Well, this is humbling. I guess I can at least take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one to have succeeded at the LC WOE, gone off the LC WOE, gained back everything lost (and then some), attempted to lose weight using other methods, and then finally decided to come back around to the LC WOE because it really does work... and I'm all out of hope. I can also take comfort in choosing to return, rather than continuing to beat myself up about having done SO WELL on this WOE four years ago and NOT returning. Showing up, however sheepishly, has to be a sign of something good. Right?

So, I'm back.

I first started posting in late November 2002 as "Hopeful in Hollywood." As I got comfortable with everyone here, I came out as "Bon" (my name). And when we moved over from an older version of the board to a new version, I became an LCE Supporter and everything. I was feeling sooooo good. This would've been around April 2003, I believe. I dug out my old version of the signature... here it is.

Bon (AKA Hopeful in Hollywood)
210/181/165
Atkins since 12/15/02


Ah... that's humbling.

So, now I don't even know what I weigh. I know the last time I stepped on a scale (two years ago), I was up to 240 (my record high) and I'm still wearing the same jeans I was wearing then, so I'm going to say that's a pretty good estimate of my current weight.

In good news, since I last played with you fine people online, I learned that I have a gluten intolerance. Coming off gluten has CHANGED MY LIFE. Luckily, gluten-free eating and LC eating work well together, so I'm not expecting a major shock to the system (except for getting all of the evil sugar out of my body). If anyone wants to know more about the symptoms that led me to explore wheat gluten as a poison in my body (which it is), just let me know. It's been an amazing process of discovery. And despite the fact that I am the HEAVIEST I have ever been, I am also the HEALTHIEST I have ever been.

It's weird! I'm fit. I'm healthy. Chronic health problems I had for decades have disappeared due to my choice to remove wheat gluten from my diet. Unfortunately, I'm just BIG BIG BIG... and that doesn't fit with how I FEEL. I'm so healthy and happy... yet so overweight and miserable. Such a paradox!

So, today I began Atkins for the second time in my life. First time was almost four years ago... I happily lost 30 pounds and looked amazing, even though I never reached my goal weight. I am blessed to be one of those tall, broad-shouldered women with great boobs... and I happen to look seriously smokin' at size 18. I guess I never realized how great a distance there is between size 18 and size 24. My boobs are now lost beneath a layer of hatred and self-doubt (which is far more damaging than the weight itself). And even though I'm tall and try to walk proud (with my shoulders back) I am constantly tugging on my clothes to try and cover parts I don't want anyone to see. My uniform is jeans and a black cami/duster set... I used to wear red.

Luckily, I have a very supportive husband (Oh! That's a bit of news, from those who remember me from four years ago... we were engaged then... married now. Yippee!) who loves to cook and who did Atkins along with me in 2002 and wants to do it again now (he too has gained weight... I think we weigh the same... but he has three inches on me, height-wise, and he's... a DUDE, heh heh). So, we enter induction and hope that your support and encouragement will help us through the rough patches.

I'm glad my old log-in still works here! I've updated my signature file... wow... I'm scared to hit the "submit" button on this post. It feels like jumping off a high-dive into a cold pool... or perhaps like introducing myself at an AA meeting. Time to feel the fear and do it anyway. Here goes!

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Bon (AKA Hopeful in Hollywood, circa 2002)
size 22/24 (don't know my weight)... first goal: size 18... ultimate goal: size 12
Atkins again 10/30/06

Bon, welcome back, and it's nice to meet you. Big hug to your DH for starting this new journey with you. Mine has lost 40 lbs, doesn't have much more to lose, and is sticking with it for my sake as well as his.

It doesn't matter if you are a size 24 or a size 12, if you love to wear red, then wear it! I do! It makes me feel good.

Hope to see more of you here on the forum, and "less" of you when you get to your goal.

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Nita

Hi Bon!!! I do remember you and am so glad you found your way back. Good to hear the news that you are feeling well and MARRIED (congrats)

Welcome back--and hope you stay a while.

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BC
LC Since 1998
Highest Weight 172
Current 104-108

Hi Bon....I wasn't here when you were here before...but welcome back anyway. I look forward to getting to know you.

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Vickie

Meeeeee tooooooo! *sigh of relief* Good to see you're still looking like such a rockstar. Awesome!

Thanks! Here's a photo of us with hubby's son.

I sure as heck NEED TO! *whew* It feels sooooooo uphill... but I know it has to be done. Ugh. Just so much WORK. Being lazy and not counting carbs is sooooo easy when you feel healthy already. But feeling healthy isn't enough. Even if I am FIT at this weight, it's not good for my heart in the long run to carry this much extra weight around. Time to do the work and KEEP doing the work.

