Thread: Will Green Tea Help Me Enter the 130's?

Good evening Barb.

I detailed the reason I have been absent in my journal.

I'm heavily medicated right now. But feel your pain. I have experience dealing with a crack addicted mother and will right up my experiences good and bad with dealing with it in a day or two when my mind is clearer. In the mean time be rest assured you are far from alone in these dejficulties. Crack an meth are so bloody easy to get and even cook that the percentage of people dealing with this is seemingly out of control. But like all deseases on society this will abate in time. We can only deal with what we have at hand and sometimes that can seem like too much. I am just glad you have your DH to keep you company through these times. Well have to go chug some more meds, trying to catch up on my sleep and stay out of the hospital. Today was my birthday. Not the worst one by far. I have had some duzzies.

I see you have been busy. Hope all is going well for your family. I am off to spend my millions today.

Yep, I've been really busy.

I'm so sorry I didn't know yesterday was your birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY (belated), hope you had a nice day!!!!

I sure hope you will be feeling better soon Stephen!!!

Update on the DS-S saga. She kicked him out the other night and he left. He stayed at his friend's house. She called him the next day in tears and begged him to come back home. (He called here to get his dad's advice, who told him to go home and not stay away another day, which would look like he's playing a game with her.)

He called again today and said SHE said she was ready and willing to talk with us!!!!! I about fainted dead away. So now DH and I have the task to sit down and really hash out some strategies. I've been working on them a bit, but we bounce ideas off each other and can get some really good ones. So we'll sit with Dr. Phil's book and try to come up with some preliminary things. I have to remind myself that I don't have to plan EVERYTHING all at once. I guess I have to put my "teacher" skills at work and come up with some "lesson plan" type strategies. We don't know exactly when this will begin..........they have to make arrangements for the kids........her mom or my daughter to look after them while we do this. We can't have the little ones around during these "sessions" since they will be distracting and inhibitive. I'm sure there will be some crying throughout all of this, and that is upsetting to the babies. If this DOES happen, I will commit myself to it wholeheartedly. We REALLY want to HELP them and keep their family together, in a more healthy and sane manner.

I've gotten some more planning done on the CHAIR. I think in a couple of days I will be ready to sand the sucker and begin staining and painting. Work is still slow, so I have some free days yet to really crank up the work on it.

I bought one of those plastic container caddies "as seen on TV." and worked today on getting my plasticware cleaned out of FOUR cabinets. I bagged up the ones that had matching lids and will pass those along to the kids. There will be enough for 3 of the kids to have plenty. I now have TWO empty cabinets in which I can stash more stuff that has been sitting out on my counters. What a sense of accomplishment. I hope I don't sprain my shoulder patting myself on the back. LOL

Stephen, you will also like to know that I have attacked my upstairs TV room where I had boxes and boxes of Christmas stuff stacked (as well as some random crafting supplies.) You were my inspiration to get going on that. I decided I would just work on it for that half hour and it turned into an all day project with some definite resolution. THANKS for the much needed kick in the pants!!!!!! I managed to clear a closet out in a spare bedroom and got ALL my Christmas stuff put away in there. WOOHOO!!!!!

So, I have had a few really productive days. I am deterimined to get my house under control now that I have my body that way!!!!!

where's Kim been??? I hope she's alright!!!!! I MISS her!!!!

KIM??????

FOUR CABNETS! WOW! And attacked the TV room. Your on a roll Barb!
Just like you said, now that you have your body under control you feel 100% more in control. Been ther and will be there again! Just remember if a few days no matter how busy pass buy and your chair or your craft room doesn't get some attention, just drop into the 30 minute mode. It's ok if that is what works sometimes and awsome days other times.

DS situation:
Barb this is just a slightly educated guess but worth pondering.

Sounds to me like your step son is the one that broke down and made the change. I would put money on that he just got so tired of her behavior he told her wanted to call it quits and scared her into doing whatever desperate measures he said. He is the one that changed.

