I think that is so cute. Just like you.
You're a GROUNDBREAKER!!!!

Nice to see you in here again.

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!

April you are so COOL! Love the song, Barbara Mandrells version and YOURS! I have been missing your post. How's the hand? How is everything else going? Hugs to you, Anita

April - Love your version! How's everything going?

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Well, Rob, things have been better. It's funny how tolerant I am of others and their plight -- physical and emotional -- yet I am intolerant of deficits in myself in both of those arenas. I find myself in a predicament just now emotionally which is affecting me physically. I just keep telling myself: ?Suck it up, April. Get over it and move along.? So, I?m trying to do just that.

This, too, shall pass.

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April

The face of a child can say a lot -- especially the mouth part of the face.

My Blog

Hey, April

Hadn't 'seen' you for a while, and was just wondering how you are. Sounds like times are rough; hang in there!

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"Live strong." ~ Lance Armstrong
SLEEP BE DAMNED! GET THY BUTT TO THE GYM!
Start Atkins 9.1.03
225/198/130ish

Things are easing up for me a little emotionally. I had to face the number this morning, however, and didn't like what I saw.

Yet, I'm back on track as of this morning and it will get better.

Mary Kay, if you're lurking around my journal I want to tell you something: you're a true inspiration, girl! You're posts are plain, to the point, and informative, as well as witty.

But the best part is that you're at 201 and on the cusp of being in the 100's. Holy Crap! You've inspired me to change my attitude and learn, once again, to just say no to things I choose not to eat.

Here's to a much better week........

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April

The face of a child can say a lot -- especially the mouth part of the face.

My Blog

thanks April. You've been an inspiration to me and many others, since I started.
Right now posts are plain cause I'm just bugged that I can't break 200. Just keep crawling to it.
I don't gain, I don't lose, TOM has no effect, increasing exercise has no effect. Stupid body is just going to do what it wants when it wants.
so, not real chatty either - but committed to posting daily. And it has been helpful to have to go to Fitday every day - I had gotten out of the habit.

and to confess, I just had 5 butter mints. Moment of weakness, now I have to take the rest of the package and kill it. (garbage disposal) - or I will never leave it alone. (done!)

I'm glad things are settling a little for you. Are you still scheduled for the second wrist surgery?

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!

Butter mints aren't really horrendous, in moderation.
Found the nutrition label on the package. 6 pcs = 60 cal, 1 fat, 14 carbs.
I could easily have found something much worse I guess.
Now if they only sold them in single serving sizes.....

I realize it's not a lot of value, but sometimes there is value in just getting rid of a wanted taste.

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!

Yeah, I get the other surgery on June 3rd. Can't wait 'til it's over. I made a jello cake for the kids last night and they don't want it. I know when I go home I'll either take it up the street to the neighbor who who has 7 kids or I'll shove it down the garbage disposal. I'm very vulnerable to emotional eating still. Last Saturday (May 15th) I weighed in at a whopping 224 and was back down to 215 by Thursday morning by just being very fastidious about my eating. Thursday night brought a little more emotional upheaval and now I'm back up to 220 this morning. I've decided to take this a little at a time just now and have made my next goal for 215. This emotional see saw will stop soon. John keeps telling me that everything will be okay and that worry is counterproductive. I know what he says is true, yet I cannot stop worrying. I've even contemplated going to the doctor for some anti depressants or something, but I'm going to try to tough it out. I was in the video store on Saturday evening with John and the kids and there was a woman there who was treating her family with utter disdain and I vented and fumed about it aloud on the way back home. I was still worrying on Sunday morning when I wpok up and fretting about her kids and how they must have felt being treated that way.

Yeesh. I don't even know those people. I've gotta get a grip.

Anyway, I'm sure that things will even out for me once a few matters are resolved in my life, which will probably happen within the next two weeks.

I'm sure that you'll get to the 100's very soon. I find that a very stubborn setpoint for me is 200 and I seem to stay there forever once I get there. I can't wait to get there again.

Talk atcha later.........

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April

The face of a child can say a lot -- especially the mouth part of the face.

My Blog

Asking the dr. for something to help isn't a bad idea. You've been dealing with so much for so long, and having such strong feelings for strangers isn't helping you any.

My son (22) has been put on anti-depressants for now - but we think it is mostly just school burnout. Since he came back from FL 3 years ago, he hasn't taken a real summer off. Just a few weeks, then back into studies. Just too much pressure on him right now, and he is really struggling. I can see a difference in his demeanor on the meds. We have convinced him to take the summer off (plenty of things for him to do around the property). He has less than 1 year left to graduate (yeah, he's planning on going for a phd too, after) - but I hate to see him screw up the last year by being so burnt out that he doesn't do well.

