Oh my goodness, I am so sorry about this tragic news! You have my condolences...

Please take the time you need to deal with your grief and to help your friend with her grief.

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say.... This is so awful.

My thoughts are with you.
Kelly

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Kelly
Highest recorded weight: 103.2kg/227.04lbs (03/15/08)
Current: 97kg/213.4lb-13.64
Goal:150
"Resensitizing myself to the urgency and severity of my weight problem is important in keeping myself motivated. I have to remind myself that my body will not tolerate this abuse forever." Jeannette Fulda, aka PastaQueen

Kristen, that is horrible. I'll keep them in my prayers. Where in SC did this happen? I also live in SC near Charleston.

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Kelli (LCing since 01/01/03)
Restarted 02/09/04 @ 155.5

Thank you for your kind words. She lives in Spartanburg SC. She and I were best friends from Kindergarten thru High school. We went our seperate ways, life does that to you. She joined the Army and traveled the world....I married my High school sweetheart and stayed right here. She would come once a year to visit her mother and we always made sure that at least one of those days our families would get together. My sadness I suppose is a different kind of sadness. My heart breaks for the girl I grew up with, fought with, hated, then loved again (you know how bratty girls are~"I hate you~I love you"!) She met Brad in Panama, he was also in the service. I got married and the day I told her that we were expecting our son,,,she told me that she was also pregnant. 7 years go by,,,I tell her we are expecting our daughter and she says again: We are also having another baby. So our kids were the same ages. They didnt know each other well, being so far apart.
Her Mom (who lives in the town next to me) had open heart surgery a couple of weeks ago. I can understand how I didnt find out until the other day. But there's this little part of me that thinks I should have known about it. It hurts to know that she suffers so much. The letters she writes are heart-wrenching. My sister has offered to fly her and her daughter up here anytime she wants to come visit her Mother. Of course, she declined. She doesnt want to leave there for one minute. I apologize for droning on. This is some insight on what I am feeling. It has not affected my lc wol, that is a good thing. I never did consider myself an emotional eater. So on that end, all is good. I weigh in tomorrow. If it's not good I will huck that scale through the window.

Oh, on top of all that,,, My neighbor (who is also my husbands Great Aunt) found out yesterday that she has lung cancer. Things are real bad on that front. That is a real long story,,,my husbands Mother and Grandmother dont speak to that side of the family, so we were asked by the Great Aunt not to tell them about her cancer. Nice position to be in huh?

Knock on wood, I might be fat, but I'm relatively healthy, safe, warm and dry. Things could be so much worse. So today I am grateful.

Well, I made it thru today...there is one hell of a blizzard going on out there. My husband just got done saying 5 min ago that he thought he even saw lightning,,,and sure enough the weather dude just reported the same thing! I guess we get it all here in Maine! The kids did not have school today, I doubt that they will go tomorrow either. Those roads had better be plowed, I want my paycheck. (ha ha). Nothing brightens my day like getting payed.

Ok, school is canceled again today, we have 16 inches and they expect 2 more before the end of the day. Oh, yeah and I GAINED A POUND. 226. With the excercise and everything? What the heck. It had better be muscle.
This is how today is going to go: My FIL, will drive right passed the house with his plow truck while I'm out there shoveling, the kids will be either bored or fighting, there is no cream for my coffee, my bedroom is a disaster area (and I do not have the gumption to pick it up) the power had better not go out.

Actually, I might be the only person in the northeast that really likes to shovel snow. I think it is great excercise and I do pace myself. Funny thing is, when Im done the driveway is way bigger than it is in the summer because I end up shoveling right out onto the grass ah ahahahha. My MIL called at 5:30 this morning to 'make sure Kevin could get out ok'. Please woman, he has a huge 4 wheel drive truck. I answered after 3 rings.......(I was making coffee for us) and she says " Oh, sorry, I bet you were in bed, I was just seeing if Kevin could get out OK". I answered..."No, I've been up for awhile, hang on",,then I handed the phone to him with my eyes crossed. Please, any of you singles or engaged people out there. DO NOT MOVE IN NEXT DOOR TO YOUR INLAWS!! Not only that but my Sister in law live up the street on the other side of me and MIL and her are inseperable. (GAG). No, it's not anything like 'Raymond'....on the contrary. That would be nice. Anyway, nevermind, it's way too much drama to get into here. Just take my word for it.
I have to go to work tonight. Wonder if my MIL will call to make sure I can get out ok. Kristen, stop it!!!!!!!!

I will take the truck. My PT Cruiser just doesnt seem to like 3 feet of blanketyblank snow.
I have a great idea. Im going to build a snowman with his middle finger sticking up and face it in the direction of my in-laws hahahahdhdhdhaahahahahhah!!! I am so immature.

After the week I've had, I think I've finally cracked. Of course I wont do that, but wouldnt it feel good? I'll just continue to paste the 'fake smile of the year' on and kill them with ultra fake kindness. Rambling again. I'm really bored.

All of you have a great Friday,,,,I will try to.

Definite signs of 'snow fever' - and I can so see myself in your comments.

