticed you last night when I was reading other posts and thought the same thing.


I've got my tennis shoes on, I'm ready to go, the baby is sleeping :( I guess I'll just have to wait for our walk this morning. I have learned never wake a sleeping baby unless absolutely necessary.

Today I'm going to try and walk to one of the further away parks. Even if I just walk there and rest and walk back. I feel good and think I can.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

I just got done cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming and doing a load of laundry, and I stil have energy to burn. :jumpgreen I'm done cleaning and ready to go out for the day but baby is napping. It may seem like baby is always napping but that's the only time I can write in this thing. Otherwise baby likes to type too.

My ex IM'd me today. Oh he just makes me so mad. He wanted to come over. Which I said was fine as long as he stops lying to me and tells the truth to his other ex. (Long story short, he won't tell her he is the father of my child, she also has a child by him, a daughter.) The last time he was over I asked him some relevant questions while he was standing in the doorway and he wouldn't answer, actually got smart about it and so I shut the door in his face. The baby was already asleep, it was late and he had no business coming by. He doesn't come to see his son but rather to see if he can use me some more. What an ass! So now he says he'll tell me everything and talk to the ex (maybe it shouldn't matter so much but it does) but only if he can stay overnight. What does that have to do with seeing your child? If he knew I was on a program he'd try and sabotage me. He likes his women with low self esteem and thinking he is the best thing they can get. Well, for a long time I believed that, but I have finally come to my senses and haven't fallen for his lines in a very long time.

Oh that felt good getting that all out.

I talked to my mom last night and we discussing LCE. I don't remember if I mentioned it in this but she has gotten quite large in the last few years. She always had a weight problem when I was growing up (though very svelt before she was married) but it's gotten worse. I told her how I was loving this and she said "well, maybe when you get really into it I can come and live with you and eat the way you do". I told her come on down! She is the one person closest to me I feared might believe the negative hype. But she also has a very open way of thinking and reads a lot so she wouldn't listen to all the garbage.

I just got back the photos from my son's first birthday party. Ugh, not good. Why did I wear that dress? It was far too tight over my upper belly. I will definitely have some good before pictures as they were taken just two days before I started this WOE. I've actually been fantasizing about buying new clothes. When I'm down to a size 24 I'm going shopping. I know some people may think "down to a 24?" well when you start out at a 34 that's a big deal. Of course I'm not going to spend too much since those clothes will be too big eventually too. I try and think positively.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Today I'm blue. I don't know if it's becasue I didn't get enough sleep or if it's something I ate, but I am just BLAH. Even my face feels droopy. The baby woke up at 5am today, I guess he went to bed too early. But hten he went back to sleep by about 5:30, I tried to get back to sleep but it took me an hour so I just slept another hour which probably made it worse but I was SO tired.


Then this morning I got a note that my dishwasher was leaking into the neighbors townhome. Ugh! I thought it was just a seal on the door but it's much more. So I called the landlord and he didn't want to fix it. He went on and on about how I was getting such a great bargin and he wasn't making much money. Well, I know he was right baout not making much money, the rental market is really in a slump, and I did get a great deal. I offered to sign a new lease and have him raise my rent a little to compensate for a new D/W. Well, finally after consulting with someone he's agreed to do that and so I get a new D/W. But not after making me think I was going to have to move because I was so annoyed. I am the type of person that acts without thinking and it's gotten me into more trouble than I care to remember.

I've been reading people's posts in Journals and elsewhere here about what being heavy has taken from them and embarassing moments and such. This caused me to have a flashback to so many things in the past. Sort of like a bad soap opera sequence. There are so many places I don't fit anymore. But I remember even as a teen being sqeezed into a ride at the state fair and the attendant thinking my jacket had gotten stock, but it was just my belly, so when he slammed down the cage I sucked it in and was uncomfortable for the whole ride. That's the first "couldn't fit" moment I can remember. I don't even care if I'm thin anymore, I just want to be able to sit in a booth, airplane seat, movie seat, car, lawn chair, etc. One night I was out dancing about three years ago. I ran into a girl I knew. As I was dancing I saw her talking to a guy. She then informed me that he had been poking fun at me and she reamed him out (she was great and a model, tall thin and beautiful). That was the last time I went dancing. You can say, don't let it get to you over and over but unless you are made of stone it has to after a while.

Where did I go wrong? My friend Nancy told me she was looking back at her school card from 1st grade and saw she weighed 80 lbs. She was shocked. You know I have no idea what I weighed in first grade. I know by at least 5th grade I was shopping in the women's stores and by 8th grade I had to have a dress made for me for jr high graduation because all the women's store dresses were too "old maid" looking for a 13 year old. I was a size 24 then I think. When we got a Lane Bryant catalog I thought it was my savior. I could order better, younger looking clothing. Then there came a LB store to my hometown and so when I went to college I was able to dress the part of a smart, young college girl. But I still can't remember where the weight all started. I blocked out a good chunk of my childhood. Not for any tragic reason I can remember (I guess that would be the blocking) but I just don't know when I hit 100 pounds or 200 pounds or even 300 pounds, just all the sudden I was there. 5'11 1/2" and 311 lbs at 14. I don't knwo what I have to do to keep my son from going down my same path but whatever it is I will try. I just hope instead of the fat gene he got the skinny gene from his father. Of course you can't starve a child and I would never put him on a diet while he is young. But I can promote healthy eating. This is something that haunts me far too often and he's only a year old.

