Thread: Taking a New Path

I think I need a journal to keep track of how I am doing. Started a list of the good stuff I was doing for me and next thing you know I am on the chocolate roller coaster and beyond. I am going to delegate the shopping responsibilities for a bit (or go with reinforcments). I start with high expectations, hoping to start that new life and yes, I am starting new but my initial expectations that I would be the Atkins Poster Child and dive flawlessly into a healthier way of life.Well...
I am happy that I am 7 lbs. down from my start weight.

I am proud that:

• I handled the conflict within my family about Mom looking at taking care of Mom (it's sure to continue but was not as bad as previous conflicts)
• I have found a good thing to do for myself each day
• I struggled with but am heading into a REASONABLE SCHEDULE
• I DID NOT bother to degrade myself about not following the perfect plan but I sure know I want to make better choices about my eating
• I am not stopping
• I took time to dream. I didn't realize how much I reigned in my dreams because I was just too (fat? untalented? undeserving?)
• I spent more quality time with my kids because i was feeling better!
• I ventured outside my comfort zone

My disappointing moment:

• the look in my son's eyes when I started a binge...he liked that he saw chocolate but when he saw me scarf those malted milk balls he knew this was not having a treat, he asked what was wrong...

My plan:

• Back on LC track...damn, it's so hard unraveling this unhealthy food use but going through that initial craving /withdrawal period from the sugar again is just *#@&!!!

• DON'T GET TOO STRESSED OR TOO TIRED!

A goal for this week 10/17-10/23: Take my measurements! (without going on a wild binge afterwards because of the shock) And accept them.

Question- How long does it take for a good habit to kick in?

I guess journaling day 1 didn't hurt too bad...Janet out.

So far so good today. Filling in at the school lunch room probably wasn't the greatest place to be but all o.k. So tired today. Maybe I can actually find that tape measure today. Half a day left to go, let's see what developes.

Found myself in a strange situation last night (tonight?, I can't sleep). Am I my mother? Curious food thoughts (didn't this happen this strongly just a few weeks ago?) FOOD=LOVE, LOVE=FOOD. ??? Focus in our family has to head away from that I love you, I made you a treat. I have to let go of that particular mother energy...she was always so worried we wouldn't know she loved us. Not great eating for me tonight, but I nice family time. I am more calm when I eat LC. I am going to let go of this food/love crud. I gotta talk to ma about this, I guess at least I know she'll listen now. I'd like to hug her again and say (----------------------)Sad Night.

Note: sad or whatever, feeling the feelings is better than stuffing down emotions with food. Touch'e. Onward......................

Tomorrow: Starting to get organized! Preparing for the tough times.

sorry ya cant sleep janet...
neither can i...
its past 2 am... and still... i am drinking water...*L*