Thread: Carrie Elizabeth's Journal!

I was reading through your journal (and I should be working...who else hangs out on LCE when she's at work?), and you sound really discouraged! I wanted to recommend that you go to the Women's Forum and read a little bit about problems other people are having with breakthrough bleeding and stuff with their TOM now that they eat LC (SO weird to discuss this with a complete stranger!). It sounds like it is an issue a lot of women have, although I have not yet. Of course, I have also been really off of LC lately and am just getting back on, so who knows what will happen?

Anyway, I was enjoying your ramblings...and I hear you on the BF thing! I am a little older than you (will be 28 next week), and I have been with my BF almost 4 years, and sometimes I get so aggravated with him! And I also go through the whole "Is he the One?" thing from time to time. I am hoping for a ring by Christmas. If not, after 4 1/2 year (at that point), I may be moving on. Yikes...don't want to think about it.

Anyhoo...you work out a lot! Remember the whole muscle-weighs-more-than-fat thing! I wish I had more time to get to the gym, but I am working about 50 hours a week and also going to school, so my down time is not-so-much.

Keep your chin up!

Carrie,

Hope everthing goes well at the doctors!

One thing (and please let me know if I'm out of bounds here) is it possible that your BF is not asking you about your meds b/c he's nervous or doesn't understand what the meds did or why you were taking them? In my experience, guys are basically knuckle-heads when it comes to emotional "can't see, can't touch" type issues.

Just my 2 cents

Carrie,

How are you?

ok, i have calmed down after losing my post TWICE yesterday!
yesterday was OK. a little depressed in the morning, so sick of my job, BF was on my last nerve! i just need to get my anxiety medication out of my system ... i know that transitioning off of it is what's making me feel sad (well, at least i THINK that's it).
was SO annoyed w/ BF yesterday b/c he is crying the blues about having no $ - but he blew it all in vegas. and i'm upset b/c we never DO anything anymore. it's just like i go over to his place after the gym and we go to sleep. i miss dates. we don't need to spend any $ - just get creative. he doesn't seem to get that. we tried to talk about it yesterday (i had to say something b/c i am getting BORED w/ us, feels like the spark is gone) ....
well he came through - told me to expect a delivery around 9:30 PM. he called around that time and told me to check to see if the "delivery" had arrived. i went out to my front porch (while talking to him on cell phone) and there was the most beautiful dozen of red and pink roses i've ever seen! then he popped out from around the side of my house. ahhhh, how sweet. there was a card thanking me for driving him and the boys to the airport, etc.
then he gave me a back and foot (yes, my FAVORITE) rub!!!! so i guess he's starting to understand that i still want some romance once in a while!

i'm meeting girlfriends for dinner tonite and then going to a concert w/ college friends on saturday. i just feel like i have to force myself to be around them, i don't want to feel so lonely anymore. even though going to the gym and then staying on the couch is really what i feel like doing every nite. :(

worked out last nite - 45 mins hard cardio and then that yoga class i'm taking at the park district. i've decided i don't like it. it's more of a "spiritual" class than a physical challenge. may not go next week.

still trying to eat induction style - tested for ketosis and it was so lite, i couldn't tell. ugggh. then i ate an advantage bar for breakfast, not good. blah. weighed the same today as yesterday. today's food:
B: bar, coffee w/ cream
S: cream cheese and celery?
L: chicken sausages and salad
D: going to champs w/ the girls, will probably get a burger? no alcohol. trying to wait til i'm at least back in ketosis ....

this is getting kinda long - but i've been dealing w/ some really strange feelings lately - and could use some advice.
as i've mentioned, i live w/ my ex ... he's a GREAT guy. he has some issues that prevented us from being together. lately i've been really thinking about him a lot. wondering if i still have feelings for him. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my BF and think about spending my life w/ him. but WHAT IF i'm missing something here? i dunno ....
roommate and i flirt a bit here and there still .... and i know he still has some sort of crush on me, but also respects that i have a serious BF.
uggghg, so confused.
all right, MUST get to work!!!

caroline, shannon, & mary, if you drop in - i wanted to post this website for you: www.sugarfreesheila.com
this girl is around our age - has a pretty good website, too. i like the page of FAQs ... i've even emailed her w/ ?s a couple time ... she's quite helpful.
enjoy!

Thanks Carrie!!!

I'm totally going to check it out after class

Thanks so much! I love having more web sites that I can kill time with and also take breaks at work!

As for the BF issues, I SOOOOO understand! I have been with mine for almost 4 years, and there are times that I sit there thinking, "Is this my life? Is this what I want to be my life?" I definitely love him, and I know I could happily spend the rest of my life with him, but it's hard not to think, "Is there something else out there?" I don't think there is someone better for me (I do not have the added stress of having someone right there in my life that makes me wonder that), but who am I to say? I have always been a big fan of getting things down on paper via a pros and cons list. I make pros and cons lists for everything, but I have done them for relationships before. Write down all the things that are great about your BF and your relationship with him, as well as all those that aren't. Also do that for your roomie. Weigh it out...pay attention to your feelings and inner voices...I am sure you will make the decision that is right for you. And if you are weaning off anti-anxiety medication, wait until that is done to act on anything because I used to be on Paxil and when I went off of it, I was a MESS! That could be part of what you are feeling.

And I also understand about the no money=no romance thing. My BF built a house within the last year, so he has NO money. If I want to do something fun, I have to pay for it. We don't really do dates much, and sometimes it drives me NUTS! It sounds like your BF really made it up to you thought, so props for him! Because my b-day is coming up, we have a couple of nice nights out planned, but that is definitely NOT the norm!

Have a great day!

I would say that I started feeling better within about three weeks, and it was about four weeks after that when one day I thought, "Hmmm, I feel completely normal!" I am definitely glad I got off them though, so that time was worth it!