:fork: Well, I've finally decided to do it. Get serious about my lifetime problem with food and weight. I've deided to journal about my feelings and experiences so I can track myself along the way.

Last year I had my first and only child. It was the biggest event of my life and changed me more than I ever thought possible. Suddenly I have to do everything for this little person. With no help from the what I like to call "donor" (a nicer term than "jackass that promised me the world but delivered nothing but pain") I have experienced a tremendous amount of stress but have gotten through it with flying colors and an extremely happy baby.

About four months ago I got on the scale for the first time since my post-partum checkup. I knew I had gained weight since giving birth but to my horror I was inching very close to the 400 mark. :crying: My knees were aching and my back hurt so badly that I could barely pick up the baby. At 388 I was the heaviest I had ever been. (Of course in the mean time I gained two more pounds.) Thank God the doctor had a scale that went up that high so I could get this kick in the butt. I had gained forty pounds since having the baby and it was awful.

Now I have been fat all my life. As a freshman I weighed 311 at the doctor's and that is when I first topped 300. I won't go into the years of failing at every diet from the get go but suffice it to say I have been through them all.

This time I have someone other to think of besides myself. I know I should do it all for me but wanting to be there for my son long into his adulthood is a great motivator. So now that I am done breastfeeding I am ready to make a change.

I started the Curves diet after going to the library and looking through several books. (Atkins-all copies-except the old school version-was gone) But I like the curves program. I was going to stick to it by the book but haven't exactly. Though things are going well so far.

Right now it's my TOM and I don't have a scale yet (it's coming in the mail, hard to find an affordable large capacity scale) but when I weighed last I had lost 6lbs. I am hoping that when TOM is done it turns out to be more since I weighed on the first day. (I know that's a no-no but I had already driven to the doctors to weigh when I realized after I had started.)

I know I can do it, without pills or quick fixes. This will be a great lifestyle change.

:great:

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Cushie- good for you! I am so happy to know that you view this WOE as a lifestyle and not a diet. Alot of us here have had some really crappy stuff happen to us, too. I am not saying that to diminish what you've gone through, just to let you know you're not alone.

Your child will be in school before you know it. Mine is in first grade and I had "promised" myself that I would lose the weight BEFORE she started school. I didn't. I attended a meeting at her school the other evening and I realize I am not the only overweight parent there, but I don't want to be overweight anyway! My mom was (and I guess is now) always overweight and my sister and I always got teased about it. We'd cry and she'd blow us off. I vowed when I had my daughter that I would not let that happen to her. It hasn't started yet, but I fear as she gets older, it will start. "Yo Mama's so fat, she irons her jeans in the driveway!" I hate that crap. I love my girl and I don't want to be the cause of her unhappiness.

Hey, I didn't mean to journal in your journal! I'm just saying, if you need just one more incentive to lose the weight, and I KNOW you can, think of your child. We never want to see pain on their little faces, and certainly not because of us. Hugs to you, Cushie.

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Maxibee, I don't mind you journaling in my journal.

I too remember in school my mom being overweight. For me it was when I was in high school and my mom coming and the kids seeing her and then saying "I guess we know where she gets it" and I weighed more than her at the time. Never mind that their moms may have been fat but mine was the butt of the joke that day. I do want to spare my child from the "your momma's so fat..." jokes, but moreover I want to be there when he graduates!

Today I was putting my hard boiled eggs in the fridge at work when I co-worker asked me about them. (I sometimes rush out of the house without eating so I keep a generous supply here for breakfast thoughout the week.) I told her I was on a new low carb WOE and she had quite a bit to say. Never mind the 6 pounds I told her I had lost she felt the need to lecture me on what kinds of foods I should be eating and that a calorie is a calorie and so on. I told her that for the first time in a long time I was full of energy and not lethargic after lunch (which usually consisted of some sort of pasta dish). I also explained the large number of vegtables I have been incoropating into my daily routine. She still seemed skeptical. I guess people just don't trust the LCE. They must think we are all just gorging on meat, meat, meat with no veggies or common sense. Maybe some people are but I'm really trying here to balance my food intake and get in my low carb veggies and I now am thinking, "do I even tell people about the plan I'm on?"

I guess I'm not going to let anyone tell me what I am doing is no good so I will defend this WOE until people understand or accept that I am doing what is best for me.

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

I just smile and say, "I've got the paperwork on my cholesterol levels to prove it's healthy" or, "don't knock it 'til you've tried it". Another good one is "my doctor put me on it, and gave me an article from the American Journal of Medicine about how lowcarb really is the best way to lose weight and become healthy." If they want to see the article, bring them a book instead.

Some people just don't want to see others succeed. Actions do speak louder than words, so just SHOW them you are right by staying on this WOE and losing the weight.

You can ALWAYS come here to vent.....never let 'em see you sweat!

