Wednesday morning: I'm forgiving myself for not going to cycle class this morning. There's a certain amount of sleep-deprivation going on here, and that's one end of the candle I DON'T have to burn. I did go to weights class last night, which felt really good.

Today's task: arranging for rehab, and breaking the news to the customer. Larry will be disappointed/angry/unhappy. Let's hope the good part--getting unplugged from all the gizmos, and relieved of relentless puncturing--will outweigh the negative. His eventual return home depends entirely on his own behavior, not on my capacity to take care of him. I will certainly impress him with that notion. Brenda, your wise words are imprinted on my brain, and printed out in my computer.

Wakeful last night, I finally got up and made a cup of herbal tea and sat down to read the packet of Al-Anon pamphlets. That made me realize how valuable this effort will be for me, regardless of my feelings of resistance to yet another social involvement. The organization has a long history of wisdom, and if nothing else, I need to deal with my responsibilities from this point of view.

Sorry not to acknowledge everyone. I'm definitely reading along, and I realize that all of you have lives, as well--the good, the bad, and the ugly (careful of those toes, Peg!)

Take care.

__________________
Barb L.
Atkins since Jan 2003
Maintenance as of 4/05


My Fitday Journal

I just got up -- 7 AM! So I haven't read anything. Back later!

__________________
Alida
5'1" ~ 59 years old
Highest weight: 165
Atkins 7/10/2004
160/126/125
RE-DO, January 2008:
167/162/135

Morning gang! The usual day - babysit, clean, trying to get steps on my pedometer, go to church tonight and then another early morning tomorrow. The kids are being so good this morning while I do my chores. DH is home and playing on his computer since it's his day off. He did help me unzip the couch cover so that I could wash it this morning. Hoping to have him help me put up the new shower curtain too.

-----------------------------

Peg - I hear you on the boring life. More boring the better because to me it just means less stress. How is your foot this morning?

Barb - I hope that Larry surprises you and today goes smooth when you give him the news.

__________________

Barb: Your strong and compassionate wisdom show through in your post. I'm so proud of you. When you have gone to one or two more meetings, you might pick out one woman who seems to live out the program, and ask her to sponsor you. It's at those "I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing" moments that someone like that can offer wise words of encouragement. I'm also proud of you that you got out the pamphlets and read them. You are right. There are decades of wisdom in both the literature and in the collective wisdom of those who are recovering from co-dependency. I love the program because it's grounding is in the biblical principles that you and I know so well. There was a time in my life when I decided, like you, that I didn't have time NOT to be in the program. Hildegard of Bingen refreshes me at times like this: "...And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all shall be very well." Peace to you.

Shel: Hows that back this morning?

Alida: Have a good day, my dear!

Bren: Okay, girlfriend. Whatcha doin?

Judy: Have you had your Spring break yet? Something tells me that you have. (CRS)

Rach: Missing you, girl.

Donna; I hope that you have some peace in your life, darlin.

Nita: So good to hear about you and your life and how you are doin

Heather: Good to hear from you too. I hope that your health is improving.

My foot is less swollen this morning. I sat with ice and elevated last night and it went down immediately, which tells me that I best stay off of it and keep it elevated when I can. So, one more day of pampering, and then I am done with this stupid thing! My toes are still black, but the bruise all over my foot seems to be fading, TTL. Still hurts when I press on the bones, so not going there! I'll probably be back to answer here and there. We're having a visit from some "seniors" in the ofh this morning. Just a friendly stop by to see how we are. That's nice, huh? I arranged for a mover yesterday. It's going to be considerably cheaper than we thought! Yay! Today, it's TV, internet and phone. I've been researching my little heart out and it hasn't been easy. We seem to have Verizon as a monopoly in that town. I'm not excited about their track record for service. But, it's all we got! Also, we'll have a satellite dish instead of cable. Monopoly there too with Time Warner, and their track record is dismal in that town. So, today I contract with Verizon. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Oh, and my eating is fine. I haven't gained or lost.

Peace, Peg

This is my second try to get in here. One of the drivers came in earlier and this guy will stand right behind me and read what I'm typing. None of his business so I had to back out and lost the post. *sigh*

It's been a busy time at work...month end, payroll, invoices etc. Tomorrow will be the biggest set of invoices so that will take me all day. That's okay....I like to stay busy and it's the perfect way to end a short week. Long weekend starting Friday....love it.

