Thread: HELP!!! need advise for marital harmony (diet related!)

As with any other issue in life, people who live in the same household are allowed to agree to disagree.

Personally, I will not foist my way of eating upon ayone in my own household, including my husband. I cook the food in this house, so I cook what everyone likes, and then I cook what I choose to eat. My husband, over the past few years, has researched for himself the pros and cons of eating low fat versus low carb. He has chosen (finally!) a modified low carb eating plan, and finds himself losing weight consistently (finally!).

He did this all on his own. I did not prompt him to do it. It had to be HIS choice.

Now he eats like I eat. He's on his own for all of his meals except dinner, and knows how to prepare them, as does so. I think he finds great satisfaction in knowing that he is eating healthier and that HE made the decision based on HIS research, and eats his own food that HE prepares. He even shops for the food he eats and makes informed decisions that way.

The point I'm trying to make is this: if your husband has made a choice to eat low fat, then that's his decision. Apparently he has researched that way of eating and is more comfortable with it. If he doesn't like the food you prepare, tell him to prepare his own. That way, he'll be responsible for his own way of eating. If he loses weight, he owns that. If he doesn't, he owns that, too.

I hope this helps.

It's amusing. I cook the meals in our household around 5 days out of 7. These year, every menu has been low-carb. My DW chooses to eat my dinner plan 9 times out of 10. It's usually very healthy regardless of diet type. Last night it was salmon and asparagus. The night before, it was turkey parmesan and french cut green beans. She is not doing any kind of lc-diet. She sometimes cooks potatoes/pasta as a side dish if there's something she doesn't like.

I don't see how Atkins/low-carb is necessarily high fat. Sure I make a mean Zucchini Carbonara and Steak now and then. But the key to weight loss without starvation is to avoid the sugar/starches.

ps Even on his "low-fat" plan, peanut butter probably does more harm than good! Although, I did enjoy a nice lc pbnJ the other night for a treat.

pps My wife read the label on the low-carb bread and was shocked to discover that it was completely healthy from a artificial preservative perspective...

I've been doing healthy choices little by little over the past year and a half. My family doesn't seem to get bothered by it so much because it is subtle. Maybe you could compromise a bit...maybe turkey bacon? smart butter (sappose to be good for cholesterol)? wonderlight bread is only 40 calories and 6 carbs per slice... one of the best things I've done for this family is not cut out our loves but just eat them in moderation if their isn't the healthiest alernative. Instead of concentrating on telling him how many carbs in something, let him know of maybe the low calories in it? Good luck with this!

Ed -

Btw - that's a great article in the NY Times. It's a beautiful link to send to family and friends that might be doubters...

I was just laughing thinking...sometimes I get pretty heated during things like this because I hate feeling I'm controlled. I know dh's try to help but sometimes they can be bossy. I'd lose it and yell...

YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO AND I'LL DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO. WHO EVER DIES FIRST LOSES DR. KNOW IT ALL!

Then I'd eat a huge slab of cheese and do my dramatic death scene. Why dh stays with me has to be because I'm weird and he wants to see what I'll do next.

It's nice to have a husband who will eat whatever I put in front of him, no questions, usually no complaints, unless I have tuna, which he does not like. When I decided to do lowcarb, he agreed to do it, too, because he had about 40 lbs to lose. Now that he's lost all he needs to, he still eats what I eat, because he knows how hard it is, and I have a tremendous way to go yet. He could eat at maintenance level, adding more fruit and some grains, but he chooses to eat the way I do, although he does eat low carb bread from time to time, which I usually avoid. He's even learned how to make the one-minute muffin, and makes his own breakfast, something he never used to do; he'd skip breakfast before.

Wish I could give you some tips or insight, but I think that because I have it so good, (Brag brag brag), I just don't know what to say to someone who has disagreements over food. Hope you sort it out.

my family eventually decided to go lc--after they saw my progress. the best arguement for it to a reluctant spouse is success.

for me, to make things easier when i started, i'd make one meal, but add a couple of sides for the carb-eaters. i often picked stuff i was less interested in at first, to make it easier to pass up. after a while, i didn't want it any more.

if you do the shopping, you get to pick out the tortillas and pnut butter...or whatever. hhmmmm.

if it were me, i'd stay low-key and stop talking about it, feed him all the delightful lc stuff you eat (and get a good cookbook so you can make some special treats to tempt him) without making an issue of it being lc, plenty of veggies, just plain good food. he'll probably come around as you continue to do well and he finds the foods you're eating apealling. that's my prediction, anyway.

good luck!

Thanks to everyone for your insight. I'm trying to stick to the lower fat meat dishes and we can each have our own sides.

Maybe he'll lay off the flour products on his own, I won't hold my breath.

Until then, I'll just do what I gotta do to take care of me and try to make him happy too!

Lisa

My DH and I do LC, but like other people have said... his body - his choices. If he ever chose to eat a different way, I'd cook like I do now, and just throw in a carby side-dish for him and the kidlet. Our son chooses to eat our meals 9 out of 10 days (he's 5), but if he wants peanut butter or spaghettios ocassionally, he can have them.

I figure that I do the grocery shopping, I buy the food, I get to pick out the food! Just don't buy the crappy peanut butter and tortillas. If they are that important to him, he can get to the store and buy them himself. Send him some articles on the evils of trans-fats and it might help him turn off of those things