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Way Of Living Forever
Re: Trying to Walk and Chew Gum Simultaneously Well, it's only several hours into my second day of vacation from work and it's clear that, as we used to say back home, I "shoulda stood in bed."
Things started out well over the weekend. Even in my currently less than capable state, I managed to get some flowers bought and planted. It went slower and a bit more slap-dash than usual, but everything looks ok at this point.
This morning I got out early to the Target and bought a bunch of clothes for summer. (Did I mention that our weather went from snow flurries a week or so ago to high in the nineties?) Everything I got was on sale or clearance, so I felt as if it were going to be a lucky day.
In that state of mind, I went off to the Giant (a local supermarket chain) where I bought a scratch off lottery ticket. Ordinarily, I'd just as soon flush a dollar bill down the toilet. Found some lovely artichokes there, too. Then I went to check out. No debit card. No panic, either. I knew just where it was, sitting on my external hard drive, since I'd ordered something on line yesterday. I had one of my checks with me, so I wrote a check. Well, it had to be "approved" doncha know. I pull out my driver's license and the cashier starts writing down every blasted bit of information on the thing, including height and eye color. Then she looks up at me and asks "Where do you work?"
"Excuse me?" I said, fixing her with a glare "I could've sworn you just asked me where I worked."
Her eyes growing larger, she replied "I did."
"Look, honey," I said, "I'm buying sixteen dollars worth of groceries here, not applying for a freakin mortgage."
"But I HAVE to write it down!" Lip starting to quiver at this point.
"Fine. I work for the National Security Agency. " (I don't know how MUCH of my money goes to support it - since it's a secret - but I'm perfectly aware that I spend the better part of the year working to earn money that I can never use because the government takes it by force to support itself, sometimes I DO work for the NSA.)
She duly records this information and summons a roving manager type who examines the (now, filled with more information than the Uniform Commercial Code ever called for) check carefully, her aspect turning grave, and then waltzes off to the main office - my check in hand - shaking her head. Five minutes go by. Now there are a line of people asking themselves why they picked this aisle. Finally, she returns and places her magic key into the register, where my transaction is completed.
Feeling a bit guilty, now, thinking that my "employment answer" was what held up the check approval, I had to ask, "So, what took so long?"
"Well" the manager replied "It looked funny and it said 'BSB' on it, and you know, they're now Partner's Trust, so I didn't think we could take it."
None of these geniuses had the slightest problem with my obviously bogus job.
About a year or two ago, my bank (BSB, merged with Partners, and took the name) I had about 250 checks, designed for my computer & printer, at the time and, since there was no change in the routing numbers or account numbers, these were perfectly good checks and I wasn't about to spend money on new checks to celebrate their merger. I also started paying my bills on line at around that time, so these checks are only for emergencies. Like when I leave my debit card by the computer. These checks might last for another ten years.
Apologizing to all the folks on line behind me, I took my groceries and left, my mood already darkening.
I could have taken the highway home, but it was easier to turn right and go down Court Street, where, it turns out, the local law enforcement guys have decided to put up a road block. Knowing that I was perfectly legal, I waited my turn to be waved through .... but N-O-O-O-O. I'm directed to pull into the vacant lot that they have taken over for this purpose and told that I had an "equipment violation" because my front license holder had a plastic cover on it.
Now, understand, that's how the freakin thing came when I bought it new, in New York, from a New York dealer, 5 years ago, who saw to all the registration things - including the plates! Five years of inspections and a couple of speeding tickets and no one has EVER mentioned that this is illegal.
I was not pleasant. Indeed, I was just this side of apoplectic, as I recited the above. The young officer was actually apologetic. "I'm just going to give you a 'fix it ticket'" he said. "Just take the plastic window off and bring it down to the station within 24 hours and the ticket will be dismissed."
I pulled my pocket leatherman out of my purse and opened it to the screwdriver. "Give me a minute." I said. "I'll take it off right now and you can take care of this right here."
"I can't let you do that, ma'am" he replied. "You have to take it down to the station to get the ticket dismissed."
Good thing I didn't do it there anyway. It took me about an hour fussing around, with my ribs rattling, in 90 degree heat, to take the frame off and replace it without the plastic window. The bleeding plastic bolts they put it on with sheared off rather than come out and I had to tap out the holes for a different size bolt, because you CAN'T BACK OUT A PLASTIC BOLT, you just bore out a hole in reverse. ***sigh***
It's done, but I'm hot and sweaty and don't feel like driving back into town right this minute. There's absolutely nowhere to park near "the station" anyway. I suppose they're going to send someone over to the parking ramp to examine my car? Maybe I'll go to bed early and drop in at 3 or 4 am. I have 24 hours to do it, and they didn't specify when.
Oh, yeah. The scratch off was a loser.
Oh, Maggie, I hate to laugh at someone's misfortune, but I'm sorry, your telling of the tale just was too much! You sure have a way with the telling of the story. I can see you at the police station at 3 a.m. to get your ticket dismissed, and the poor night clerk having to deal.... 
)
Maybe I'll try a book after I'm done working at the court. Right now, I do so much writing using another "voice" (my judge's, LOL!) that it's pretty much only here that I try to stay in touch with my own. I feel as if I have a little laryngitis. 
babybluejay
I did just what your kitties did, most of the afternoon. They sure do a better job of lounging around, though. Don't you just love the way a cat can stretch in both directions....really, really long in length, or arching the back way up high. They just know how to relax. Just makes you want to stretch out and snooze, too. 