I hate days like this. When I'm BLAH I think of far too many negative things. I haven't been this tired in the afternoon since I started LCE. I'll examine what I ate yesterday as well as get some sleep tonight. I think I'll go to bed with the baby at 8.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Aw Noel it sounds like you are having a bad day. You know I have analized myself to death and it still hasn't changed anything. It really doesn't matter when it happened or even why it happened. That is all in the past. Lets look ahead to a brighter day when we are healthy and happy once again. Come on we can do it. Get some sleep and know that I am here sending you happy thoughts and tomorrow will be a much better day. Hugs to you... Anita

PS. I can't believe this, unless you have grown taller we are even the same height liking 1/4 inch. haha I am 5' 11" 3/4 . Just thought I would share that!

Hope you are having a better day today. You can do this. We know you can. As taxgirl said, keep looking ahead to a brighter future. Brighter for you and your sweet little son. You can do this for both of you. We are all here for you!

__________________
Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130

Thank you, I'm feeling much better today. I went out for an evening walk and I got a good nights sleep. Seeing my son also cheers me up.

Yesterday I was eating macadamia nuts for a snack. I had read about them first in the Atkins book. Then saw more about them on line. So I got some. Well, I went overboard. I ate so many I didn't feel like eating anything else. I couldn't even finish a single breast of chicken I had made last night with my new George Foreman grill (a perfect gift I just got). My feet were also swollen from the salt. And the fiber has also kept me busy. Ugh! I'll never do that again.

The lady that told me not to congratulate myself about losing weight and was skeptical about LCE asked me if I had lsot last week. I said "yep, another five pounds!" Suggest is the best come back for someone like that. I wanted to add "...and I congratulated myself by taking a long walk with the baby" but I refrained. I can't wait to get into some of my too small clothes that will really show off what I've accomplished. Right now I am just happy that some things are beginning to fit right again. The other woman here mentioned Tuesday that she could tell in the outfit I had on that I was losing. Now to keep it up.

It's funny, even my face feels happier today, you know yesterday I was droopy. Now I am smiley. What a difference a day makes.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

So glad to hear you are feeling better. I know what you mean about the macadamias. They are so good it is very easy to eat too many of them. Oh well..just think...at least it was nuts and not hershey kisses, right??

__________________
Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130

I soooooo LOVE the macadamias! WalMart sells the Mauna Loa brand for $4.88/can. I've never found them any cheaper anywhere else. I like to keep a can in my work van and eat 10-12 for my "A.M. Snack" which is between 10:30 and 11:00 or my "P.M. Snack" which is on the drive back, usually around 4-4:30. They are lowcarb, have a good amount of fiber, which Noel is finding out! LOL! And they are hunger suppressors, at least for me. I used to eat the chocolate covered ones before I started l/cing. I wish there was a sugar alcohol that didn't make me sick so I could have some lowcarb chocolate covered macadamias!

__________________

I'm seeing RED today. The ex came by last night. Of course he waited until after 9 when he knew the baby would be asleep. I said why do you come so late? You don't want to see him. I gave him the photo of him and the baby from one of the last times he was over and guess what...it was on my car this morning. WHAT A %#&$ *^&@!!!!! Well, I'm actually glad he's out of our lives. I even told the ex that there were a lot of people with children together that didn't get along but were cordial to each other for the sake of the children. He said maybe in your world. Hello, I don't want to be with you, you lazy, good for nothing, lying, cheating SOB. What about your other child? By his logic he'd pick a child based on picking a girlfriend. Which is about as brilliant as he did before, picking a girlfriend based on her income and how willing she was to take care of him.

But I survived. And without eating the two Symphony bars I had left over from the baby's birthday party. And they're my favorite. I am such an emotional eater most of the time. Which is why I am so huge. I'm always so emotional! When I would get upset I would go to McD's or Taco bell and order value meals with sodas just so it would seem like I was buying food for other people.

No more though. I am going to be healthy and exercise my anger away. :jumpgreen When I get more in shape so that I don't collapse while trying I'd like to take a kickboxing or karate class. Hi-ya. Punch that anger out.

Today is my birthday luncheon. When asked what I wanted I said broccoli with beef, I think that'll be good. We also got many other things I can't eat. Things I love. Argh! I did lower carb yesterday, only 15 in preparation. This weekend I'm also going to go lower to kick my body back into ketosis if I get out. I can tell by the taste I wake up with in the morning whether I'm in good ketosis or not. I wish I had saved all those strips from when I was on the protien shake diet years ago.

Oh no, now I am fantasizing about what I looked like back then with the help of phen/fen. It happened so fast and this is going to take time. I know many people wish they could just go *poof* the weight is gone and I'm one of them. But I know it's better to do it right. I could easily get diet pills from my doctor. He told me so the last time I was in to see him. That's when I first saw 388 on the scale. But I can't be on diet pills the rest of my life. I think if we've learned anything from phen/fen it's that short cuts don't work in the long run. But it's still nice to remember being in a size 18 top and 20 bottom. It's incentive I guess.

I've got an idea, I'm going to make a new commitment. Now that I am doing better I am going to start doing aerobics at home after the baby is in bed. I know it woul d be better to do them in the morning but I hate getting up early. If I do them as soon as I put DS to bed at 8 then I can do 20 mintues and relax for an hour before bed. Eventually I'll work up to the hour. I use to do this tape years ago and like it because it breaks up the routine into three 20 minute segments to do together or seperately. This should help with the loose skin issue as well. It won't eliminate it but it will make it better than without.

And this weekend I'll get a tape measure so I can document more accurately my progress. And take some pictures in my unitard. I'm not looking forward to that. But on a very happy note. My 32W's are getting looser. I squeezed intot them when I first started this. I was really a 34W. Now to get them bigger yet.

Starting to think about ex again. Grrrr.

Just breathe.

__________________
Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Is today your birthday? If so, have a happy one! Don't think of the ex...except how much better off you will be without him! Have a great weekend! Congrats on not eating the Symphony bars! Every success adds up......

__________________
Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130