Hello,

I am 5'7 and weigh 220lbs. The highest weight I have ever weighed. I never really had a huge weight problem until a year and a half ago. My father passed away suddenly and it was totally unexpected. He was my best friend, the one person that was always there for me. It was very hard and I thought I would have to support of my friends & family but I didnt. I thought they would be there for me but I was wrong. I got depressed and turned to food for comfort and here I am 50 lbs heavier and even more depressed because of it. I used to be a social person but now I find myself closed in and not wanting to go anywhere. I dont feel comfortable in my skin as I dont even recognize the person in the mirror. It's a shame and so disappointing how I have let myself go. I do want to be happy and want to live a good life, for me and also for my Dad. He always told me that if I am happy...he is happy so that is part of my determination in wanting to get healthy again and not let food comfort my emotions, my pains, my guilts, my losses.................

I have tried doing Atkins & South Beach a few months ago and lasted 3 whole days. I was sure I just couldnt do it as it was just so hard to come home every day to the reality of my life. That was more overwhelming and again I would turn to food. I feel like a failure because of it and thought well maybe I can do low cal/low fat yeah yeah that will work but I have failed at that also. I have found my way back to low carb and I truly feel that is what I need to do and stick to and that is the answer but it all depends on "me" and that is where my problem lies. I am my own disappointment and yes, its hard to lose weight but since its something I really want to do it shouldnt be so hard should it? I know I am asking alot of questions and if you are still reading this I want to thank you for being so patient.

I need some direction and any advice you can give me I would appreciate it. I promised myself that one day I will have my own story to tell in the "success" area of this board. I know once I get myself back into shape I will be a more positive, outgoing person that isnt hiding from the world. I want to shine again and moreso I want my father to be proud of me and I know he wouldnt want me to be overweight and unhappy.

I look forward in getting to know all of you and thank you for allowing me to open up and expressing my feelings and my life.

Welcome Melinda.

First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. I saw my dad waste away to cancer over the course of a few months, and I've often wondered which would be worse, what we went through or losing him suddenly, like you lost your father. From what I've read, your loss is much more traumatic and hard to recover from.

Add to that the fact that you didn't feel you had emotional support during that time, and it sure is a recipe for weight disaster for anyone who might have a tendency to use food as comfort.

Sounds like you have some issues with friends and family you should work to resolve, and not just "let it fester".

Emotional healing is just as important as physical healing, in this whole process.

And NEVER NEVER equate your "success" as a person with your weight. Some people here will NEVER lose all the weight they want to. That doesn't make them failures.
Sure we're all trying. Sure it will make you healthier. Sure it will make you feel better. But it's not the total measure of your worth as a person.

Stick around. I think you'll like it here.

a.

Welcome here to our big family. If i could help you at all i would start w/ saying READ! we are very talkitive people here and we are willing to help. If you have any questions dont feel afraid to ask.. !

You are takeing the first step in being a success! (even if you dont loose all the weight you may want) the first step is realizeing you have a problem and takeing action to change it!

Hope to see alot of you on the board and hope we help you threw your though times!

Angie

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01/02/04-248{ 4/29/04- 218} 6/30/04- 204
7-05-04 198 8/30/04 - 190 (got lost after that-)
4/03/08- 261 -
Goal-140-145

Andrea is our lovely leader, and as she says, you will like it here. Thank you for sharing your story, and welcome to a good place.

If you plan to use Atkins, get a copy of the book Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution (the most recent edition). We usually refer to it around here as DANDR. And we refer to it quite a lot, because it gives all the relevant information.

Be aware of the Atkins Nutritional website, too. atkins.com Lots of answers and information there.

Consistency and patience. Pay attention to your own needs. We'll be around when you have questions and challenges.

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Barb L.
Atkins since Jan 2003
Maintenance as of 4/05


My Fitday Journal

Melinda - welcome! And Sorry about your father. You'll do well on whatever plan you choose if you come here for support often. You sound determined to get your life back and determination is half the battle. Don't feel that family and friends let you down, not everyone is equipped to be leaned on. And family members had their own ways to deal with your fathers death. They may not have had the emotional strength to help you at that time. Start with now and don't look back. Read the book for whichever plan you choose. That is key!

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my blog

Welcome, Melinda.

