Thread: If at First You Don't Succeed...

Hey Hayne...I wanted to stop by and just say that I love your journal. It would be nice to look at food and just see...welll....food..but we look at it and see love, or hope...or comfort. And in reality, it's not any of those things. I managed to get down to 207...and then climbed back up to 225...as of this morning I'm at 215...and am annoyed to no end with myself about the fact that I 'let' myself do that. I made poor choices...but as long as I never quite trying...I'm never finished.

BTW - I thought about the fast thing that Tom had told you about...and luckily saw that your metabolism could be slowed down for up to 6 weeks....decided NOT to do it as well !

So hang in there...keep up the good fight...and all that jazz! Your doing great...39 pounds is no small accomplishment!

Dee

I hope you're hanging in there, Hayne! I love to look at your animated siggy gif, because you can see such an amazing difference in how you look. It even inspired me to take a 2nd set of pics when I hit the -25 pound mark, and I'll do it again at -50. Maybe I'll even share those ones

Something that I do when I'm tempted to cheat is to remind myself that they aren't going to stop making fill_in_the_blank... and that it will always be there if I reach a point where I really want to eat it. So far that's working, and I've only had a couple of small glitches in my eating.

I miss you! Come talk to us

Oh Felonee - you reminded me of something that just bugs the mess out of me...and how I respond. My husband is eating horribly...just horribly...my daughter is 8...and whenever we go someplace and my husband gets something that she knows that I can't eat...she'll say "Mom's on a diet, she can't have THAT!".... I thought it was funny...but then realized I'm teaching her that making good choices is 'dieting'. So now I say, no...mommy can have that...but I'm making healthier choices for me and choose not to eat it.

Hey Tom, Rhalvahn and Felonee!!

Thank you all so much for stopping by!!

I am hanging in there, hoping to see a loss this coming week!! I've been exercising everyday and I've not cheated, well I did have 2 slices of low carb bread the other day.

Rhalvahn - I have a food demon! ahaha I was telling my mom today that the "fat me" is who wants the bad food and the only way to get rid of her was to starve her and it really hit me when I said that - its so true!!!!!!! The only way to get rid of the fat me is to starve that part of me out!!

Not starve as in starve-starve but starve the fat me of the foods that make me fat, the very foods that the fat me CRAVES!!!!!! As I see it in my minds eye... the more I starve the fat me, the smaller and smaller she (I) get and therefore the weaker she gets and the more control I have. (is that crazy or what!?)

So now whenever I start getting those feelings, those urges to eat, I say "get behind me fat girl!" ahaha seriously, I say NO fat girl, you gotta go, I'm starving you out!!!!

Felonee... my little siggy thing even encourages me!! I can't wait to take another during pic, I could KICK myself for getting off track but I also have to love myself for picking myself up, dusting myself off and for not being so hard on myself, I am back now and I will have another during pic pretty soon and that keeps me going!

Ok, now that I've let out how insane I am, I am going to go watch Law and Order and go to bed!! :-)

Hey, Dear, I like your crazy thinking! My fat girl is behind me, all on my behind!

Hey Hayne...I love the way that you think...your right. It's absolutely true. I can compare it to a story just read...talking about a bible verse...talking about how sin is in us....it doesn't mean we ARE sin....it exists in us. Sort of like if you have a splinter in your finger....it's in your finger...but it's not part of you...

Heck...I just like the idea of blaming it on someone else besides myself! ;-)

Hey Nita! ahaha mine's mostly in front of me actually - I have the belly of all bellies!!! I swear if I had the money to have it sucked out I would look so much smaller and my clothes would fit so much better - I wonder, when I lose all of the weight I need to lose if my belly will still be a problem - I've never had a flat stomach :-(

Rhalvahn - exactly!!! Its not who we are just a bad part of ourselves...

Sadly to say - my fat girl kicked my %$# yesterday! Yep... I had yet another "off day" and ate whatever I wanted. BUT... I have realized a very important thing, its the Induction phase, I just can't do it anymore, its just not working!

It worked great, I lost 40 lbs but I just cannot stick to it any longer, so I am moving on to something else.

I just ordered some dvds by a guy called John Basedow so I'm going to try his way and see what happens.

Its more carbs than I'm used to but its a lot more exercise SO... I am hoping to see a positive difference, not sure what will happen the first week with adding all the carbs etc BUT then again I haven't been doing very well lately with carb control anyway and this way of eating is still low carb just not 20 carb low, more like 100 (isn't that what most people eat after induction anyway?).

Well... wish me luck! I hope the dvds come soon!!

Ok, its on! The DVD arrived today! Going to watch it this evening and start it tomorrow!!!!!!!

