I am going to make it!!!
That's it for now.

__________________
Winning the carb war!

I know YOU will make it!~

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Hello
hope you had a good weekend and had time to rest and all.
This week will be a better one for you!!!

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Here I started a journal but I've been too tired and hurting and discouraged to to write anything in it.
This morning I feel horrible, as bad as any pre locarb fibro flare morning:: That is to say , my brain is foggy, everything hurts and I think I'm catching a cold to boot. lol. Poor Me, play those violins girls and get out the extra large box of tissues, please, but no bonbons, because I am not giving up~!

Part of the problem is carb creep--- I know by now that I am one of those people who can't tolerate refined carbs in any amounts, and the chemicals and preservatives in processed foods make me sick too. I have to remember that this life style is for life, my life, because I don't want to die young and leave my beautiful son and my loving husband, and what family members that are left, behind. Why should they have all the fun with TURBO-Charged boy? (He's in a pitched battle with the forces of evil for control of his bed now, by the sound of it he's on top of a mound of pillows fighting for his life, I hear swords, space ship noises, gunfire, and general little boy mayhem coming out of the bedroom. I don't want to miss this!)

Last night was the closest I have come to giving up, Our church group came over and I was so tired I just wanted to die, not be hostess, mentor, good mommy, leader, or anything else. My husband has been working so hard he fell asleep sitting on the couch with pizza in his hand, he didn't lead our bible study, he just slept there looking exhausted, with big purple blurs under his eyes. Nobody bothered him, just ate, chatted -- we are all friends and family-- that's what the group is for, to support each other in life-- and slipped out the door. I was so tired I just ate pepperoni pizza and chicken bites with everyone else. Not a lot, but more than I would have these days. Yesterday I didn't have time to fix lunches or even eat a decent breakfast, so I had some All Bran cereal with cream/water and ran out the door. By the end of the day I was beat and starving. M y assistant ran to the dollar store for something, and because she is helpful, she brought back the only protein she could find-- little cans of Vienna sausages-- I ate em both, knowing the preservatives and stuff would kill me, but "at least it's meat and not pastry" was my excuse.

I know I need to keep my veggies cut up and ready to go, get up extra early to cook protein breakfast, prepare lunches at night, (my son is skinny as a twig, but he does better with a high protein lunch too instead of the ***p they serve at school), plan meals in advance, etc. I am so exhausted from teaching that I cant even keep up with the dishes, laundry, and taking the trash out, and DH is so tired and trying not to be discouraged about his business that I don't want to ask for more help.

My step mom has come over a couple of times and helped out, but I don't want to be sucking her dry all the time either. We had a great plan for rotating meals, planning together, and cleaning each other houses-- all of which has been difficult for us since the grieving time -- the year and a half since we lost my Daddy. That worked out great because two happy people cleaning house is better than one depressed person looking at it in despair, but lately every time she sees me at her house, instead of letting me clean she parks me on the couch or in the spare bedroom under the fan and says "Get some rest, you really need it".

Work will not be letting up soon,. I have 5 more kids than the legal limit, no one has been to preschool, and they are wild as little feral kittens. I have to be mentally and physically "on" and putting on a terrific show, every second of the day just to keep them from rolling on the floor fighting, I can't even sit down at a table with a group to help them or teach a lesson. I have to circulate and deal with outbreaks every second. The group is so large, I am not getting to do a lot of the developmentally appropriate things I know they need, because I have to keep them on a tight rein so they don't hurt each other. That sucks the life out of all of us, and these days I am expected to have them reading (at a level we used to consider late first grade) by Christmas. They don't have books at home, have never been read to, and don't know colors, common vocabulary in their 1st language, etc._ I have to do this in their second language, which is exhausting. In 20 years, I have only taught in English a tiny bit-- All my materials and stuff i have painstakingly built up or written or made myself in Spanish, because there was never anything available. All the English teachers had it easy, and now that I'm English this year, there is no money to buy anything for my room, so I'm back to where I started out years ago...On top of that we have a 1-3 hour staff meeting everyday after school, so I have to stay after that till 6 or 7 to clean up and get ready. My son sure hates that, and its not good for him either.
Oh, well, enough self pity. Im going to used book store to look for a copy of Atkins, I only have the version that is for people who have already lost the weight. Going to start induction all over again. Thanks everyone for your continual encourage encouragement and prayers. I still need them. S.

Food for the day, 8/ 25 yesterday
1/1/2 c all bran with cream/water
lunch 1/2 oz leftover steak i found in my fridge
snack 2 small cans vienna sausage
supper: 2 pieces pepperoni pizza, 4 chicken bites, and I didn't take the crust off.
Water, but not nearly enenough.
And the pizza gave me heartburn, which hasn't happened since I started locarb, yuck

Yes, I know this is absolutely terrible, I will do better today.

