'Exactly. It's going to be such a moment. I have to be there. HAVE to. Hopefully I can score 2 tickets and can bring my dad. I plan to enlist a lot of help that day. I have a few friends who've promised to get up whatever day tickets go on sale (not set yet) and go online and/or call to try and help me. Hopefully one us will get through. '

I'm still hoping to nab tix for the Sox v Yankees on March 7 in ST. Check out what they're asking on ebay for them. Geez. At least I have some in my pocket.

I shudder at what things are going for on EBay.

Anyhow, tonight's topic of conversation shall be "My Computer and Why It Hates Me". Honestly. It's practically brand new!!! I got it in AUGUST. AUGUST. And in the beginning, it was nothing but love, all the time. It was shiney and new and fast and did what I told it to do. Good times folks, good times. We got along fantastically and spent a lot of time together, doing homework, surfing our favorite sites.

And then, out of nowhere, it just ended. It decided that the internet was evil and I should not be allowed to access it. And no, it wasn't the wireless signals I was using. It was the computer. It would connect and then just not let me do anything. Now we're letting me connect but not view pages at random. Oh, sure, sometimes we can view pages, sometimes we can even post. And then, bam, out of nowhere, hissy fit! We disconnect from the internet and give me a great big ole temper tantrum.

I've tried everything I can think of. I've installed spyware programs and antivirus softwear. We liked that for a bit. But now we don't. I think it's time it saw a doctor. I'm a bit sick of playing the "when will the computer choose to go online" game. Clearly I am not capable of handling whatever it is that it needs. And some time apart should do us good. Of course this won't get done for a bit because this will cost money and I do not have money.

*mutters under breath at computer*


SEE?!??!?!? I TRY TO POST THIS AND IT WON'T LET ME!

FOOD!

bfast: two fried eggs, two sausages

lunch: salad

dinner: leftovers from last night's creation

snack: cream cheese mixed with pb. good.

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

RSF... ya kill me.. ya just kill me...*L*
i TOO take it pretty dang personal when the computer turns to crap! 8-[
do you have a cell phone that takes pictures? i so want you to take a picture of your SH*TEAING grin at the opening game..
it would probably light up boston for a month! *L*

__________________
kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

I have to get the tickets first. But if I do get them, I'll post a picture or 500....

So tired today. I don't know what my issue is. All day long, all I've wanted to do is sleep. Soooo going to bed early tonight.

Not much to say tonight. Was in lab all day but not really. I was just working on my presentation I have to give on what I did in this rotation. It's next Tuesday. I'm a bit more than 1/2 way done. I'm supposed to be working on it tonight, but that's just not happening. I can't focus on anything.

FOOD!

bfast: chicken salad and coffee

lunch: cream of broccoli soup from Au Bon Pain, diet coke with lime

dinner: chicken breasts cooked in garlic oil with parm. cheese melted on top, sauteed spinach with onion in it.

snack: chicken salad (last little bit. no more now.) more of that cream cheese swirled with peanut butter treat (so freaking good).

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

I know what that banner meant to Royals fans back in '86 so I know what it is going to mean to RS fans...but more to them becasue they regularly are on top of the game...KC almost never--80 to the series and 86 winners...before and since...nothing...nada, horrid teams...but still my team!

Keep going with the food...you are oding great...glad the college thing is working for you! I know it was a tough decision to make but so so very worth it in the end!!!!

Good luck finding a gym you like and can afford within walking distance...I know how important that is.

__________________
Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

I can't believe I really posted last night. I have no memory of it. I was so tired. SO tired. I went to bed and I swear I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. But good thing that I did because I don't remember what I ate yesterday. Basically yesterday is a blurr.

School it hard. A lot more work than undergrad. Plus I was out of "school mode" for 3yrs, so getting back into the studying groove and remember all of my old study tricks took awhile. A long while. Most of the first semester to be technical. But I passed everything and actually did decent. Not great, but decent. Straight A's from here on out.

And I love the lab rotations I get to do. Okay, not so much the first one because that one was waaaaay outside my area of interest. But this last one has been a blast. And I discovered a novel gene that may be invovled in the regulation of HDL cholesterol to boot. Totally preliminary data, but so fun to find. Today we really sat down and analyzed the data and there it was. Basically I got lucky. But that's okay. Most of science is luck.

In other news I was having a horrid night tonight food wise. I came home from lab just exhausted. I had no food already made, and nothing to cook. Except for hot dogs. And I wasn't in the mood. So I got buffalo wings from the place across the street. BLECK! SO BAD! And so that just made me angry because now I was going to have to cook something and I. did. NOT. want to! At all!!! So I stormed around all 3 feet of my kitchen for a bit and slammed a few cabinets for good measure. Then I grabbed my purse and went to CVS.