My grandkids will be coming on Saturday....our annual Easter egg hunt for them. Poor dh has to work (for dd) so he will miss it. It's his job to hide the eggs. Then, I figured they are old enough now to decorate some eggs so I bought all the stuff for that. Sure hope I don't regret my idea!! I'm planning on picking up dd early in the morning, so she can help with that. She's sooooo good with little ones.

I was doing good weight wise but last night we were invited to our vegetarian friends house for dinner last night. She made a tortilla filled with beans, corn, pepper and cheese etc. It was that and a little salad so I had no choice but to have one. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. It was tasty...but a couple of hours later I was starved. Everyone else ate 2 of them, but I thought that was pushing my luck. Then fresh fruit for desert. Results...up 2 lbs. this morning. I'm pretty sure it will be gone tomorrow...I'll just be careful today. My friend has rheumatoid arthritis and has some pretty bad days where she's bedridden with pain....so good to see her on her "good" days. They live in a ground floor apartment and the manager allows her free reign to the garden off her balcony. She's turned it into her own little sanctuary with solar lights and statues. Very peaceful for her.

It's still very chilly here...I only get in enough walking to get the dogs out. Still haven't been able to play with my mp3 player yet. Either I run out of time or I'm just too tired. Stress level is still very high. I've decided that when the whole family is at my house for Easter I'm going to have a talk to them all and tell them all to stop acting like children. I'm stuck in the middle of them all and I'm just tired of it. Dh complains cause dd doesn't go and tell him what's going on with her...she complains to me that she can't talk to him, so I call him and tell him to be nice then send her to him so she can talk...then I tell ds to call his sister and he complains that he doesn't know what to say cause he doesn't approve of her lifestyle...I have to tell him what to say...then he only gets her answering machine and doesn't leave a message, he calls me back and I call her and yell into the phone for her to pickup. Then after talking to her I call him back and tell him to call her again. Then have to tell her that okay, he's made any effort, now she has to call him back. Then I have to act as the go-between with dd and my brother...she's too embarrassed to call him. **Sheesh**, I'm just tired of it all. Hmmmm.....wonder how they will all take it? Don't really care at this point. I'm the one who's going to end up sick if they don't leave me alone. Dh is already complaining that my jeans are hanging on me again.

Peg: Oh, your poor foot! That sounds so painful. Hope it's better soon.

Shelley: And your back....take some of your own advice and take it easy.

Barb: Do I detect that maybe you are getting a little tired and maybe just a little down? Hang in there, girlfriend...better days are coming. You've been through a lot and have had too much put on your shoulders. I admire the way you've pulled though it all. (((Hugs))) We're all here for you.

Heather: Bet those kids are getting excited that the Easter Bunny is coming?

Brenda: Shopping today?

Alida: How are the plans coming for your Easter?

Sorry, guys, have to cut this short...I can see the boss coming down the highway...gotta love big windows in your office. Back later if I can.

__________________
Donna
238.5/173.4/150
I will see my goal weight again

Yes, Donna--no doubt about it, I'm tired. Down? Well, no point in that. In fact, if anything, I've taken the bull by the horns, and I'm feeling energized. Returning the responsibility to dh for his own recovery takes the burden off me, don't you think? I've got a list of care facilities, including one near home that I'm very confident about. So this afternoon, I might make a visit and set up the transfer. Dh knows what he has to do, and I cannot do it for him. That's that.

And speaking of turning over responsibility: You can do that, too, with all your assorted family members. Go-between? Just say NO. The pain is only temporary, and the change of behaviors can be permanent.

Hope you have a festive weekend!

__________________
Barb L.
Atkins since Jan 2003
Maintenance as of 4/05


My Fitday Journal

Peg - glad to hear that your foot is improving and this hasn't affected a weight gain.

Donna - That guy was so rude to be reading your e-mail! I think that he must have no life or was never taught any manners. // Tomorrow I arranged for my mom & step dad to watch the kids for a few hours while we shop for Easter stuff. I've already let the kids know that they will not be getting a lot of candy for Easter. The kids eat it so slow and I end up finishing it up. They don't mind, the kids would rather have toys anyway. I plan on getting a tooth brush that plays music for 2 minutes while you brush your teeth for the boys, a nice church outfit, a fun toy and then running to the dollar store for more odds and ends stuff. We'll boil up the eggs and decorate them on Saturday.

Barb - that is good news to hear of a place close to your home for the transition.

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Hi gang!
I just got back from the grocery store and finished putting them away. I swear, it seems the grocery list is a perpetual thing...LOL. I've already got another list started for next time! Oh well...