Sometimes ya just need a little help to get over the hump.

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!

lc carb song is ADORABLE... just adorable..
hope you are feeling better soon... physically as WELL as emotionally...
(((((((april)))))))))

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

i asked doc for something when my mother died.. i just couldnt stop crying at the drop of a hat.. couldnt sleep... she gave me celexa... it worked terrific for about a year... then i weaned myself off of it w/o asking doc.... HUGE mistake... it made me have SCARY DREAMS that were SOOOOOOO vivid and ugly... i finally looked into the SIDE effects of going off and there it was in black and white..VIVID DREAMS! it didnt make me go back on it.. i toughed it out.. to be honest i never DID tell doc i quit.. anywho.. to end this rambling.. i just want to agree that it is good to ask the doctor for something to help.. but it is BETTER to actually follow their advice AND not quit taking anti depressant withOUT telling doc.. it sure had me FREAKED for a bit till i read up on it..

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

april, i hope you're doing ok. thinking good thoughts for you.
have you thought about talking w/ a professional therapist? i don't want to be too forward, it's just a suggestion. some of them can be expensive - but many are free at your local clinic, etc.
this can be a very liberating experience - helps to "see" your life from a different perspective. i strongly believe that ANYONE can benefit from talking to a professional.

i also used an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant (lexapro) for a year. just needed it during a difficult transition in my life. stopped after a year w/ little side effects. this drug is also nice b/c it does not cause any weight gain.
don't ever let anyone tell you that taking a medication like this is like using a crutch ... everyone needs a little help once in a while.

take care,
carrie

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Carrie
156/154/135

Thanks for the many words of encouragement, folks. I've been popping in and out, lurking and reading, and trying to get a foot hold again latley. I'll be fine eventually.

Been doing a lot of thinking of what I need, for a change, for me. I've come to the conclusion that this is my life, my body, my soul, and I just get one shot at this. At the end of the day -- when all is said and done -- I hafta face myself in the mirror and I am responsible for me. It's time to take time for me and to hell with everything else. For the first time in months, I went for a long walk last night. I felt energized and sore when I was finished 35 minutes later, but I felt good. I also bought a book this past weekend, which I rarely do. It's by the Dr.'s Hellers and it's named The 7-Day Low-Carb Resure and Recovery Plan. Although it's interesting and informative, I'm not sure that I quite agree with the menu plan. It's just astounding to me, however, that I actually spent money on myself for something that I wanted for me. I've decided that I'm worth it.

I'm surrounded by people who have no problem whatsoever with spending money and time on themselves for things they want and need. It's time that I view myself in the same light. I AM worth it and starting today, I'm going to make it happen. No matter what else happens tonight after work, I'm going to find time for another walk and will do so every day from now on. I need that "me" time. My next hand surgery is scheduled for Thursday morning, but I still plan on going for a walk that evening. The last hand surgery went well and I was doing laundry for every damn body that same evening, so I certainly can go for a walk after my surgery instead of doing stuff for everyone else. They can wait. I can't.

Also, at work, I'm going to speak up for myself. I usually eat my lunch at my desk and without fail, someone always approaches me on my lunch hour and tells me they need this and that done when my lunch hour is over, then they go on to explain the papers they are holding in their hand and just what it is they need done. In my mind I'm screaming: "Hey, pal. You can explain this to me AFTER my lunch hour. You're interrupting my lunch NOW." But I don't say that. Instead, I find myself saying: "Okay. I'll get to it after lunch." So, by the time that five people have told me what they want me to do AFTER lunch, and by the time they are finished explaining what they want done, 25 minutes of my lunch hour have passed actually WORKING and not taking time for myself.

Enough. Today will be different and they will get the point that I don't want to be bothered during MY time.

Today is June 1 and it's a fresh start for me. My period started this morning, which explains alot of things which happened this past week emotionally and eating-wise. As for the things going on with the "will we or won't we get to keep this house" dillema...I'm going to put it right out of my head. I cannot cope with it any longer on top of everything else I'm trying to cope with. I'm going to focus on living in the here and now, focus on today, and then do the same thing tomorrow and the following tomorrows.

My wonderful husband, John, has told me from day one that I must be true to myself and not do what everyone else wants because, ultimately, I hafta live with myself and I hafta make my own happiness. It's time I did just that. I know that you pop in here, John, and read my posts from time to time. If you happen to read this one, please know that you are very good for me and what ails me. Thank you for your support in my righteous endeavors. I love you.

Time to get ready for work now and time to face this face head on and try out my new attitude.

Wish me luck...

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April

The face of a child can say a lot -- especially the mouth part of the face.

My Blog

Good for you April. Glad to see you are taking charge of making things better for yourself. I look forward to seeing your progress. You can do this.

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!