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I had a show down with the cookie demons today. I have always been one to easily give into temptation. Today I was alone at work for a very long time and felt the cookie demons in the fridge calling to me. Now these weren't any ordinary cookie demons but special Russell Stovers cookie demons that I had made the acquaintance of many months ago for the first time.

Rich cookie demons with a song as sweet as Heaven calling to me like some mystic siren. The songs were so strong that I actually went to the copy room and opened the freezer door several times telling myself "it's ok if you ust have one". But there is never just one with me and these cookie demons. They always travel in at least pairs and sometimes in triplicate. Seeing that they are the supersized 4" large cookie demons it's hard to imagine what they contain when it comes to carbs. Many more than I am suppose to have in a week, let alone a day if I was to begin my endless good time with them until they were gone. Who would notice? Only one other person even knew they were there.

The mailman had brought them as usual, his route takes him into the Rusell Stover store where they force these decedent treats on him which he selflessly brings to us. Can I just tell you I had never known a cookie demon could be so inviting until I firsttasted these. Warm and chewy from being in the bag and left in the hot truck warmed by the sun. The bags were always filled with at least 6 and sometimes as many as 10 of these cookie demons. And today, today I was trapped alone with them. Sure they had been hiding in the freezer, but a minute in the microwave would bring them back to life.

I had had a good lunch. A large salad with these great low carb breaded chicken nuggets I had come stumbled across in my quest to find great tasting low carb food by going to two seperate major grocery chains. They had saved me many times when my co-workers had gone to Popeyes and the smell of fried chicken filled the air. Of course the elder spokewoman of the group would always proclaim "we're eating low carb" while chomping down endless pieces of extra crispy with coleslaw and beans and rice. I never questioned her, let her live the fantasy.

At any rate I was completely satisfied with my meal. I had not been tempted since the first week and though I have just started, I have been doing so well.

So back and forth I went. I tried eating a hard boiled egg. Perhaps I didn't fill up I thought. Well the egg filled me but the temptation was still there. I knew it was time to go soon and I fought my way through the last hour when I got the call. Could I stay a while longer? The bosses were delayed. Oh cruel cookie demons why must you toy with me so!

At last the work day came to a close and I was able to leave that place. The cookie demons stayed tucked away in the freezer and I was able to walk away feeling a sense of accomplishment. Even if it was only that I had not eaten a cookie. And I can honestly say I am very proud of myself.

Now we'll see tomorrow about those candy bars the office manager keeps on MY computer desk for the mailman. I think they will be finding a new home.

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

hey... good lord just READING your post made me drool and i dont even LIKE the "c" word devils!
ya done good LADY! keep up the great work...(find homes for ALL of the devil things... NO temptation is easier than fighting it.. CLEAR the area... dont have things that DO tempt you if you can help it..
at home i have lower DARK cabinets that hold things that hubby may eat that i wont.. or stuff daughter has for grandkids here.. or other daughter has..
its dark.. its hidden... and i dont even THINK about those lower cupboards.. they are NOT for me..
hang in... you will succeed!

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

Noel, just think about how fast that cookie will be gone, and how long you will regret it later. You don't want those people at the office saying "yeah, so much for the low-carb thing....she caved!" View ANYTHING made with sugar like it's poison. Try to imagine the insulin spike and the fat storage....that's enough to ruin your appetite right there!

Oh, and congrats on hanging tough! That's the first of many battles to be won. I work with the crap every day, so I've had to be way over that by now. I'm tempted by stuff like breading on chops or gravy, etc!! LOL!

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Hey...I noticed you said that you and only one other person knew they were there. Why dontcha just throw them away...no one will know, and they won't be there to tempt you anymore!

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Cindi

232/187.5 (WW)/202/195---November 1 Goal
232/202/175---major goal by January 2, 2006 (my birthday)
232/202/125---final goal???

Romans 5:3 "...We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance"

So, I've been thinking, I started this whole low carb thing with the Curves diet. I picked that one after sitting in the library reading books and basically wanted one that would tell me what to eat and I liked the book. It was easy to read I guess. But now after being on line here I decided to go back and look at the Atkins diets more closely. They were out of the Atkins for Life book so I picked up the Atkins New Diet Revolution. I did this because honestly I had thought I would lose more weight the first couple weeks. And I wanted to know how differeny the diets were. Now I lost 6 pounds in ten days, which is still pretty good. I know I am being too hard on myslef, especially since when I finally got to the doctors to weigh myself aunt Flo was knocking on my door and that night TOM was here. But still I thought just in case I'm not doing this right let's see what Atkins says. So I started the book when I got home or course the baby didn't like that so I put it away until he went to bed. So I kept reading and of course by the time I was too tired to carry on I found out something interesting. By modifying the Curves diet (I wasn't really into all that they had planned for the first two weeks) I had pretty much been following the Atkins plan. There was one big difference and it wasn't earth shattering or anything but I had eaten 4-5 strawberries on various days. I still kept under my 20 carb grams though. So now instead of going through a second induction period I will just switch everything.