I've done the treadmill TWICE today already, actually RAN every now and then!!

Downside: I've already got heartburn and I'm only 1/2 a day into my new way of eating, that's one thing I'll miss about induction ~ I never had heartburn on induction :-(

I watched the new DVD last night, looks like something I can do, I've had two low back surgeries and some things I just cannot do - I can't do all that crazy running around and all the fancy foot work of most exercise videos, I just put a Tae Bo dvd on ebay because it was just waaaay toooo crazy and they don't even bother to go through the moves with you before jumping right in, anyway... this dvd is all about using weights but to keep the heart rate up you move between the different exercises quickly.

Thing is, I am so sore today just from doing the treadmill that I can hardly move! When I walk I also do spurts of moving my arms in an overhead motion as if I am doing presses and WOW I can hardly move my arms today so today is my "off" day from exercise and I'll start the new dvd in the morning EVEN if I am sore and don't want to, it will happen!! :-)

I was pretty hungry yesterday, I'm sure my body misses all the fat (bacon and real butter everyday) but I think I can stick to this new WOE better for a while, only time will tell... I think right now its good just for the change, I'd become so tired of the same ole same ole that eating cardboard would have been a welcomed change ;-)

Well.... didn't start the DVD today as I had planned... instead I awoke to finding (one of my two...) ex's sitting on my front porch with my mother! (she's in town visiting until first of Jan - he, lives in the town I just moved back to, he and I lived together for 13 yrs).

So, needless to day that just put a damper on the rest of the day. Not that I don't like him, I do but its just weird having him come around. I never really loved him, not like a woman should love and WANT a man, he turned into more like a family member, which is why I broke off our relationship... he's since married and has two little girls, but... I KNOW why he's hanging around and so do you!!!

I also realized something else today while he was here - he couldn't let a minute go by without commenting on my weight - how I could "do better" and that I'd always been lazy and that I was never physical, that I was too pretty to be so big and even suggested that I die my hair bleach blonde!!!!!!!

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Does he own a mirror? For goodness sakes!!

You'd think this would be coming from some 6'4 210 muscle bound, independently wealthy greek god!!!!! But NO... this is from a guy who has barely kept a low paying job most his life, is at least 35 lbs over weight, with a large bald spot and pot belly - I mean GET REAL!

The my being lazy comment was the end of it for me... I finally had to say "my momma didn't have to buy my house... now who's really lazy?".

You'd think that would have deterred him but no...

I dont think he does such things to be mean, not on purpose, I think he's truly jealous... and it hit me as I was sitting there, fresh from just waking up to now finding myself being verbally attacked almost by some guy I'd dumped 15 years ago to REALIZING he had always treated me like that - he had always put me down and tried to make think I was always lacking some how somewhere and then it hit me WHY... he's jealous, jealous that he isn't who he wants to be and jealous that I don't want him!

So finally after he had said yet again how pretty I was and could do better weight-wise I said "LOOK, THING IS... YOU DON'T WANT ME TO LOOK ANY BETTER, YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT IF I LOOKED ANY BETTER" and he agreed.

So at least that crap was laid to rest.

Ah, but anyway... I didn't exercise and have only had very little to eat today because I got so behind on the stuff I had to do - tomorrow is another day though and I will do the DVD tomorrow!

Dear OhDear,

Good for you for telling your ex exactly the way it is! If men can't like you "as is", then they aren't gonna like you any skinnier. And if they are going to be tacky about your size, when their's is an issue, too, then you are best without him.

Let us know how you like the DVD.

Hayne, Don't let some loser interfere with the progress your making. I'm sure it felt good to basically tell him off. It is funny how people can sit in judgement of others when they aren't even worthy to have the conversation on that subject in the first place.
Next time you see him just slowly raise your left hand and open your fingers wide and say "Talk to the left 'cuz you ain't right! Now, just go away!" nuff said. He hasn't been a part of your life for 15 years and has absolutely no rights or privileges with you anymore.
I understand where your coming from on the exercise. It is tough to push a part of your body that is in pain. It takes a lot of self discipline to accept the pain while you use that part of your body. Only you can say if it is worth pushing it. I'm pushing my knees at this time. Not fun at all, but needed for me.
Have a great Day!

Hey Ya'll!!

Well the DVD is GREAT! My legs are actually quivering!!! I can hardly walk! ahaha next time I'll go easier on the squats!

What a jerk! He really sounds like he could use an overhaul on his ego! Don't listen to that loser. Great job on the exercise. Sounds like you took out some of the anger out on that. Better then the food we used to take it out on right?

OUCH!!!!!! My legs are SO SORE!!!!!! Great DVD though!