__________________
Winning the carb war!

first off, if you have 5 more kids then allowed by law, they have to change that or give you a aide. You need to sit and talk to the principal and tell him/her that you cannot do what is expected of you because of the number of kids and the ability of them, and all that, even if its to cover your butt in the end, when things dont happen as they want it to happen.
Is this Kindergarden?
I can say you have to make time for you and your husband needs to take it easy and sleep more. But I wont, as I know life gets in the way. But is there any way you can take a break from some activites you do?
Planning ahead on meals and stuff is good too.
maybe make a list?
but you cant give up, I wont let you
you can do it
and you know people care
i care
you can do it
sending hugs and prayers

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Thanks Babe, you're the best.
Over the years I dropped every activity except breathing, but I have added some back== today I sing in church, 3 services will wipe me out, but I get so much more energy and joy than I give I can't drop that one again unless i am really dying. I still crochet once a week with a group of ladies. I really need that time too, because it is an hour or so just for me and whoever is getting the project, lol. I don't work on them any other time now because Im too tired. Just going to keep slogging through. It always gets better. Read my blog, I am ashamed that I even whined. I come from tough stock-- I have always been so proud of the men and women who came before me with so much grace and strength and faith in the Lord. I don't know when i got to be such a crybaby~! Anyway, you are a SWEET HEART and I thank you from bottom of my heart for your encouragement. Gotta go now and praise the Lord. Do you have a church? I have dropped most of the things I was doing there, because I had to, and people are just people, so some of the women didn't understand, but I still get a huge boost from worshiping with a group. Especially when I get to sing. Take care. S

__________________
Winning the carb war!

HI
I think you are NOT a cry baby, do not hold your self up to them, totally.
You can do this and if you need a time to cry, crying is good for the soul.
Yes I have a church, one I am not thrilled with much right now. But nevertheless, God is still in control, I just wish he would work with me on the positive a bit.
I am glad you have outlets, they are good and you have time to talk and all.
very good.
hugs and have a good night
sandi

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Sandi,
You are the sweetest of sweethearts. You always make me feel better. Now, what are you going to do special for Sandi today besides eating right locarb? Take care sweets and HANG IN THERE! I will!

__________________
Winning the carb war!

My journal, such as it is:

Yesterday, Sept. 4 was a total bust, locarb wise. Woke up late, no breakfast, nothing in the house to take for lunch-- my partner teacher saw me at the computer working on test scores and brought a whole wheat granola bar, didn't have the heart to refuse but the sugar and carbs wrecked me. Later she confessed (skinny athelete that she is) that she had opened a bag of cookies for just one and ate all but 2 chips ahoy by herself and would have to got to store to get some for Tuesday because one of the kids brought them to share. She handed me the last two and I ate them. I was too hungry, shaky and depressed to even think or I would have said no thanks. About 4 my assistant ran to the restaraunt she owns wth hubby and brought everyone burritos, i ate that too, beans and a tortilla. At dinner I did manage to pass on the chicken and potatoe salad and just eat a bowl of all bran with a little cream and water on top. Later though i had 2 fiber crackers (cant remember the brand, they look and taste like insulation, but are ok with a little cream cheese). Went to bed discouraged.
Breakfast today" scrambled eggs with too much garlic. I get in these moods where chicken, chicken products, and eggs totally gross me out -- smell, texture, you name it. I put in a little garlic pepper to cover taste and accidentally knocked the lid off the giant sized warehouse type bottle, so we had garlic with eggs. My dh couldn't eat his, the dog and I did ok though. At least I couldn't taste the egg, lol. The groomer may wonder why Barkis smells so strongly of garlic though.
Then had a diet dr pepper, which i usually avoid.
Want chinese food for lunch. Need to go shopping, Craving meat and veggies instead of sugar, so thats a plus, i guess.
NOT GIVING UP, NOT GIVING UP< NOT GIVING UP!!
I wanted my family to notice all the weight ive lost and that i am alive when they come for this labor day weekend, and here i am just as bloated and tired as i was at the beginning of july
oh well, a lesson in vanity I guessl
I still wont give up!!1

__________________
Winning the carb war!

dont give up
you wont stop
I wont let you stop

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Saturday morning. I am still sitting here and NOT cleaning house.
I guess I did ok this week, Not nearly enough water or calories for the most part.
I lost about 9 pounds though so I will not complain. I have GOT to get back to exercise. I am just not doing it. The time i spend online I could be exercising, but I get so much support from LCE friends Sandi, Katlupe, and Cindarella , among others, that I am addicted.
My goal for this week: trying to reduce stress at work and home by organization. For total ADHD person, this is my biggest hurdle in life. The way of eating works best if I can plan ahead and do ahead. Gonna log and clean my kitchen.