Barb...so Larry is nearing discharge status? Good deal. It is very advisable to drop in and visit the SNF that you are thinking of using. Hope it all goes smoothly and that Larry will be a *good* student and do his homework and be truly home before you know it (((hugs))) girlfriend!

Peg...glad the foot seems to be improving. Yanno...if you have to be up and about on your foot, you might try an ACE wrap for support. Elevate the foot prior to wrapping; it should help a little with the swelling as well as feel pretty good.
My back is mui better today! Still sore, but not complaining near as loudly

Alida...sounds like you were definitely *off and running* this morning. Hope you can find a minute to drop in and visit. Of course, no worries if you can't...we totally understand.

Donna...I know what you mean about being the *middle (wo)man*. When our DD was a teen, often times I had to run *interference* because DH didn't know how to deal with the crisis of the day...LOL. Still have to do *go between* duty every now and then, but not near as much, thankfully. Now, I just usually say to DH "tell her yourself". It usually carries more weight when her Daddy says it...LOL.

Bren...yeah....what 'cha doin' today? Inquiring minds want to know!

Nita...bet you are having a busy work day also.

Judy...how are things in your neck of the woods?

Heather...have fun shopping for Easter. My mom used to make Easter very special. Always a new Easter outfit, complete with lace anklets, white gloves, hat and purse and white patent leather dress shoes for church. And it wasn't complete without a HUGE stuffed animal and choclate bunny in my Easter basket. Lovely memories; I was definitely spoiled

Think I may have a *nap attack* soon...LOL. The thing I hate about napping, is my body can make a habit of it rather quickly and expect me to do it EVERY afternoon, yanno? But since it's kind of chilly here today, a cuppa DCGT and a nap seems to be calling to me....we'll see.

Prolly back later...
(((hugs) to all)))

S.

__________________
Shelley


Visit Kassie's Korner


"A goal without a plan is just a wish."
--Antoine de Saint Exupery

I’m SOONER born,
And SOONER bred,
And when I die,
I’ll be SOONER dead!
GO SOONERS!
I be ready for some football!

One little walker-runner Dude for every 10 miles!

Shelley, that nap sounds luscious! Wish I had time. Take care of that back.

Peg, good to hear that your foot is not as bad as before. Listen to your body, and rest it if it makes it feel better.

Barb, you've made a good decision. Let Larry take responsibility for his recovery, and just be there to support him, while taking care of yourself. When he gets home, you'll be his primary caregiver, so you need to be in good shape to do that. At those times when you are ready to scream (and there will be such times), just come here and vent.

Donna, tell your kids to grow up, let them live their own lives, and you live yours, and be done with it. No matter how much we love them, eventually they have to make their own decisions, make their own breaches or heal them. It's part of being a grown-up. You take care of yourself, do what you can to de-stress.

Heather, our Energizer Bunny is still going, and going, and going! Where do you get all your energy?

Alida, hope you get a few minutes to relax today.

I have an appointment with my chiropractor on Friday afternoon. I get a day off and have to spend it getting man-handled so I can feel better! I might just have to see if DD2 can spare some time soon to give me a massage. Haven't had one in ages. DD1 is supposed to be giving me a monthly pedi/mani, but she's had a big flare up with her fibromyalgia, so I'll have to be patient and wait, and cut my own toenails, which is hard when the back hurts. What a vicious cycle!

We have some kind of critter in the attic of our building. I have a hunch it's a squirrel. They are thick around here. And they like to chew wires. Hope he doesn't chew up our internet connections, or our phone lines....wait a minute, let him chew those phone wires! No more annoying calls.

Have a great rest of your Wednesday, all.

__________________
Nita

Kids are napping and then in an hour our little friend will be picked up by her Grandpa. He was teaching me how to put her hair up yesterday. I'm terrible with hair and just pull mine back in a band and place a nice clip over it and away I go. My little friends hair is short in places so I can't seem to master getting it all out of her face after nap. My oldest boy we keep his hair super short and my 3 year old's hair is curly so we just wet, scrunch it and it looks so cute.

Shelley - Me too, spoiled with the Easter Bunny growing up. Like to keep on the tradition of making great holiday memories with my boys.