On the way to CVS I was plotting a massive cheat. I wanted a treat. Plain and simple. I was tired and hungry. But then on the way there I passed this couple walking hand in hand. Nothing special, but she looked to be my age and she was thin. And I want so desperately to be thin. So when I walked through the doors to CVS I changed the food cheat into a trashy magazine cheat and bought a few tabloids. Then I came home and made myself a salad. And now I feel better.

FOOD!

bfast: 2 fried eggs and coffee

lunch: salad with lettuce, chicken, tomato, black olives, cucumber, and sprouts. diet coke with lime

dinner: stupid bad tasting wings, big salad with lettuce, b. olives, cold cut turkey, american cheese, ranch dressing. diet coke with lime.

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

Isn't that thin motivator so much stronger than any other? I do that too...and while my kitchen is bigger...I Still slam cabinets and often the fridge too...just for good measure!

__________________
Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

RSF - nicely done at CVS! Your post made me laugh b/c I also have a CVS close by AND see hand-in-hand couples ALL THE TIME on Beacon Hill. I've been keeping an eye on your journal and wanted to say...you're doing great! The North End is so great and it sounds like you're enjoying school, life, food, etc. Hope all is well...have a great weekend!

RSF...

I tried in vain to get tix to Sox v Yankees in Florida. Yeah, whatever. And you should check out what those bozos are asking for them on ebay! Plus it's split squad anyway. I guess I'll just be happy with BJ tickets. heavy sigh.

Did you get tix to opening day???

LOL! Hi everybody!

Still haven't announced the date of sale for the tickets. Can you believe that? Opening day is only two and a half months away! They'll probably announce it the night before they plan on offering them or something. It is going to be total mayhem no matter what they do. Everyone and their brother wants these tickets. I bet the season sells out the day tickets go on sale. They nearly sold out all of last season the day tickets went on sale and that was before we won the WS. Oy.

So I had two of my best friends come in yesterday. We had such a great time. I wish they lived closer to Boston so that I could see them more. But they both live a good hour or so outside of the city. We didn't really *do* much of anything - just a really late lunch/early dinner and then back to my apartment to hang out. Basically we did what girls do when they get together - we talked nonstop for 5hrs.

Ugh. I meant to stop by and log my food from Saturday but then I totally forgot. Sigh. And now I barely remember. Grrr. I hate when I do that.

Sat.

bfast: coffee

lunch: made this cheese egg bake thing from the recipe section. Had a good amount

dinner: two hotdogs

snack: ? I think I had a snack. I don't remember. No, I know I had a snack. OH! Cucumber with ranch dressing. And then more of the cheesey egg thingy.

Sun.

bfast: 3 fried eggs, coffee

lunch/dinner: CAD meal - chicken parm (I mostly just ate the chicken and not so much pasta - they gave me three huge pieces of chicken which was nice). Split a few desserts with my friends. Ahhh...the North End. The food here ROCKS.

Snack: cheesey egg thing, Reeses pieces (handful, not the best choice, but they were just kind of there and I was actually just munching on them before I realized what the hell I was doing...whoops).

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

that;s what they did last week...announced the remaining ST tix the night before. I guess next year, ebay will get all my money for sox tix.

Ah, see, the problem with piggbacking is that there is not always a wireless signal readily available for use. Though I last updated Sunday, so that's not too bad.

Um, not much to say actually. I have a big presentation on Friday. I"m getting there. Not as ready as I'd like to be for Wednesday, but also not totally lost and confused like I was yesterday. I've been at the library all day (admittedly not working very hard) and I'm ready to go home. But I know if I go home I won't work, so I've been afraid to leave. I just need to make myself work. It shouldn't be so impossible to work in my apartment. It's not even like anyone bugs me. I just get distracted and lazy. I need to write a paper part of this. I can do that at home and I'd feel better having in on my home computer after the library fiasco I had last semester. Hmmmm......

My talk is actually on a really interesting paper about Foxa2 - a forkhead transcription factor - and it's role in regulating lipid metabolism and ketogenesis in the liver during fasting and in diabetes. I've learned quite a bit from it actually. They also had some good experiments in it. I like the way they set things up and they were really thorough in the way they went about proving their theory. I wish I knew more about this specific subject.

Anyhow, I'm just going to log my food over the past 2.5 days and call it the end to this entry.

Monday:

bfast: cheesey egg thingy and coffee

lunch/dinner: cheesecake factory: sandwhich and cheesecake. I had this at about 2pm or so on Monday. And then I was honestly so stuffed I didn't eat the rest of the day.

Tuesday:

bfast: 3 eggs scrambled with 2 slices cheese, 3 strips bacon, coffee.

lunch: none (bfast was really late, like at 11a.m.)

dinner: ummm...what on earth did I eat....OH! Campbells LC soup. 1 can has 2 servings and each serving had 100calories and 5g carbs. So not bad actually. I had the whole can. Next time I make it, I think I'm going to stir in more veggies. Some spinach or something. I also had 2.5 slices of turkey wrapped around 2.5 slices of cheese. And some diet coke with lime.

