Hey, A! Just stopping by to say hi. I'll visit more later....I'm trying to get to bed on time tonight!

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Thanks for stopping by Maxibee.
Got my 30 mins of treadmill done this morning. Again had to wake up at 4 am to do it since I am on the road by 5am. However, it makes me feel good about myself

Took a break from treadmill today, my feet were feeling tired adn crampy so I thought that a break should be good. Sticking to the diet control.

i am really proud of you for making time for the treadmill!! i know it's hard to get up early (i HATE when i have to workout before work) - but soon it will almost be a habit for you. WAY TO GO!
how is school going??

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Carrie
156/154/135

Thanks for your support carrie. School is good but tiring. I am doing clinicals from 6am to 6pm four days a week and have classes on the fifth day. Not to mention 2 hours of commute each day to clinicals or school.

Well, although scale did not move much in the last 2 weeks, I was able to fit into small scrubs at clinicals. Which is so nice because I have always been wearing mediums. So I think that there is some progress there.

Did my half hour of treadmill this morning. I think that taking a break for a day was good because this morning I felt like I had the energy to get up and get on the treadmill at 4 in the morning.

Finally the scale moved and I have lost another 3 lbs . Its been 4 weeks of starting back on track and according to my plan of loosing 1.5lb per week, I should been down to 141 lb. Right now I am 140lb, so a pound lighter than planned and I am not complaining.
I am soooo glad that I didnt give into the desire to quit a week ago, when I was getting depressed about scale not moving and that I incorporated some exercise into my routine and I think that it helped. Support on this form kept me going. During the past week my husband mentioned that I am looking slimmer and altough the scale was not showing any change, my jeans were getting kind of loose from the waist. So, yesterday after 2 weeks of stall, the scale showed 3 lbs down. I didnt want to post it till I made sure and therefore I weighed in again this morning and it remained the same.
This is really motivating. It shows me that what I am doing is working, so I can keep going on the same track.

By the way, I forgot to mention that I went to a conference over the weekend and they served lavish continental breakfast and food during the breaks. It ofcourse comprised of all kind of carbs ; bagels, danish, muffins, pastries, fruit juices, carbonated beverages etc etc etc. I am so glad to report that on saturday I was able to keep away from all of that at breakfast and during the breaks. On Sunday morning, I did pick up a bagel and cream cheese, took 3 bites off of the bagel and then thought to myself

"this really is not giving me any pleasure. Eating this will give me guilt for atleast a few days and I will again consider myself a failure. This dry piece of bagel (which really did not taste all that good to me) can not have more control on me than myself".

So I got up and tossed the bagel in the garbage. Another day of going by my mantra "I am in control not the food" :fork:

Since I had to go to the conference, I was not able to do my treadmill in the morning yesterday, so I did 30 mins of treadmill last night and another 20 mins this morning. I feel like I have much more energy now a days than before :jump: . Maybe because I am lighter and also because now I dont feel that after meal down or drag that I used to feel after eating carb loaded meals :( . Yesterday, after getting home I was able to do a number of house hold chores that I usually had no energy to get to before going to bed.
I am liking this way of life :bear:

Got my 30 min of treadmill this morning. I can not do more than that due to time issues. Cant wake up any earlier than 4 am, however, I am trying to go up on the speed. I also add some incline to the treadmill to make it a little harder.

So far so good for today. Staying on the plan. Have a test tomorrow, will be up tonight.

TOO MUCH temptations, too much food around at work place and clinicals, simply too much . Whenever I go to the breakroom for a decaf coffee, food food every where. Even if I pass by the breakroom, I can smell the delicious aroma in the entire hallway.

Oh well, it just makes me a stronger person to control the temptation and pick a piece of pizza or garlic bread. However, it is hard indeed.

Okay, I have a confession to make. On thursday, there was a lot of food at work. Food food every where. I kept away from the chicken and pizzas, had some salad and then the inside of some nice sandwiches. Although they were is nice special bread but I just ate the inside of the sandwiches and tossed the breads. I was so proud of myself. However, towards evening, as work kept getting more and more intense and I started getting more and more tired (had been up since 3:30 that morning), I went into the break room and just sat there for a few min with my decaff coffee. Now, all those different kinds of cakes that people had brought were staring me in the face, I got curious how each tasted, so I thought I will just take one bite out of each....that just ended up being too many bites. Ofcourse, that sugar consumption made me more hungry and so I took a bite of the pizza and then had 3-4 M&Ms with peanuts. When I went home, I ate more than my usual food and was soo sleepy went staright to bed.

I know whenever I have sugar, it makes me more and more hungry and I cannot stop eating. I dont know why I gave into the temptation of indulging in those treats. I am so worried about the weigh in day tomorrow (saturday), I hope I have not done much damage. We will see tomorrow.

Good news, actually 2 good news.

First I got a really good grade in my last test. I got more than 100% because there were some extra credits and I got 3 points for those so the total grade was 103%, that will bump up my total grade for the course

Second good news is that I have lost another 3 lbs.:jump: . Today was the weigh-in day and I was kind of scared of getting on the scale due to my eating frinzy on thursday but I guess not much harm was done . So according to the great plan of loosing 1.5lb per week, I should have been 139.5 lb by today and I am currently 137 lb, again no complains. My size 8 jeans is getting looser now, my waist is really trimed now but my problem area has always been my butts and thighs. I guess it is better to be pear shaped than apple shaped but I really need to get rid of these "thunder thighs" since that keeps me from going to a smaller size on my pants. My pants are loose from waist but fitting on thighs so I can not go to a smaller size.
I know some of those targeted lower extremity exercises should help but time is the major factor that keeps me away from doing those. It is my understanding that those are good when the body is warmed up and after my 30 mins of treadmill at 4 in the morning, I really dont have anymore time to workout. I will have to do something about it.

