so this will be my journal.
comments are welcome, of course.

my name is jessica (jess is ok, though i'm not fond of jessie), i'm 29 years old & i live in phoenix, arizona. i'm married (3 years) and don't have any children, just furbabies (2 dogs & 5 cats).

i've been through induction, i started december 20 (yes, before christmas). i had reached the point where i just couldn't take it anymore. i was disgusted with myself & my weight. i felt bloated & miserable in my own body and i knew i needed to make a change.

i have been on atkins before, but stopped eating low carb when i took a trip to visit my grandmother in tennessee. i gave myself the excuse that she might not live forever and i should eat her pecan pie & biscuits & gravy because i might not ever get the chance to again. of course then when i returned home after a week with her, i did not go back to eating low carb as i should have. instead, i spent the next 14 months packing back on the pounds.

so there i was a week before christmas, eating & eating & eating & feeling bloated & miserable. at my last doctor's visit i weighed 287 lbs. and was wearing a size 26. last september i met with a doctor to discuss gastric bypass, and probably would have gone through with it, except my insurance did not cover the procedure. i am thankful for that, because in retrospect i am very glad i have not surgically altered my body before giving another go at low carbing to lose weight. i know i can lose the weight this way. i don't want to have surgery to lose weight.

i don't own a scale & i don't use a scale, because in the past i have become so obsessed with weighing myself it hinders my progress. this time i am basing my progress on how i feel, look, & how my clothes fit. so far it's going very well. for my start weight i am using the weight i had at my last doctor's visit (sometime in november, i think? anyway, it was 287 & i'm 5'5"), and i'm also using my starting clothing size, a 26. i'm currently wearing a 24, so i know i'm making progress!

anyway, this will be my journal, where i will write about my daily ups & downs. please feel free to comment on anything you see here. i look forward to any & all comments.
:jumpgreen

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last night i made the faux rice & the jalapeno poppers (next time i'm wearing gloves-- my hands are still burning!)-- and gosh those peppers were delicious!!! the rice turned out really yummy too. i'm so impressed with the recipes people are sharing on the board & the delicious things i am finding to eat. the variety this time around is so incredible, i'm not going hungry or feeling deprived at all. i am very satisfied & not feeling sorry for myself because of what i can't eat.

i ordered a watp tape from ebay & plan to start using that a few times a week when it arrives. that's a big step for me, as i have been neglecting to do any exercise. i know i need to, but i'm just not wanting to start. i'm actually excited about getting the tape; so many people have had such good things to say about it.

i tried to donate blood yesterday, but found out my iron was too low. she told me that tea can make your iron low. i had no idea! i've been taking a multi-vitamin without iron, which is what atkins suggested, thinking i've been getting enough iron with all the meat & green veggies i've been eating. so yesterday i bought some iron pills & ate some spinach. is it possible i'll have even more energy? awesome!
:jump:

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Not sure about the tea and iron connection - I'll have to do some research on that topic. I'm drinking lots of tea, and haven't been taking any additional iron, so I'm curious about the research out there....

You'll love Leslie and the WATP group. As we've said over and over, it's a great way to get in some exercise!

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Tina

:silly: I was wondering exactly what do i need to do with the Journaling part here. Is it to tell how i got to be on low carb or what and how i am doing on it?

I am new and just began yesterday, Jan. 10, 2005, so i am not sure if I need to write anything in a journal now or wait until I have made some progress. I am really serious about losing weight and this is just no fad for me, I need to lose it for my health really bad.

tina, i agree that i need to do more research on tea & iron-- here's a start-- "green tea lowers iron levels throughout the body and may have a direct anti-viral effect against certain strains of the hepatitis C virus. Thus, green tea is highly recommended for hepatitis patients who may have too much iron in their livers." found here

Mary-- glad to see you've started your own journal!

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today is a great day!
my pants are so loose i have to keep pulling them up when i walk! i would go buy a belt, but:

1. i'm too cheap
2. i don't plan on being this size for long
3. i hate belts

i'm hopeful of getting into a size 22 soon, at least by valentine's day, which is my challenge. i have a closet full of 22's, since i was that size for a long, long time.

i start school on tuesday-- looking forward to that as well; i haven't been to school in a long time. i'm feeling great, looking better, & eating right.

i'm also looking forward to receiving my dandr book & my watp tape in the mail sometime in the next few days. i know i need to start exercising (more than just taking the stairs & parking further away at the store), and i have heard such good things about watp.

today marks 24 days cheat free-- almost 1/4 of the way to 100! that is so awesome as well-- and with every day it seems to get easier. i have compared "quitting" carbs with quitting smoking; when i quit smoking my cravings were horrible at first. i felt sick & all i wanted was to smoke. i didn't give in, though, and with each passing day the cravings became less & less until eventually i did not even think about smoking. i have now been almost 2 years without a cigarette, and i'm to the point now where i can't stand the smell of smoke. "quitting" carbs (and i say quitting loosely, because i have not completely quit carbs-- just drastically reduced the amount of carbs i am consuming daily), has been a similar experience. the first few days were absolute hell. i felt like crap. i was hungry for the things i could not have. i cried when i saw my husband eating a little debbie, not so much because i wanted it, but because i felt sorry for myself because i knew i could not and should not have it. with each passing day now, i know i am becoming stronger in my resolve to not cheat-- i am feeling better and better as my body detoxes. i don't have the desire to eat the carb-laden foods anymore-- in fact, when i'm hungry i naturally crave low carb foods. my eating is under control & i feel better than i have in a long, long time.

