Thread: *I really need help with putting my M-In-Law on low carb diet *

Hi, I really hope I can get some sound advice here, firstly, background on my m-in-law - she is 57 years old - she is "overweight" - probably by at least 50 - 80 lbs .. (I'm a bad judge) - anyway, she has UN-COUNTABLE medical issues - but firstly let me say - she just asked HER physician if she can go on Atkins and he says "yes" - but I'm still wondering if it's the "right" thing for her to embark on ... I told her I'm willing to help her, cook for her or whatever (my background is I've been on and off Atkins - but I'm a "thin" person ... so it's not like I really have any diet issues .. but I'm willing to do it again to HELP her !)

About her condition: firstly, she has tremendously high cholesterol, in the 300 some range, and the good and bad's in it - are ALL outta wack ... then, she has adult onset diabetes, and now she's been really having bad spells with "falling" and eye infections etc ... and anyway she just went in for emergency tests (i.e., MRI, checking for blockage in her neck arteries etc ...) - and provided that those tests come back ok - does anyone think I should embark on getting her on Atkins or am I asking for trouble?

See, even though she's diabetic - she STILL cheats extremely bad - when she knows she is supposed to limit sugar - she'll come home with a KING SIZE snickers bar and say - "I don't care! I want it and I'm going to eat it !" ... so I have told her it's 100% imperative that she NOT CHEAT On this diet or we are in for some serious problems ..... I don't live with her - so I don't know if I can trust that she won't cheat ... and I don't want the family blaming me for the "cursed" diet that they are all against .. if something goes wrong with her! (((Everyone has always balked at me when I've done atkins ... "It's unhealthy etc .." - so anyway - you know she has serious health issues - but should I try it or not ?!?!? I just want her to be around, and I figure if I can help - I'd like to help ! HELP !

Hi Pretty in Pink

You are in a tough spot. Should you try to help your MIL - yes, you should always try to help a loved one. Will she stay on the Atkins Plan - she won't if she does not want to. Hate to sound like a cliche, but she has to want this for herself. I know how tough this can be I WANT to stay on plan, but sometimes I DON'T. Most all of us slip at one time or another. We're only human.

Wishing you the best in your effort to help your MIL.

Becky

Becky,

Take a deep breath, ok? I know how very much you are concerned for your MIL. But please let me be frank, based on my own very similar experience.

You can't do it for her
You can't make her do it
You can't "get her" on Atkins
You can't "put her" on Atkins
You can't prevent her from cheating

She will resent lectures (remember being a teenager?)
She will resent feeling as if you are trying to run her life
She will resent not feeling trusted
She will resent feeling manipulated
After all, she is human
And she is an adult

What you can do is tell her you care for her, and ask her if and how she would like to be supported:

Would she like more information on LC plans and how they work?
Would she like you to buy her a new DANDR? (You reread it ok?)
Would she like you to share recipes?
Would she like you to send her articles about people with diabetes who have succeeded on LC plans?
If she has a computer, would she like you to show her how to become a member?
Would she like to talk to you along the way about how she's doing?

Becky, certainly put your hand out and offer your help, support, and encouragment--and others here might have more ideas about how to give that. But let her have the dignity she is entitled, of accepting your help or not. If she is not willing to be responsible for her own health, she will never succeed by anyone else forcing her.

Let us know how it goes, ok?



BC
172/108/108--5'2"
Zone since 4/98

Pretty, I see you are from the Chicago area. Are you and MIL from Chicago or a burb? I ask because I am from the burbs and am going to start an LC support group a week from Tuesday, on Feb 24th at Ruby Tuesday's at 7pm. It's on Gary Ave. and Schick in Bloomingdale across from Stratford Square Mall. I am going to address the myths of LCing the first night, and some of which I will be addressing the health benefits. If you guys can come, she might be more willing to listen to others who are embarking or have been on LC. Ruby Tuesday's was one of the first Restaurants to roll out their LC menu. They have an LC cheesecake that is to die for. It's kinda pricey, but every bite is D-LISH, and if she wants sweet treats, this would be a good way to show her she can still have them, but they won't harm her health. Is she able to travel?

The address of the restaurant is:
140 Gary Avenue, Bloomingdale
Phone is 630 893-8100

The manager, Jen Bulian is all in favor of meetings there. I hope you both can join us.

You might want to pick up a copy of Protein Power by the Eades and Secret to Low Carb Success, by Laura Richard. Secret.... tells about MOST LC plans. Some are better for certain people than others. They are not ALL the same.

Hope this Helps

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development


Atkins-3/14/03
174/144/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

Hi ! thanks so much for those extremely helpful replies!!! I will definitely go into this much more confident now ...

Becky, thanks so much - you are right - we are only human ... I guess I have to remember that cuz God knows I've been the Queen of Cheaters being on and off .. but I know I need to stay focused for her sake if we do this together ...

BC, those words were absolutely wonderful everythig you said - and I really want to read your post to her - or at least re-iterate it to her since she doesn't have a computer. But she honestly said - she "wants" me to cook for her, and she "wants" me to help her ... so I will just try and make sure she understands that we have to "not" cheat as much as possible ....

And Barb as far as the support group that sounds AWESOME, but we are in a suburb called Oak Lawn, so it's a bit far from where you are - but I will defintely try to find some around here - never knew they had them .... awesome !

I will keep everyone posted, and thanks again! I really need to research better "which" LC diet is actually best for a diabetic ... but I don't know where to start! Any ideas ?

Too BAD Pretty, it would have been wonderful to have you 2 join us.

As for where to start.......hmmmm, I would say to start with one of those books I mentioned. I'm not diabetic, nor have I had any experience with diabetes thankfully. But I would guess that Atkins is a really good plan for diabetics, because the first 2 weeks are really restrictive as far as carbs goes. She needs to break the sugar addiction cycle, NOW. There's a beginner's guide up at the top of the page which you could print out for her. There's also a Diabtic's forum here. Let me know if you need help finding it. If you get Jonny Bowden's book OR Laura Richard's book (Barnes and Noble's for both) those will give you a blueprint of all the most popular plans and how they work. Any LC plan that is very restrictive on the sugar would work fine, just make sure you get the book of THAT plan and read up. There's nothing more powerful than knowledge!!!!!!!

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development


Atkins-3/14/03
174/144/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

Pink, "Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution" is the classic text for LC'ing diabetics. It's available at Amazon, through booksellers, and here.

Remember, though, that your mother MUST work with her physician about her plan, because her meds will need to be adjusted. This won't be "your" plan to pick. It has to be hers and her physicians. Please do post for more help in our diabetic forum, where those with similar issues will be more likely to see your post and help.

Your heart is certainly in the right place, and I hope your MIL can find the courage and strength to regain her health.



BC
172/108/108--5'2"
Zone since 4/98

You've already been given great advice.
I just wanted to suggest that you print out The Diabetes Diet War for her (and read it yourrself).

Since she's a diabetic, it's also vital that she only attempt low carbing with support and monitoring from her diabetes specialist.

Good luck.



Always eat your veggies first!
LCE member since March 2002