Oh man I am so miserable. I had 9 strait days of being good, following my plan to the best I could and now I feel I can't get back up.Just when I thought I had maybe lost an inch, too.

Telling myself I could just have one mini mounds bar on Friday night was like telling an alcoholic he/ she could just have one beer. Before I knew it, I was dipping a kit kat into the natural peanut butter and OH MAN WAS IT GOOD! I can't tell you how much junk I put in my mouth from then until today, which is monday and OMG, I am a mess. I should have had a nice, high protein lunch by now but I can't decide what to eat because I have already had 6 hershey miniatures, two hard boiled eggs, toast with butter, two cups of coffee with 2 tsp. of sugar- not splenda, 3 whole wheat crackers and a handfull of honey roasted peanuts. I told myself I was going to start fresh today but I think skipping the splenda in my coffee made me WANT THAT SUGAR.

Yesterday when I seperated from my BF for a little while, I was still on the sugar high from all the leftover candy I had been sneaking and stopped at 7-11 to get a bag of peanut M&M's and an oatmeal cookie. I find that being on this restrictive diet is only good if I NEVER EVER cheat because once I do, I can't control myself and I eat everything I have been wanting the whole time I've been good.

I feel ashamed and I guess I can begin again, yes I think maybe I can start again and I think maybe I'll try to go and get some protein because I know that it is still important.

I wanted to start again at the gym today and now I'm afraid that If I start induction again, I'll have 5 more days of zero energy and can I still pull off working out? I dunno. Damn it, why can't I remember how CRAPPY the sugar makes me feel, how it depresses the hell out of me and has my BF wondering, what's wrong honey? Nothing honey except I'm crashing from all the sugar you didn't see me eat and I hate myself becasuse I can't entice you with a slender, curvey body.

Saturday I was walking down the street with a bottled frappucino (one of the things i had been craving) and this stranger standing on the side of the street said to me out of nowhere, "hey you like those things? It's sweet though, those things, they're too sweet!) I've never seen this guy before and don't consider myself to be more than a little chunky (I'm 5'10, 145) but yet he said this to me when I was feeling SUCH GUILT and I thought, oh man, GOD is talking to me. I felt like Joan of Archadia!!

I commed you all for sharing your holloween slips but I think you all have amazing strenght! I know I am just venting here and no one can help me but me but maybe just telling my sad measure of self control will help me get it out, put it behind me and get myself through the rest of this day without making it worse. Man, what SHOULD I have for lunch. Chicken? Oh I guess. The only good thing about 20 carbs a day is there's nothing left on the menu to crave. I literally loose my appetite.

You're 5'10" and 145#? That actually seems on the thin side to me.

Cheers!

Jen
Started Atkins 5.5.03
196/179/155

Hey Poka,

Put your cato'ninetails away and stop beating yourself up. You got it off your chest, which is just what you needed to do. And you came to the right place. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get right back on that horse. You can ALWAYS start again. That's the beauty of this WOL. Heck, start righ now, not tomorrow. Drink a TON of water, go for a walk, eat some meat and veggies and get RID of the tempting stuff. Make yourself some whipped cream sweetened with splenda and cocoa powder. Have a 1/4 cup or even 1/2 cup if you need to. Savor every bite and remember that is far better than a candy bar or cookie or any of that other junk. You might want to dig deep down and try to figure out why you are sabotaging yourself. Ya know, you are WORTH a better way of eating. You deserve all the health benefits from it. Keep telling yourself this. Pretty soon your mind will believe you as will your heart and soul. YOU DESERVE A BETTER WAY OF EATING!!!!! Remember what poison sugar is to your body. It's POISON...poison....poison.(in my Wicked Witch of the West voice) YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!



Barb
Atkins-3/14/03
174/146/135
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

I was thinking the same thing...

Sus

450/387/200

DOT,

Ya gotta stop kicking yourself. brush it off. You're not perfect, I'm not perfect, nobody here is perfect.

for me, this wol/woe is "better choices MOST of the time". Pick yerself up, dust yerself off and start again now.

Hugs.

Ditto, ditto, ditto. This is a way of life, and you will make mistakes! That's OK. For lunh garb a big ole chef's salad - not strictly induction level fare depending on size, but one heck of a step in the right direction.

Jen
175/130/120

Polkadotsox you are so not the only one in that situation. I'm not going to go into the gorey details of what I did this weekend, but let's just say that I'm not feeling too well.

I got right back on the treadmill this morning, am jugging the water here at work, and am looking towards re-inducting.

194/179/125 (5'4)

And I'm gonna make it this time!

I should have told you what I ate this weekend as well! But I'm not gonna Back on the wagon again today.

Jen
175/130/120

thank you all SO MUCH! I know I shouldn't beat myself up about this but I am just ashamed at the power sugar has over me and it's difficult to live with the fact that I can't seem to have "just a little" It's depressing because there are so many foods I enjoy.

My dearest BF just told me he wants to move in with me and we both are trying to eat low carb (to loose fat & build muscle, neither of us are "overweight" on any chart, we just have spare tires and flab.)

We are planning on buying a Crossbow together, too, so maybe the new equipment and undivided support will help as well.

Thanks everyone for listening to me ramble.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> My dearest BF just told me he wants to move in with me <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good Luck to you both.. I wish you the very Best!!!

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-..
215/178/160
37 Gone
18 to go!!

If your BF moves in maybe you will find something else to do besides think about sweets (the sugary kind anyway)if ya know what I mean. Have a blast, and burn those calories!!!

Jackie