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Mary Kay
2009 WW - 228 / 199

I want a Christmas Onederland!!

That weather man is a big stupid fat loser. 23 inches and it's still freakin snowing out there. Dont they know that I have shopping to do? AAAARRRGGGHHHH!

Kristen I just happened by your journal and I've just got to say, you've got one awesome sense of humour. Nice to see that you can laugh when things are getting you down. I love the snowman with the finger. lol I'm one of the lucky ones that has great in-laws. We even take them on holidays with us every year in the motorhome for two weeks and have a great time. Now, if you were taking step mothers....well, I take the prize for that one....I'm Cinderella with the worst wicked step mother. lol We won't go there, it's a very long story. Anyway, with all that you have been through lately I've got to give you a big pat on the back for sticking with the lc way. You go girl, you're going to make it.

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Donna
238.5/173.4/150
I will see my goal weight again

OOOOHHHHHHHH....I shoveled for 3 1/2 hours yesterday. 2 1/2 in the morning and then another hour and 15 min in the late afternoon. I feel like I've been hit by a train. Every muscle in my body aches. But my driveway is shiney white and BIG. tee hee.....
Needless to say I didnt make it onto the excercise machines yesterday either. I will try today. I have excercise of a different sort in mind for this afternoon.......lifting 10 oz. vodka and diet pepsi's. What? It's Saturday!!!! I'm gonna do it.......I'm gonna do it........

I have got to go to the bank this morning...bless these banks that stay open on Saturday's until 1. Going to take my son Brice to Borders, I have to pick up my Sister in laws Valentine from my Brother believe it or not. He called me and begged me to. He had drastic knee surgery last Friday and cannot move for 3 months. This is his 2nd surgery and this time they actually had to put cadavor ligaments and bone in there. (which kinda creeped him out until I made him really worried by telling him the cadavor was gay and he's gonna come out walking better than ever,,,,just a little wiggle in his step hahahhahahahahhahaha!!!). Anyway,, I will pick up a card and chocolates for him to give wifey-poo on Valentines day.
Kevin and I dont usually do the gooey stuff. I'm going to get him that Playstation 2 game, Mercinaries.....My son told me it's totally disgusting, shoot' em up and I know he will like that. I usually get a Yankee Candle. I always tell him to save the money on the card and buy me a more expensive prezzy. I'm awful, I know...but what the heck do you all do with the cards? REALLY?.... Yup, we're two peas in our rotten little pods, we are!

So, to the bank, shop, home to clean, go pick up my Mommy..............and enjoy my weekend..You all do the same.

Happy Valentines Day!
Had a good weekend.....My niece turned 1 on Sunday, so off we went to her birthday party. She is beautiful but man,,,,if her Mom isnt in the room that kid can scream. I mean not just whine....full throttle crazy turn red freak out. Kevin got his eye snapped really bad when he was blowing up a balloon for one of the kids, it popped and it was really scary for a few minutes. It snapped him right beside his pupil and the thing swelled up and watered profusely. He is fine, we got some medicated eye drops on the way home and this morning it was a little bloodshot but much better. *phew*.

I had NO cake or ice cream...(clap clap clap)!

Saturday morning I woke up feeling like I got run over by a freight train. I knew it was going to happen, all of that shoveling. I couldnt even snap my fingers without it hurting, that's how bad it was. I'm all better now, and ready to get on the elliptical. We ended up getting 25 inches of snow from that one storm, hard to believe.
Today, I'm heading in to pick up Valentine for honey bunny, and a little something for the kids....I'm going to drink lots of water and absolutley no cheats!

Way to go Kristen. I'm clapping for you too. I know how hard it is to go to those parties and not have the goodies. My grandaughter just turned 5 and it was so tempting to just have a bite of cake or just 1 hot dog. You feel so much better later when it hits you that you didn't cheat. I don't know how you can stand to have so much snow. I get so depressed with winter...I'm really a summer type of girl... love my gardening. It's going to be awhile before you did out of that one!

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Donna
238.5/173.4/150
I will see my goal weight again

I know, it's like Alaska up here! And today, rain and 40*, so that will melt some of it. You mentioned that you have a garden...........I also am an avid gardener! I have 2 watergardens, (no fish) with fountains and I love to see the tulips peak their little heads out in March/April. Wont be long! I just cant stop digging. We have 8 acres and I think I've dug most of it up putting in perrenials and shrubs. I love annuals for color too. My Mother is from England and she just got me hooked on the cottage style, she has an award winning garden and has been featured in Downeast Magazine! I am no way as dedicated as her though, she has been working on hers for 35 years and counting. She has taught me SO MUCH. It's going to kill me when we eventually sell this house and put in our dream log cabin....leaving my garden behind will be the toughest thing.
I ended up getting Kevin chocolates, and the kids each a stuffed animal. He came home with a Green Day cd for Brice, a Hilary Duff cd for Sydney and a Goo Goo Dolls dvd concert for me..... I love those live concerts, I crank that surround sound right up yee haw!
I bought 'The Notebook' and watched it yesterday. I'm so glad I watched it alone, I bawled like a baby. GREAT MOVIE!!! Then, since I was in the mood, I dug out 'Legends of the Fall' and blubbered over that one. That Brad Pitt............OMG, he is drop dead gorgeous. Maybe in another lifetime.................(bad)!!!