This week I feel like I have lost inches. I shouldn't say I feel like, I KNOW I have. Especially today when I look down at my formerly popped out belly and now though still large doesn't have the same shape. TOM really messed me up with it starting during my second week. Since having the baby a year and some weeks ago this is only the second TOM because I was nursing so I'm not on a regular schedule. I had no idea it was the start day when I weighed myself. Well soon enough I will have my scale. I had to order a large capacity scale from amazon.com, I got a pretty good deal too. Anyhow it'll be here Friday so I can know if I am on track or not. And as I keep telling myself I need to get into my sewing boxes and find that tape measure. I only wish I had measured from the beginning. I guess my tight fitting clothes did that for me.

Exercise is my next hurdle. I went for a walk twice this weekend, but during the week I am still having a hard time motivating. I have more energy so I need to put it to good use. My goal is right now to get out for at least three walks a week, preferably four but I'm going to set a goal of three and if I do better then great. After a sedentary year it will feel good to get out and about again. And I'm starting the sit ups. After my c-section last year I swore when I could I'd start, then my back went out and this and that excuse. So now no more excuses. I need to get those muscles worked.

I think I can, I think I can...I know I can, I know I can!

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

I know you can too!!

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Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130

You really have a great attitude Noel! Keep up the willpower, the choices will get easier with food...one day at a time!

You can! You can!

I started walking (again) on Monday, and I had trouble keeping pace. Today, only 72 hours later, I walked an hour without being winded. Walking definitely gets easier as you go.

Just start with whatever you can do - I'm amazed that on Monday I could barely get through 15 minutes, and today I did 5 miles. Do as much as you can - and just keep doing it.

You can do it!!!!

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Tina

Argh! I wrote a whole journal entry then hit a random key and the whole thing disappeared. Oh well guess I have to start all over again.



I was shopping yesterday and for the first time reading the backs of various things in the grocery store. I was looking at items that I had eaten freely before this WOE and was shocked by the carb content of most of them. Things the mainstream says to eat because they are good ?diet foods? or are ?low fat?. Things like yogurt and tortillas. I use to eat a yogurt almost everyday thinking it was a good thing to eat. But at 29 grams of carbs?not so good now. Or tortillas, how can something so thin have 25 grams of carbs, more even than a piece of bread! Well, I guess I learned a few things. I can see how people can eat 300 carbs or more in a day.



A lady in my office told me today she could tell I was losing weight, especially in my stomach. I said ?yeah my stomach on top of my stomach is gone?. I?m such an antsy person. I can?t wait to weigh myself and see what the scale says. I know I shouldn?t rely on it and her saying something is better than any scale could do as far as reinforcing that I am doing well, but you know we?ve been trained to look at the numbers. Of course TOM is still here. I can?t believe it, it never lasts this long. I guess it?s catching up with me for not having it for 20 months while pregnant and breastfeeding. But it?s almost gone. If I get the scale tomorrow I?ll try and wait until Saturday morning to weigh and post and hopefully TOM should be gone completely by then.



I?m still getting unsolicited dieting advice from people in the office. Today it was from a well meaning but very noisy woman. But her style of speaking to her friends and children and grandchildren has always amazed me. When I said the baby wasn?t walking she says it?s because he?s lazy. But then tells me her kids didn?t walk until they were 15 months. She is always judging and I when I ate a lot of carbs I was tired all the time and she would get after me for not doing more but I am a single mom and she didn?t have to work until her children where grown. Now I have energy and am doing more and I feel good but it?s never enough for some people. I know I shouldn?t let it bother me. She?s just ?that way? a typical yenta (as she would say). Oh, she means well but I just wasn?t brought up with those kinds of things said. And in most ways the she and the whole family have been more than kind (they all work at my office, own it actually). The have done so much for me personally. Am I rude to complain? Maybe. But that?s what journaling is all about, venting.

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

YOu can, you can, you can!!!!! Shoot for 3 days a week with the exercise--simply putting the baby in the stroller and pushing it as far as you can or around and around the block--if as far as you can is 3 blocks on Tuesday, try for 4 on Thursday and if you get that shoot for 5 on Saturday--Sunday is cook and get ready for the week day--I chop veggies, boil eggs, fry meat for lunches, you name it to get ready so I don't have to do it all week! That is work and exercise in itself! Monday is the day I can never get myself motivated to work out and often it is a holiday so I leave it off as a planned day! Keep going--don't those compliments feel wonderful!!!!!

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Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

Vent away, Noel! And, when your marvelous weight loss is more noticable, that crabby old woman will have to shut up. Just stick to this and don't let her "win"! HUG!!

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