Nita and Vickie, thank you SO MUCH for the warm welcome. I really did enjoy my (almost a whole) year on the Low Carb forums before. Everyone is just so wonderful. It's very odd to feel like such a newbie again... yet having gone through all of this before too. Weird. But, I'm glad I jumped in the pool again, just the same.

Here's a toast of WATER to you all. Thanks for the welcome back!

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Bon (AKA Hopeful in Hollywood, circa 2002)
size 22/24 (don't know my weight)... first goal: size 18... ultimate goal: size 12
Atkins again 10/30/06

While I did not know you when you first began, I wanted to tell you it is nice to have you back........ I have been on this board for almost two years, and there is nothing like the support you will get here. I can presume that is your wedding picture...... simply beautiful. I do so miss not living by a coast... but there is something to be said for the midwest! I hope to get to know you more as time goes on. Welcome back!

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196/135-135

Hi Bon,
Just wanted to say hello, there was so much in your post...
I also wasn't here on your first go around but I've been doing this low carb lifestyle for 10 months and know first hand how wonderful it is. That's why I say I'm glad you're back.
chesnut

Bon - Nice to see you; Welcome Back! I love you picture. You DO look healthy and fit. Good luck restarting your Low Carb Journey!

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my blog

Welcome back, Bon.

Congratulations on your marriage!

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Bon!!!!
Oh my goodness!!!! I have wondered about you from time to time! It's SOOOOOOO good to *see* you again! I can remember we would be in chat together at times.
(I have the DD that used to live in No Hollywood).
A BIG congrats on your marriage, and a LCE welcome back!
You can do it!!

Shelley

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Shelley
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Visit Kassie's Korner



Life deserves a treat now and again, but life also deserves being healthy[with required disipline] to make it worth living!

Y'all rock. Seriously.

Thank you sooooooooo much for making me feel welcome (again).

Very excited to have this process underway. I've scheduled a very "light" week as far as public obligations, as I remember induction flu being particularly rough back in 2002.

But I woke up this morning VERY optimistic. Something about having this network of support here... it really does make all the difference. THANK YOU for being here. I already feel amazingly successful. And isn't that what really keeps us on track? Phew! THANK YOU. I'm filled with gratitude (and water).

Cheers,

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Bon (AKA Hopeful in Hollywood, circa 2002)
size 22/24 (don't know my weight)... first goal: size 18... ultimate goal: size 12
Atkins again 10/30/06

Hi Bon -

Welcome back! No, I wasn't here when you were here before, but I'll be here to help you on the journey the second time around. You know you can do it. I know you can do it. Now that you've made the decision, it's just a matter of time before you're back in your size 18 clothes and you know it! I _love_ the support on this board. You picked a hard time to start (just before the holidays), but then again, there's no time like the present!

Congratulations on the nuptials (and the son that came as a bonus ) My new son is due to arrive in a couple of weeks and Mommy and big-sister-to-be (now aged 2) are looking forward to it.

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Sven
305/218/200
Start Date: 1/1/06

Welcome to low-carb eating.
The food's not bad here.

Y'know, I've always done best when I start an effort like this just before the holidays. I don't know why, but I think it's just the excitement of thinking about how GOOD I will look when I show UP at these holiday events, having even lost 10 pounds! And sure, it'll be hard to get through the holiday meals and toasts of booze without a "higher carb" day here and there, but it'll be sooooo easy to stay focused, when I hear, "Wow! You look GREAT," at these events.

Very strange, but I tend to start "diets" in November and December. In fact, I started the LC WOE and my time at this site in December of 2002. I guess it's a jumpstart on any resolutions I may want to make for the New Year.

Thanks for the encouragement! And congrats on your new son on the way!! Very exciting!

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Bon (AKA Hopeful in Hollywood, circa 2002)
size 22/24 (don't know my weight)... first goal: size 18... ultimate goal: size 12
Atkins again 10/30/06

Hi........... OMG you just told my story! I too had great success 3-4 years ago! Thought I had a handle on things, thought I could loose weight other ways and today I am the heaviest I have ever been!!

I started back TODAY, and I am totally excited !! Even hitting the gym tonight! My plan is to actually step on the scale in the morning tomorrow - RU With me?????

I love the enthusiasm. Just don't let the scale get you down!

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Sven
305/218/200
Start Date: 1/1/06

Welcome to low-carb eating.
The food's not bad here.