Nita - I feel guilty if I sit to long like I'm being lazy. If I watch a TV show it frustrates my DH that I'm up during commercials and even sometimes during the show doing this or that. I've suggested treadmills or riding bikes instead of the couch but I'm the only one here that thinks that would be a good idea. Yesterday I was so sick of not being able to exercise I almost jumped on the elliptical. I rethought that idea when it occurred to me I might get better the end of the week but if I exercise I could be sick another week or two - yuck! // Let us know what that little attic critter is. Hope it isn't something icky like a big ol' rat or bat.

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Hey gang, lots of good conversation, and I am behind again.

Barb I hope all goes well with your conversation today. It seems that whatever his reaction, you are in a good place with your decision, and that's as it should be. My experience with Al-Anon has been positive. I've met wonderful people who display strength, but more importantly peace within themselves about the tough decisions they often have to make.

Donna, I can only second that the only way to get out of the middle is to stop being in the middle. Having a family meeting to ask them to change is pointless IMO. Why should they when that have you? Changing is up to them, anyway. But if YOU change and just refuse to be put in the middle, they will have to figure out how to relate. Or not. They are grown ups and it's their decision. Is this easy? Nope.

Peg, I've been following your foot saga. Good Grief! First I'd have probably passed out trying to bandage myself. I can handle other people's blood, but not my own. Second, I REALLY hope you heal fast and don't have any broken bones. Vanity is one thing, but the possibility of limping for the rest of your life is quite another. 'Nuff said, as Shelley says. (OK, now you can take your fingers out of your ears and quit singing LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA)

I can't wait until my Verizon contract is over. It's not their service so much as it is the crappy interface they insist on putting in their phones. That's the software you see on the screen and the way it works. It is SO non-intuituve and it seems as though there is no easy way to get from one place to another. The screen choices aways point to their expensive services first, too. Internet, Text Messaging, Music downloads. Using the phone seems to be an afterthought. UGH!

Shelley and Nita, both of you are hurting. What is it with this Spring? I'm going to blame it on the season, because I'm sure not going to admit any of us are getting older.

Nita, I had a massage this morning, and I feel so blessed to get some of the knots and out. I hope your daughter feels like giving you a massage and that your chiro works his magic as well.

Bert, it seems you are in a really difficult place about your dh's surgery. How incredibly hard to honor his decision to have the surgery when you are so aware of the extra risk it would be to his health. I think you have much courage.

I have to stop for now and start supper. Hungarian Chicken--haven't made this in years for some reason.

Hope to see you later. Oh, my smile of the day? My massage therapist said she could see muscle definition in my back and arms. Woohoo! Nice to be able to work out again.

__________________
BC
LC Since 1998
Highest Weight 172
Current 104-108

Barb, had to pop in and see how Larry and you were progressing. My father passed away in 1992 from hepatic failure and I do know the consequences. However, it all looks upbeat for you and Larry if you can find your way throughout this crisis. My heart goes out to you and I know you must stay strong. Sorry for high-jacking this journal, but I wanted to at least let you know I am following the progress in your life. Take care and if you need anything since we both live in the same city, do not hesitate to PM me.

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196/135-135

Rhonda, you are ALWAYS welcome here!

__________________
BC
LC Since 1998
Highest Weight 172
Current 104-108

Hey Rhonda!

Come back any time and join our little circle around the pool. You are very welcome.

Peg

Thursday Morning: On the way home last night, I stopped by the SNF facility of choice and had a tour of the Rehab center. It's reasonably pleasant-looking, as those places go. I heard one lil ol' lady complaining bitterly about the food, and dh will be required to eat at least two meals in a small dining area, which will be full of lil ol' ladies in wheel chairs. He'll love that. NOT.

In some ways, it will be WORSE than the hospital. Unfortunately, there's no PT on weekends, so his actual rehab work would barely begin until Monday. However, if he gets checked in and evaluated today, perhaps he will be ready to come home before then. The place is near enough home that I can be there a lot, so I can learn some things, too, and (if he will cooperate with me) be his walking-around buddy.

I've been treated well by attentive staff at the hospital, and don't look forward to the change of personnel. I'll have a case manager from the insurance company's local care management organization.

Rhonda, nice to see you here! I tend to forget that the board is a public place, but it's pleasant when other friends drop in.

Heather, I love hearing about your Easter plans for the little ones. Easter was always a big deal at our house when I was growing up. New outfits, including hats and gloves, and Easter baskets. I don't mind that this joyful religious occasion has a colorful secular side to it, too.

Gotta run. I'll be back when I have a few minutes later at the hospital. I'm sure there will be a lot of waiting to do!

__________________
Barb L.
Atkins since Jan 2003
Maintenance as of 4/05


My Fitday Journal