I hope you'll make yourself at home!

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Welcome Melinda, sorry to hear of the loss of your father...I know losing mine would be hard.

Get the Book for your chosen plan, read it cover to cover then go back and read the portions pertaining to induction or the beginning of hte plan and follow it closely. You will do great.

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Lori

232/190/130
My other journal http://www.lowcarbeating.com/bb/showthread.php?t=1130

Hi Melinda. Welcome!

We will all do our best to support and encourage you. I too have tried LC before as well as low-fat (Weight Watchers) and I always come back to LC and this website. I've given up several times, but keep getting back up and starting again. As long as you do that, you haven't failed yourself.

Again, welcome

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Staci

Hi Melinda - I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father, I pray for the peace that passes understanding for you and that your relationships with your friends & family will be resolved.

This site is a wonderful tool - with lots of people out there to get information from. The one suggestion I can make is log in daily, post daily, and check out fitday.com. It's a wonderful tool to keep an accurate count, plus there are a few 'reports' you can do that show you the total for the weekly numbers, and all kinds of other stuff.

Welcome - and good luck!

Dee

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261 - 211 - 155 :jumpgreen

Hi Melinda! I, too, am very sorry to hear about your father.
I know you will succeed this time. This board is full of wonderful people who are willing to listen & offer their support. As you start out, take it one day at a time, and don't be afraid to vent here. Also, don't forget to come & share your successes-- I KNOW you will be a success.

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Melinda, I'd like to add my condolences to the rest of these about your father. Mine no longer speaks to me and I fear the day he is gone.....without our ever speaking again.
Anyway, you have come to the right place for help, comfort, and support. May I suggest some additional reading? Dr.Phil's (I know he's not for everyone) book titled "The Ultimate Weight Solution, 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom" has alot of practical help in it for someone who is an emotional eater. I went through a study of this book a year ago, and it has helped me tremendously. The first 2 Keys are about getting your thinking right and healing past hurts. I think you'll find it helpful....if you are truly ready to gain control of your life and your body. It sure sounds like you are. Take care. And please make yourself at home.

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Hello and welcome to our "family"!

Let me add my condolences at the loss of your father.

My two big tips for weight loss are 1-EDUCATION (study, research, read, ask) and 2-SUPPORT (this website!!!!) If your friends and family are not providing what you need, perhaps we can help.

To your health and success!
Kelly

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Kelly
Highest recorded weight: 103.2kg/227.04lbs (03/15/08)
Current: 97kg/213.4lb-13.64
Goal:150
"Resensitizing myself to the urgency and severity of my weight problem is important in keeping myself motivated. I have to remind myself that my body will not tolerate this abuse forever." Jeannette Fulda, aka PastaQueen

Thank you everyone!! To see how many people responded it just made me feel this is the place for me. I cant express how grateful I am for all of your kind words.

I have decided to start on Atkins. I will purchase his book once I leave work today and start reading and get started on induction. Oh this is going to be the toughest part because I know the first 2 weeks will be hard but it will be worth it. I think I just need variety in my foods so I dont get bored with the same things. That is what got me to stop before but I know there are alot of recipes out there that I need to check out so I can make my meals differently each day.

I have alot of looking around to do on this site, not even sure where to start but I am excited and happy to of found this place.

Thank you again.

Hi Melinda. Let me add my welcome and also my condolences. I, too, was very close to my dad and lost him last May. It is something I still am dealing with every day.
This is a wonderful community and I hope you like it here. Make yourself at home. Ask any questions you have. The only stupid questions are the ones you don't ask! Ask away! The people here are so friendly and knowledgeable. Take your eating plan one day, one meal, one snack at a time. Set small goals. Sometimes looking at the final goal can seem too intimidating. You can do this! We believe in you!
Hang in there..keep your chin up..and I hope to see you posting often!
~Crystal

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Started Atkins-1/2/04
174 lbs at heaviest



5'0 154/136.5/130

Thank you Crystal,

I am sorry to hear about your father also, if you ever want to talk I am here.

Today is my 1st day on Atkins. I havent bought the book (I know...I need to) its just my car is broken right now so I havent been able to go out & purchase it. I might just order it online. So, I am getting all my induction information online and I really hope & pray that I can do this.

Thank you for all of your encouragement.