Meanwhile, I am happy with the results soo far. I think I am going in the right direction. Major issue to face in the upcoming week, actually upcoming couple of months would be to try and keep away from all that food at work. With the Halloween in next week, then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year, I know work place will be full of food food everywhere.
God, I simply dont know how people at work can eat so much and still remain thin? I think my work place is simply full of such blessed people who can just eat without thinking about it. Me on the other hand can gain 2 lbs by just smelling the food. :crying:

I will just have to stick to my mantra "I am in control not the food" :fork: but believe me, it is hard to go by it when there are so many temptations around. I am already scared to think about what I will be facing in the break room on Monday (Halloween). All that food will be reallllllly scarrrrrrry to face.

Alright, I am back. I looked at my last post in the journal and it was from 10/29, which means that I have been gone since more than a week. There are a few reasons for that. I started at a different clinical site where there is almost no internet access, TOM was here so I didn?t feel like weighing myself, Wanted to catch up on some studies (stress of a new site), have been busy solving some household issues etc etc.
Great harm has been done in the way of my weight management due to the above mentioned things. First of all there was TOM, secondly due to the new clinical site, I didn?t take my lunch with me for a few days (so ate whatever was there in the cafe), household issues and the stress of a new clinical site made me eat more than what I should have and lack of access to internet kept me away from journalling and so lost the motivation that I get from this site. The result = I am up 4 pounds :crying:
According to my plan to loose, I should have been 138 by this week and I am 141lb. Although I was going ahead of my goal for a few weeks, I am now 3 pounds behind. Whom should I blame for this ??? Unfortunately, I cannot blame anybody else but my very own self. Nobody forced me to eat all of that food and nobody kept me away from exercising but my own self :(
Its again decision making time. I can either lament about it and get stressed out and in turn keep eating more and more (emotional eater that I am) or think about it in a more rational manner and face the fact that I am still 6 lbs. lower than when I started and that after all its just 3 lbs. that I have gained. Its not too late in the game and I can still get back on track.
So I am deciding to let the loss of weight be my motivation and forget about the recent gain. Perseverance is what will count in the end and I think that I will be a much happier person on January 1st 2006, if I just stuck to the plan and gave it my best shot. I am a human being and therefore am not perfect. I hoped that I can be in perfect control for 3 months but that is just not happening and I know the reason why, its because I am a human being and therefore cannot be perfect. Yes, I can struggle to achieve my goal and struggle involves a lot of pain and getting up every time I fall right on my face.
I am giving my own self this motivational talk because I know I can achieve my goal. Deep inside I know that I am capable of achieving a weight that I have never achieved before and I know that I deserve the happiness that I will gain by reaching that goal. I just need to keep reminding myself that I can not stop life from happening around me till the first of next year. Things will happen and I will be tempted to give up and what will count eventually is the desire to keep going and attain the goal despite all the obstacles.
However, there are always lessons to be learned every time I fall and I do have some lessons this time too.
First of all, I need to get hold of emotional eating. Food has never been and never will be answer to any of my problems. Yes, it may numb my feelings for a little but it can never take the problem away from me so why do I keep falling back on it?
Secondly, I need to plan my day ahead of time and decide on my food consumption for the next day. The few days that I over indulged in the caf? were the days when I did not eat proper breakfast and had no food with me.
Nuts in excess are not my friend and I can sneak in excessive amounts of nuts without even knowing about it.
Lastly, not exercising is not a choice. I NEED TO EXERCISE. No matter how small of an effort it is I need to get moving and burn as much calories as I can and tone up my body.

I read a little article on the internet today and the main theme of it was that everyday we are presented with an option to either ?Live a little or die a little?, its our won choice to do that through the decisions that we make in our everyday life. If I am going to overeat, not exercise and indulge in self-pity ?I will die a little? everyday. But if I decide to take control of my eating habits, exercise regularly and everyday try to improve my external and internal self ?I will live a little? and I plan to ?LIVE A LITTLE EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE?

Its time for some goal adjustments. I saw on this forum how many are dividing their goals into smaller goal upto Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. So let me divide my goal too. Since I have selected Saturdays to be my weighin dates, my goal dates may differ from the actual dates for the occasion

Nov 26: 135 (in 3 weeks - Goal for Thanksgiving)
Dec 17: 129 (in 6 weeks - Goal for an important day for myself)
Dec 24: 127 (in 7 weeks - Goal for Christmas)
Dec 31: 125 (in 8 weeks - Goal for NewYear)

I know I can achieve these goals by making a conscious decision to "live a little everyday" and I will give it my best shot :great:

Cravings are back. I just had light meals today and my stomach is growling, but I am hanging in there. I know I can do this right.

Hey, Ambition. I'm glad you're back and getting back on plan. I saw where you joined the Thanksgiving challenge. I think the challenges are fun and it gives us a goal for the near future....something to shoot for.

I liked your self-pep-talk. You took responsibility for overeating. You realize how important planning meals is. You know you can do this. Just keep reading that and reminding yourself.

Have a good week and know you can vent here and get encouragement. Later!

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