Wed.

bfast: coffee

lunch: greek salad

dinner: TBA

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

I am so sick. And I have a presentation to give tomorrow. I am just so, so, so close to throwing up. Have been all day.

I don't know if this is nerves or if I'm really sick. I am terrified to give this talk tomorrow. TERRIFIED. I just don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I do know what I'm doing. I"ve given talks before. I've read the paper I have to talk about, I understand the results and the methods. But for some reason, this just seems like an impossible task. Absolutely impossible. There is nothing about it that seems easy.

I just don't want to do this. At all. I really don't want to. I'm going to sound like such an idiot. I just know it. I hate this. I'm not prepared enough. I'm just not. But I could prepare for days more and still not feel ready. I'm not that bad of a public speaker normally but this assignment has just gotten me frozen.

All I can think of are the nightmare situations. Getting asked an easy question I just don't know the answer to. Or knowing the answer but blanking. Your general public speaking fears. I don't know why this is bugging me so much.

I just feel like an idiot right now. Like everyone is smarter than me, is trying harder than me, wants this more than I do. I hate school right now. HATE it. I'm not sure why I'm here or what I'm doing. Yet, if I were to quit, I'm not sure what I'd do. There is no next step in my field without the PhD. Not if you want any sort of control over your destiny. I don't want to be a low level tech. for forever and that's what I'd wind up being. So I have to do this.

But I don't know if I want to. I just hate school. SO much. It's not that I find it boring or uninteresting, because for the most part, I really like it. It's more that I constantly feel like I'm an idiot. I know lots of people normally feel this way but I just honestly seem a lot dumber than those around me. And I'm not even putting in the effort to catch up or keep up. I just don't want to do this.

Ugh. I'm going in circles here. I just want to get married and be a 1950's stay at home mom.

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione

oh man...
whoa.. whoa... slow DOWN here.. gracious girl.. you are in a STATE! MAN..
i could probably ramble on about what you could or should DO .. but honestly? i think you need to talk to your MOM..or a close FRIEND to settle your nerves a bit..
((((((((((redsoxfan))))))))))))
i hate public speaking... and i can tell you it can give you the shakes .. but it WONT be as bad as anything you can imagine... really..
and honestly people are not normally given to wanting to MAKE a person who is clearly nervous WORSE by trying to embarrass you...
deep breaths.. deep breaths..
i dont know about anyone else... but what I have seen of you... has NEVER struck me as being even REMOTELY dumb..quite the opposite actually...;-)
someone smarter than me is going to come along here pretty quick and tell you what could help ya out..
all I CAN DO is give ya a cyber hug and let ya know that you are good enough to do this.. youre smart enough to do this... and i have every confidence that AFTER you do it.. you will march your silly butt in here to tell everyone how you NAILED it..
((((((((((redsoxfan))))))))))))
and if you DONT? AHHHHHHHHH welllll... then i deny this entire conversation..*grin*
call yer ma.. call a friend... you can use some REAL hugs kiddo!

__________________
kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

I'm better. The talk went really well. I don't know why I was freaking out so badly. I think it's just because I routinely go to pieces in that class. I'm not sure why I find SO hard, but I do. And I'm doing terribly on the tests even though you're expected to fail. He considers getting the class average (which is around a 40 or so usually on the tests) doing well. I have a tendancy to get 20s. So even by his low standards I'm not doing well. It frustrates me. To no end. And so to have to put together a presentation for this class really almost caused me to have an ulcer.

It's not really the talking in front of people that freaked me out. It was honeslty the class. I have to give another talk on Tuesday about my most recent lab rotation and I'm fine with that. I know I"ll do well and I actually know what I'm talking about, you know? With this talk, even though I understood hte paper and could talk about it, I was just panicked. Sigh. But it's over and I did well. I think. We're not told our grades.

But it turns out I really was sick and not just stressed out. I"m so congested right now. I can barely breathe. Thank goodness for afrin or I'd be a wreak. I also got a cold sore and had a few swollen glands. Blah. But I'm feeling better (besides the congestion) today. I couldn't keep any food down for really all of Thursday and most of Friday. Finally last night, the nausea went away and I could eat. I was FAMISHED. Anyhow, time for food!

FOOD!

Wed. (finish)

dinner: rest of my cheesey egg thingy and broccoli

snack: 6 small buffalo wings, blue cheese


Thursday (sick)

1 can of soup, kind of sipped all day and reheated several times. It was more of that Campbells lowcarb stuff.

Friday (sick)

dinner: 3 eggs scrambled with cheese and spinach and onions. YUM. And it was so nice to finally be able to eat something. Lots of water. I was so dehydrated by that point.

__________________
Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship. Can you believe it? ~ Joe Castiglione