Bear in mind that crack is NO minor addiction. It is insidious in how they can get away from it for weeks and then get "Jonesing" as they call it. By simply seeing something that looks like drug activity, dig this they actually feel like they are getting a little high just seeing others in the behavior loops. If they are cracking accross the street they will more than likely have to move to get her clean over the long haul. And that is a FACT. Unless he is a real tough guy that can clear them out and that would be darn hard for Dirty Harry. The connections of other addicts and flop houses is very large in most cases. It doesn't look like it but it is.

Yes use the skills from your Dr. Phil book. I haven't read him. But I HAVE read YOU. And you impress me to no end in your compassion and enthusiasum to bring that family together, And baby that can't at alllll.

Now the other bomb shell. You have been seeing her at her best, NOT at her total selfish GIVE ME MY CRACK SPACE mode. She will need commited Narcotics Annonomous peers. In particular a very good NA one on one SUPPORT PERSON, this is already a major part of their system. This person is best being of the same sexual orentation, in another words very likely a woman support person, that common ground and NATURAL LANGUAGE is neccasary in those cloudy days-man seak won't cut it. Those phone calls in the middle of the night, from soccor practice for the kids, when ever she needs it ARE AN ABSOLUTE MUST. A loving supportive family can not solve this problem alone. Her mind is deseased with very socially undesirable prioroties. Right now she is caving to survive that or this particular day. She doesn't magically love her children more than the crack. That is some deep crap that does not often get removed from her shoes. The crack endused realities- the high states - at best will always still be with her in a cancerous fanny pack that she will have to choose forever to not indulge in. I do not know the statistics. But i have seen this play out before. And I say this with kind feelings for her as well as you, if you take the attitude that success is inevitable, you will simply be play acting and so will she because she will not be desperate enough to survive the journey to a healthy life.

Barb today my friend that I helped move into this apartment building, away from the crack and meth infested Lakewood to here ONLY after she had her act together for a few months. Vistited with me today and her only grandbaby a four yearold was tumbling about on my flour and annoying my fish and it was wonderful. She gets to see this child because she is the convienient and free babbysitter. Nothing unusual in that. Also nothing unusual in that she only raised one daughter to the age of 10 and her other daughter to the age of 12, the rest of their raising including one that is just now 16 were raised by other relatives. And the patterns of behavioral disfunction are strong in them. Both kids have been on antidepressants for a long time.

I hope this family makes it through this together. But I hope even more that you keep in the back burner of your mind the next best solutions. Is he man enough to raise those kids by himself? ARe you going to have to drop a lot of your life and shift back into mommy mode for 10 or a dozen years that you had no intention of?

All the resulting situations are livable. But easier if we prepare our selves. and know in advance when and at what point do we right off a person that chooses to embrase the desease. Do we wait for 10 more years and the kids are hellions? Or do we give her six months, six more months than she probably is due her.

This post sounds like I am all down on the addicted person, but remember I was playing with my neighbor and her grandchild today. I hugged her and she hugged me, we gave eachother the support we each could offer and needed from eachother. This is the woman that has pretty musch lost any respect or calm mother daughter conection with her daughters. But after it was too late to raise her kids she got it together by pure luck of finding the right man and friends. And quite literally with me chasing crack fiends out of her home on more than one occation with a baseball bat. The point is SHE IS OK. She finds JOY. She feels loss, so does her kids, but none of them have killed them selves, but all three of them have hash marks on their arms, physical scars of self destruction. But all are moving on. If her kids had stayed with her even another year while she was somewhat present with all her crack bodies. I doubt all three would of survived. BUt they have, apart, and that is not the worst thing.

Barb, if you can stomach this post and I bet you can, you might copy and past it to a seperate document for future reference. And feel free to show it to anyone you want. If you ever want to talk, just personal message me your phone number. If I am to sick or too preoccupied with my studio I am good about saying so. But I ALWAYS have a little room for another quality friend. If memory serves my long distance cost is capped at 10 bucks.