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jessicat your doing so wonderful. Your positive attitude and commitment comes through in every post and it is just SO inspiring, keep up the good work and I so look forward to reading about your progress!

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Shimmer
my blog

thank you so much, shimmer!

today i actually used my lunch hour for something besides eating & sitting-- i went on a walk. there's a wonderful sports complex across the street from where i work, they have all kinds of huge soccer fields & softball fields, with great paved walkways all around. i don't know what inspired me, but i got off my lazy rear end & walked. the weather was gorgeous-- a little windy, not too hot, just perfect for a walk. i really enjoyed just being outside, and i walked for about 30 minutes.
:butterfly

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Oh GOOD for you Jessi!!

That is just so GREAT!

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Shimmer
my blog

jess...
i am so happy to have a soul mate who isnt using the scale this go round..*L* i am not right NOW but i have and will continue to have my weight check at doctors office whenever i go..
it struck me when you mentioned how you walked and didnt know WHY.. i can TELL you why... because you are feeling better .. body mind and spirit...
walking is awesome... it is so much different than most exercise i have tried.... it clears your head.. it tightens many many parts of your body,,,not just the legs like i imagined..
continued success!
kim

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

thank you, kim, and you're right-- i am feeling better, mentally, physicall, & spiritually.

i walked again today on my lunch hour. i went further, despite the fact that my shoes were rubbing the back of my heel. i didn't push myself to the point of being miserable-- i just walked because the weather was beautiful and it felt so darn good to be out in it. i was thinking about anything and everything. i feel great now that i've walked-- ready to finish up my afternoon.

i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror earlier in the bathroom, and realized that my triple chin is gone, and the double chin is getting smaller. i'm starting to get cheekbones back. i'm liking what i'm seeing and that is definitely motivating.

today is day 25 cheat free. 1/4 of the way there-- one day at a time!

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jess! cool isnt it? walking is really quite wonderful when you get going on it... youre right not to go further and hurt your feet ,,(definitely wont make you want to continue doing it if it HURTS)
grab some good shoes for walking (i love my nike SHOX) put em in a plastic bag... and switch at lunch... switch back when done...
you WILL notice the sides around the waistline start to tighten up... that part is AWESOME ...:-)
kim

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

kim, it is VERY cool! thanks so much for your comments & support, too!

i walked again today-- went further than i did the last two days, because i had better shoes.

i need to really work on getting rid of the "negative language" that's in my head. i was watching dr. phil the other night, and he was talking to people about the internal dialogue they feed themselves. i am very guilty of telling myself there is no way i can lose as much weight as i need to. this has been my problem in the past; i will lose some weight, then stop eating the right way because i do not believe i can get to a goal weight. i need to work on this every day, until i am able to replace the negative with positives. there is no reason i can't do this.

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there absoLUTEly is no reason we cant do this! none! i have thought about getting a dr phil book to get that internal dialogue information... never seem to remember to look for it tho..
good for YOU! walking becomes addictive..*L*... pretty soon you wont feel RIGHT unless you DO walk...;-)

i am putting a renewed effort and new attitude into my LCing recently...
i CAN do more.. i WILL do more... and THESE are the steps i am going to make to GET where i want to go..

we'll get there jess... you wait and see!
kim

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kims SECOND journal is HERE
kims new blog
KIMS BLOG !!
SUGARFREE BLOG

i have no doubts we'll get there. it may take a year, may take three, but we'll be there.

i walked again today, this time went a little further than saturday. the weather here is warm & sunny. it felt so great to be outside walking.

yesterday i ate way too much. everything i ate was low carb, but i know i overdid it-- i had too much of that low carb cheesecake (i ate about 1/3 of the whole cake) & i just kept munching on other stuff all day long. doing much better today (being at work helps), and really trying to focus on why i overeat in the first place. at least i was overeating on low carb foods, not the sugar-laden garbage i'd been overindulging on.

double-bagging my green tea today to try & get that working in my favor.

they're bringing pizzas in at work today at 1. i'm not even really tempted.

i'm not going to count yesterday against myself for the cheat-free challenge, because i still haven't eaten anything i shouldn't-- i just need to be a little more conscious of how much of the low carb things i'm eating. so that means i'm now 29 days cheat free. not too shabby.

i'm excited about going back to school tomorrow. i'm also nervous. i think that has a lot to do with my overeating yesterday-- nerves. i haven't been in a classroom in at least 7 years.

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