BTW I am so excited, i found a fresh mozarella recipe and we are going to make some. The only exotic ingredient was food grade citric acid, which is expensive here in pharmacy. I found some at amazon for $1.oo and its on the way. Have to laugh at myself, though. After about two hours online i had a "shopping cart" full of locarb bargains. The miraclenoodles were only 1.96 a package (vs almost $4.oo here), the bran cereal was 4x cheaper, the lowcarb chocolate, toroni syrup, and actual locarb sugarfree choclate chips for baking were too. The extra virgin cocoanut oil was the best deal;; 3 something for the same size and brand they sell for 16.00 at our health food store! The nifty little flag in the corner said I was eligible for free super saver shipping. I was so proud of myself I actually dallied in the shoe department and books for a moment of Gracie Allen logic (Remember her or Lucy saying "Look honey, I made us 400 dollars today because this hat, these shoes etc. etc. were on sale? I didn't spend the extra money so we are ahead, right?). Well, I couldn't afford them, and when I went to checkout my 40 dollars of groceries had over $100.00 of shipping. Not a single item in my cart actually qualified for the discount shipping, lol. SUCKER!!!! I went ahead and bought the citric acid and some cheesecloth and a new cooking thermometer on sale. If DH finds out the shipping still cost 3dollars more than the products, I am gonna hear about it. I will let you all know how my fresh mozzarella comes out. I haven't been able to afford it since I lived in Italy, around here it is about 12.00 for a 6 ox package!!!

__________________
Winning the carb war!

Hi Oonagh,

You lost 9 lbs in one week??? Or, since you first started LCing?

i bought the stuff to make fresh mozzarella, was waiting for home grown tomoatoes and never got them, so never made it, you need junket too.
I dont buy the low carb stuff, most have gluten in it and if it doesnt, it has added sugar or salt and other stuff I just dont want to eat.
So I try to eat as fresh as poss.

__________________
One Day Starts Today!!!

Atkins and Totally Gluten free 8/1/09
355.6/324?
31 pounds gone (8/1)

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Hey Oonagh,

Where are ya? You okay?

Yep, I'm here. THanks for asking!
It was nine lbs last week. I lost 53 since 2nd or 3rd week of July, then gained and lost the same 10 since I went back to work. Now im down so the total is probably about 55 or 56. I havent even logged on because i was so busy with work and falling into bed when i get home. It doesn't help that it is still really hot and my ac in classroom does not work. With 23 wigglers and 2 adults it seems about 82 degrees, but is probably only 79, lol. I prefer about 70 but anything would help. That makes me tired and grouchy and nauseated. Makes the kids that way too.

Tomorrow is Constitution Day. For years I have taken part in the whole school pagent with my kids, and they list all the people who have helped make America what it is, with no mention of the Natives. This year I buttonholed the commitee and made them write in a part. at least 99 % of the population are Hispanic and have at least some Native blood. Then there is a pueblo less than 1/4 mile from school. Then there's the others, like me.

I should have started sooner. Granma Cathy voluntered to help me make Michael's regalia (we do NOT say costume) for the pagent, but she went out of town for an unexpected family thing. So i was up really late last night and night before making my son a Ribbon Dance Shirt, and redoing some of his jewelry, etc. He's grown out of it and I didn't think about that in advance. I gotta fix moccasins in a minute, then find mine. LOL. I was going to try to make myself a whole new Tear Dress tonight, complete with the patchwork and ornaments, LOL, because I am too fat for the old one still, and too skinny for the stuff i was wearing. I just got an email saying I have Worship Team rehearsal in a few minutes. We are going to rush to Cathy's house to eat and finish his stuff. I may look pretty funny. My dad has a Red/White/Blue frontier shirt or dance shirt I made him years ago. I am hoping that it might fit me by now (and that Cathy didn't give it away last year when he died. Maybe that, my moccasins, and a denim skirt will help me look ok. I feel bad representing thousands of people and hundreds of people groups and tribes in a thrown together dress, but my son is a bit shy about being in the pagent all by himself.

That said, I ate enchiladas last night, yep real tortillas, but i skipped the salad. Family came in suddenly from out of town and wanted to to to their favorite restaurant. I decided to hi carb it, but i did skip the hot sopapillas with honey (basically fry bread). I could sure smell it though. THe enchiladas were great. Once in a while it is kind of neat to be able to eat like regular folks with out beating myself up or going on a binge. Today: up late, cheese for breakfast, cheese and almonds for lunch, water, and no clue what i will find to nibble on before i go sing.
Gotta run now.
Hope everyone is doing well.

__________________
Winning the carb war!