Barb, I can't wait until I have the time to become a Red Hat lady!
I've been invited to join several times, even though I'm not quite the required age. I've been told that I can wear lavendar with a pink hat in the meantime. But I just can't seem to carve the time in my schedule, what with being a single mom and all. Also, they usually have their outings on Saturdays...and I work Saturdays. Hopefully by the time I'm old enough to be a full-fledged member I'll be able to adjust my schedule so that I can attend. Unfortunately, though, I'll be working until the day I die....unless some well-off gent sweeps me off my feet and begs me to quit my job and become a fulltime wife, hobbiest and socializer! (fat chance that'll happen!) LOL

hey barb! im HERE! *L* fighting off some kinda flu crap or something...
sounds like stephens post kinda cuts to the chase eh?
i hope that your sons family can make it together... it sure is a different world than when I was young..:-(

{{{{Barb}}}} Hoping for the best for your situation!

Just checkin' in quick here to let you guys know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. More details on "stuff" later.

Thanks for all your support everyone!!!!

You bet. Have a great day!

No news on the DS-S and DIL front. It's been quiet lately.

I have made GREAT progress on THE CHAIR. I have the sky, grass, dirt and "flagstone" all base coated, as well as everything else that ISN'T getting painted, stained. I HATE the smell of stain, Phewwwwy. Next phase is to start on painting in some of the detail. I think I will try my hand at sponging in some white puffy clouds on the blue sky background next. I still have to draw out the "fairies" that will be "hiding" under the flagstone path. I have to play with perspective too and see if I can rough out a drawing of a little "cave/hidy hole" with the fairies looking impish, like they know they can't be seen, but are there. I want to try to portray them as giggling. So I will have to mess around with facial features, hands clasped over their mouths and their shoulder position. Stephen, I'm sure you know what I am getting at here. I know you go through the same kind of process..........although, I've never tried to sculpt. Drawing can go through the same process. My main hangup is though that I NEED models to draw from. I have a book of fairies that I made cute painted cutouts of, which will probably be my main source of inspiration.

I'm pretty much just working on the chair these days. The deadline is April 15th, but I am going to have to finish it by the 11th or so, so I can drive it up to the place (an hour away) on Sunday, which by then will be one of my only days off. So I have a little over a month to get it done. If I get marine varnish, I don't know how long that will take to dry.........and I'll bet it's oil based varnish. So that will be a factor.

Off to get dinner made and then dig into the chair again.

Sounds like great fun. Yes I visualized everything you said. I wonder if you acted out some of the fairies body language looking into a mirror from accross a large room or long hallway, if that would be helpful. I find it hard to get the major forms balanced without simular distance from my source material.

I hope you have a place outside to do the varnishing as that stuff can be wicked.

I am really spinning my wheels until the graphic tablet shows up. What I did today would of been done much better and a heck of a lot faster with a pen. Oh well just a couple more days.

The mirror idea is a good one. But I think I will sketch something out and then maybe take it to the copy place and shrink it a few different sizes. Then I will tranfer my drawing outlines onto the wood with transfer paper. Works well for me.

Ugh, gotta get to beddy-by!!!!

There as many, many, ways to do the same things in the arts. I have used your copy reduction techniques in the past and will again I am sure.

Have fun!

Yep there's more than one way to skin a cat. So I painted all day today and added detail to the background rolling hills, "speckled" the "dirt", lined some "grass blades" in the foreground grass (tedious) and added clouds to the sky. The clouds turned out AWESOME!!!! I can't wait to get the picket fence painted in. That will really bring the chair back together. Then I will start painting in the flowers that will be "growing" in front of the fence. Looks like I am going to be able to paint ALL day tomorrow, they called me OFF work for tomorrow. That BITES, into the paycheck. Oh well, next month they'll be asking me to put in 9 hour days. And I am going to try to prepare for that by bringing Atkins shakes with me in an insulated bag. When they do that.........they don't let you have a lunch break and you can't leave your station to go eat anything, and they won't let us eat at our stations. I've always refused to stay overtime when it's really busy because of that reason. But we really need the money, so I think I am going to bite the bullet and just do it. It will be exhausting, but I'll be done with the chair by then.........so I might as well work my tush off. And hopefully I will prepare enough ahead of time to put something in my crock pot and have dinner cooking itself all day, so I can come home, relax, eat dinner and go to bed and get up and do it all over again the next day. It will be grueling.