Here it is, 2005. On Sunday morning I weighed 227. I will turn 40 on May 15th and I dont want to look like this anymore. I am starting this new journal as a way to be accountable to myself, and do it publicly. I cant believe that I let myself go like this. I was doing so great, got down to 199 from 245 and then I got comfortable and a year later here I am at 227. This is going to stop, right here right now. It seems like I have TRIED to start over so many times and I dont know what it's going to take to stick to it this time. I have even completely avoided posting on here since last Sept-Oct because it's just easier to ignore it. But it's just sad that I was doing so well and feeling so great, all that work to lose it and then just let it come back. This is the feeling I hate. I dont like shopping for clothes because I can see my tummy lump in EVERYTHING. I dont have a waist anymore. It's so nice to know that this journal is here and available to scream into. Hopefully this is the begining of really doing it this time. I know you all know exactly how I feel and things will start looking up soon,,,,, I need to do it for myself! Only weighing on Fridays, so I will be back then with the news.

Morning Kristen

You're right - we've all been there. This is a great place to get support and encouragement as you re-start your lc journey.

Check in often - and make sure you give yourself encouraging ((hugs)) as well as occaisional screams to let off steam.

Best wishes - you can do it!

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Tina

Thanks Tina...

I'm feeling great this morning. I started taking green tea supplements. I wonder if any of you have an opinion about green tea. I do know for sure that it is making me 'regular' if you get my drift. That is one area where I definatley need improvement ha haha. So if that's the only thing I get out of it,,, not a bad deal. Also, I think I will start drinking my water at room temp....the ice cold water makes me so cold, I cant warm up when I drink it so cold. I mean my nose feels like it will break off it's so cold. Big whiner here. Here's hoping for a 2nd good day.

Kristen...hello from another Mainer!
I, too, get so cold when I drink my water! My hands will feel like ice cakes. I started drinking green tea a few weeks ago, as did many on the boards. There are so many health benefits from it.
Hang in there and keep posting!

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Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130

I drink about 4 cups of green tea a day. Usually, I start drinking water after 12 noon.

It's funny what you've said about the water - I drink about 60 ounces a day, in addition to the green tea, and all of it is at room temperature. I can't deal with it cold.

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Tina

Drinking the water at room temperature is so much easier. I'm not one of those who even pretends to like water so anything that makes it go down easier is a great thing. I have been doing good since Monday. Considering this is only Wednesday I know that doesnt sound like much but just getting that water in is 'something'! This morning I had 2 fried eggs and 4 sausage links (yes, I had some ketchup, maybe 2 tsp.) for breakfast. I'm planning a chicken salad lc wrap for lunch with some cottage cheese,mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Dinner, I'm not sure right now...Oh, and for a snack I have plenty of pepperoni and cheese in the fridge.

I have 2 children so you know there are so many snacks in this house. I think that's the hardest part. It's not like I can get rid of every temptation in the kitchen just because I cant stop. So to meet me half way, my husband and I agreed that the snacks we get for them have got to be one's I wouldnt be inclined to go for. Like anything fat free~yuck. I see there are regulart pop tarts in there though. I will not touch them. Day 3 is going good so far! I have already drank 34 oz.s and my goal is to drink 68 ozs. for the day,,,,one more jug and I can do it. I will check back in tommorow. Friday is scale day. Not expecting much, TOM arrived yesterday~ugh.

Kristen

Re-start: 227/227/190 sounds good.

Another good day yesterday, eating wise. I had to work last night, that meant driving 20 miles in a stinking blizzard and the roads werent much better on the way home this morning at 5 a.m. Thank goodness for the 4WD. They sure come in handy when you need them!
I have to drink some water! Yesterday I didnt get the entire 68ozs. down, I pooped out after about 48! So I'm off to the kitchen to fill up a big glass. Tommorow is D-day. Wonder what the scale will say? Good or bad, I will report in and go from there.

Kristen:

Just a heads-up - try not to fixate on the scale.

Have you taken your measurements, as another way to see/track your progress?

Don't get me wrong, I'm on the scale all of the time. But often, the scale doesn't reflect the progress that my body is making.

Have a good day

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Tina

227 still. Better than a gain.

No, Tina I havent measured lately. I was a member of Curves for 2 years, then I let it expire in October. My 'justification' for doing that was to join one closer that opened up right here in my town. Well, I havent done that yet. This is the way it's been for me since the fall. Just plain ole let myself GO!

I feel that this is where it just has got to sink in for me. I'm pretty sure my mind is in 'lose' mode. I just have to keep the willpower going. And to tell the truth, starting this new journal was the first step of so many changes I will have to make. I know that. It was hard for me to swallow my pride and tell the world that I weigh 227. I dont even want to admit it to myself, so this week has been good for me. I really, really appreciate the support I get here. Sometimes I know I dont deserve it! I want to just scream when I think that I was almost there, I had crossed into the 199~s,,,ya know? To think of where I could be NOW if I hadnt blown it. It's not a good feeling. I want to see that 199 again, I want to do it. The buck stops here.

I have a goal........I would like to lose 20 lbs. by mid April. My husband and I are going to Florida with another couple for a long weekend. No kids!!! I should feel guilty but I dont!! We have taken them the past 2 winters with us so I think they can handle it if we go for a long weekend without them. If I could just see 20~something that would be so nice. But, I have to make it happen. I'm going to get in that 68ozs. of water today!

Of course you deserve support! And we're all here to help you out.

I'm like you, I'm a very private person (unlisted phone numbers, etc., etc.), and I had never told anyone my weight until I joined LCE.

Now, I tell everyone (well, not everyone, but friends and family), and being comfortable with whatever the number is can be an empowering first step.

As you see in my sig, I was at 235 when I started, and now I'm chasing down the 180's. The positive thinking and the changes in your mindset are keys to your success.

Anyway, when I started writing I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to belong to Curves to take measurements. Just get a tape measure, and record some baseline measurements to compare - neck, chest, waist, bicep, right thigh, left thigh, etc. You don't have to be excessive, but you'll find that inches come off, when pounds don't - and people see the inches, not the numbers on the scale.

Keep drinking that water and think about measuring your progress off the scale as well.

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Tina

Drinking the water at room temp, has made it so much easier.

I took my daughter to a birthday party yesterday and I was not tempted by the cake, ice cream at all. I did have some cheddar cheese and pepperoni and then when I got home I made some chicken breast with seasonings. It was delicious.

Kevin and Sydney are both sick and to tell the truth I am not 100% myself. Just feel completely blah. And were having the snow storm that the Patriots (yeay!) had yesterday. Cant tell you how much I'm looking forward to driving to work in this again tonight.

Kristen:

Glad your team won yesterday....We can all be friends, as long as the Patriots don't end up playing the Eagles

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Tina

Ooooooooooooooooooooh, We know that is going to happen! They have to get thru next Sunday first lol!

Feeling good this week,,,NO CHEATING! That is really something for me. I have to drink more water. If I dont lose a single lb. this week you will all hear me scream from my little house in the boondocks of Maine! I am keeping my fingers crossed and willpower is right up there. OOOOH, a kickstart would be just what I need about now!

Busy morning ahead....have to take my son to the dentist and I told my daughter that I would drive her to school first. Kids love to be driven to school,,, that bus ride is l-o-n-g.

2 more days to weigh in. Still feeling confident.

2 lbs gone~yeay! 225. I have hope at last.

Kristen
Re-start 1/11/05
227/225/190