Water today! And a big fat chef salad for lunch......

We have a very old house that didn't have one flower in the yard when we bought it. That was about 17 years ago. Since then I have filled every spot I can with flowers, but I'm never satisfied. For some reason I only planted annuals for years and then it finally dawned on me that I was wasting my money and should start filling everything in with perennials. I love daylillies and have just about every colour I can find. Two years ago I started collecting calla lillies. They are a bit more work, but so beautiful. My kids have grown and left the nest now, so I have more time to spend in the yard (weather permitting). I can't have a water garden cause it would attract snakes (my greatest fear) and being in the only desert in Canada we have rattlers here and I sure don't want them in my garden. Our snow is almost gone now and I'm really itching to get my hands dirty. Guess I just have to keep myself busy with my other passion which is scrapbooking. I have books for each of my 3 grandkids and it's so funny to go back through them and see how my techniques have changed. Keeps my mind and hands busy so I don't think about snacking. I've hit my goal weight now, but it's just as hard trying to stay there as it is to lose the weight.

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Donna
238.5/173.4/150
I will see my goal weight again

It seems like we have ALOT in common. We bought this old house 15 years ago. Other than a huge wonderful 'old fashioned rose' climber that goes up the kitchen wall, the only flowers were a couple of those tire planters with some tiger lillies inside. The house belonged to my husbands Great grandparents, and everyone always comments on how happy Nana would be to see what we have done. (The first thing to go were the tire planters!) Also, I have been totally dedicated to scrapbooking for the last 6 years. I think I started when my daughter was around a year old. I have always been a camera 'ho', as my sister would say heeheeeh.....which directly resulted in my life changing for the better. You see, I would sit and spend all this time taking pictures of my two beautiful children, special occasions..and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had these extravagent scrapbooks to leave to my kids one day and NO PICTURES OF ME. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Always making a dumb crosseyed face or running from the camera because of my weight. That's when I decided that I had to do something. I had heard of lc, and one of my friends had been doing the 'if you can spear it you can eat it' diet. That's what we called it back then. When I went from 245 lbs. to 199 you couldnt stop me from getting in front of the camera with the kids and Kevin. Then, looking back to the begining of this year when I realized that I had put half of it back on, I avoided the picture taking situation again! So it all ties in together, right?

I know I've only dropped a couple of lbs. since my re-start, but that elliptical machine has helped me so much. I feel better, my legs feel tighter and my confidence is re-bounding. I will get back to 199, even if it takes me all summer! So, in a way, you could say that scrapbooking has changed my life. It is so enjoyable, but boy, you can sink some $ into it, cant you? I have 11 completed books so far. They are so much work but it is so awesome to bring them out, they really help you to remember the little things that would fade away if you didnt have the pictures. Everything from our wonderful dog Barkley, who died after the best 12 years I ever had.........to the kids with ice cream smeared all over their faces, to the first time Brice ever got into his new kayak.

Ok, I'm getting all blubbery now! Tomorrow is scale day. Who knows? I DO feel better and I WILL take it one day at a time!

Wow, I can't believe that you like scrapbooking too. I have a friend that told me about it...before that I had never heard of it. I didn't have any indoor craft hobbies and thought I would like to try it. Well, it blossomed from there I tell you. I started out with a rubbermaid container with a ruler, pencil, glue and a paper cutter to having half of our computer room full of bins and shelves. Talk about money spent. Oh, boy. But, it will be worth it. I only have 5 books done so far, but then my grandkids are only 5,2,and 9 months. I also subscribe to Creative Memories magazines and Simple Scrapbooks. My hubby things I have shares in Michael's. I could browse in that store for hours. Every time I do a page in one of the books it's like I can picture the kids faces after I'm gone and they are able to look back and see things that happened when they were little. And....it's something I can do with no one bugging me and wanting to "help". lol
Don't worry about how much or how fast you are losing the weight. It will come. Slowly is much better. I think I lost my weight too fast and I have skin that is so loose on my legs. Doubt I will be wearing shorts this summer unless they have longer legs on them. Now I'm self consious of being too thin. Can you believe it? I've been real heavy all my life. My highest was 240 when I was only 16. Didn't make for a nice graduation when I was that big. A bad first marriage only helped to put the pounds on. My turning point was 19 months ago on New Years Eve when I was sitting in a chair at a party and my legs were rubbing against the wooden parts of the chair. It hurt so much by the end of the night. I swore I would lose weight after that. And I did. I'm really stubborn and when I'm determined to do something I do it. My son won't even acknowledge that I have lost weight cause he doesn't approve of this way of eating. Too bad, maybe that's why he keeps gaining weight. It would be nice to hear a compliment from him though.
Anyway, this is turning into a book. I just wanted to let you know that I'm pulling for you. Hope the scale was kind to you today.

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Donna
238.5/173.4/150
I will see my goal weight again