Thread: Struggling... need understanding/encouragement

Okay, guys and gals, I've been trying to figure out what I need and how I need to do things and it's just not working! I just can't figure it out. I guess I should warn you that this is a bit of a vent, but I need to because there is noone around me that understands...

I have been LCing in one form or another since Jan 12, 2003. I am very happy with my results... have lost between 55 and 60 pounds. As you can see from my sig line, I started out on CALP then switched to Atkins. The first time I switched to Atkins, I "gave up" after 6 weeks and tried to go back to CALP but never really made it back. So... after having a miscarriage in May, I decided that I'd better get on the ball, lose this weight, and develop healthy eating habits before getting preggers again.

I've done really well, but lately it's been hard. My mind is messing with me. Some days I'm just tired of counting carbs... so, I think "Well, maybe if I just eat LC stuff and don't count that would work". Loosen up, ya know? But, then other days it's not that much effort to count carbs, so I think "Well... I probably should be counting carb so I can find my CCLL and then stick with that." Then, other days, I see what my skinny DH eats (and what the rest of the world eats) and think "Gees, I wish I could just eat 'normal' like everyone else." I'm SO tired of having to watch what I eat. BUT, I know that I must or I will end up back where I started. This is my cross to carry (or at least one of them ).

Losing weight has been my main focus for the past year and a half, and I just want to live normally... to not be constantly thinking about it. When does this become natural, if ever??? When will it be (like Dr. I says) just as much a part of my being as brushing my teeth?

UGGHH!!! I am about 9 pounds away from my original goal, and 14-19 pounds away from what I think will be my final goal. But, I have only been doing Atkins for 2 months this time around. Is it time to stop counting carbs? I see people that get so focused on carbs, calories, etc., but if I do that I will just drive myself crazy!!! How hard should I work at this?

I know that I need to get some of this figured out, but just can't seem to get there. I also need to get my attitude adjusted and be in a right frame of mind about my eating before getting preggers again, or I will just use that as an excuse to eat what I want and not eat very healthily (is that a word?).

Why is this so hard some times? Anyone else been here, or am I alone in feeling these feelings and just a freak of nature? I imagine that I'm not alone and someone else has been here (or at least somewhere close to here). I just don't have anyone around me to talk to, and sure wish I did.

To make matters worse, I have a VERY challenging August... birthday party/BBQ on the 8th, BBQ on the 9th, wedding on the 14th, child's bday party on the 16th, surprise 60th Bday party for FIL on the 21st, possible Rockies baseball game on the 22nd, and... our 4th wedding anniversary was yesterday, but don't know when we'll celebrate it... most likely not until September. Anyway, last night I'm thinking... "maybe I should just take August off"... but, if I do that I know I will gain at least 5 (if not 10) pounds. Then, I think... okay, don't want that... maybe I should just try and maintain in August. But, I know that deep down I really want to lose...

As you can see, I'm a bit of a nutcase right now... or at least that's how I feel. Any words of wisdom, understading, or encouragement will be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks!

Debby - I completely understand where you are coming from ! I started in May of last year, got to about 12 lbs from my goal and the quit losing, even gained 5 lbs. It is frustrating, isn't it? I try to keep in mind that even if I never lose another pound, I feel MUCH better, and I am in better health. I, too, have minor carb indulgences periodically, and I always try to concentrate on how crappy I feel.

One thing I noticed about your post is that most of the time you talked about how you "needed to do" whatever. I find, in my own mental dialogue, that when I talk about needing to do somethin, or should do something, or have to do something, that it has a pretty negative effect on me. So, I ALWAYS try so say (even mentally) that I want to do it. It's so much more positive. That does the trick for me.

Debby please understand that "normal" is what got you over weight in the first place.

Dig out some old photos and clothes, do you REALLY want to go back to that???

Normal is what your eating on this WOE NOW. Normal is NOT SUGAR,FLOUR,BREAD - heart disease, diabetes, cancer, shortness of breath.

Your 8-9 pounds from goal.

At this point, the losing is GOING TO BE SLOW. THAT IS NORMAL.

Oh Debby, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not stop now.

I was 30 pounds from goal, let the hard knocks life hit me with get to me and now I'm back at square one. I WAS down to a size 14 and losing, but then went back to "normal" and ballooned up to a 4X.

Hence why I'm hollering in this post.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

count your carbs, vary your menu and in all honesty?? If these upcoming events are making you tweak so far in advance?? I would skip them. Really. So often when special occasions arise we find ourselves faced with well meaning friends and family who INSIST that one piece of cake won't hurt us.

Their WRONG - it will hurt you.

How about posting a menu?? It sounds like you're in a rut and need some fresh ideas.

{{{{Debby}}}}

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. If it helps, know that I go through this, too; I think a lot of us do.
Just remember that you've just gone through a very stressful time, and have a stressful month ahead. This can have a real impact on your weight loss. And, you are getting close to goal. That can slow you down, too. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, it just happens.
I lost almost 90 pounds in two years, and then for the past 6 months or so, nothing. In my case I hit "the change" and everything slowed down to zero, no matter what I did. I wanted to give up, but I didn't. I've come to realize that I just have to ride it out. I am healthier, and that is important, too. I know that things will work themselves out in time.
And it will work out for you, too. Don't obsess about carbs; just try to keep yourself on an even keel. Don't let yourself feel deprived; make sure you have healthy treats. And share your feelings with us, 'cause we are always happy to listen, and sharing the burden makes it lighter for everyone.

Hi Debby. Hang in there! I've felt that way recently, too. But coming here, as always, helps keep me going. I have never committed to a healthy way of eating this long in my entire life. I think what helps to keep me on track is that I do not obsess about counting carbs. I know the right amounts to consume and I know when I've over done it. I feel comfortable with it all now. It truly does feel like brushing my teeth -- just a part of my every day life.

You can do it. Try to mix it up a bit with new recipes. And, for sure, don't deprive yourself of good, homemade LC treats occasionally. It really helps me to try these yummy recipes on this board.

Blessings to you!

debby-sorry to hear you're having a rough time for sure!

as far as carbs vs. normal...well, you have to watch your thinking here. because it's not the carbs that are the biggest time bomb in my opinion. it's starting to feel sorry for yourself and deprived.

for me, this means that i don't count carbs directly unless i find that i'm not going down for about a week. and even then, i just tend to restict myself more and eat few of the questionable/treat items. see, i know these things aren't really ideal and can lead to trouble, but i also know that sometimes eating this stuff allows me to avoid feeling deprived and left out. (i still have about 30 pounds to goal.)

i don't know as far as how to get out of that "diet diet diet" mentality. personally, i would say worry a little less about what you "should" do or what's allowed or following the "rules" or whatever and try to listen to your body and do what's working best for you right then. it's the rules stuff that seems to be getting you down.

so, you're having a day when you're feeling burdened by the carb-counting? then don't! feeling left out because of what other people are eating? find yourself an acceptable substitute. even if it's not a perfect choice, it's still WAY better than tossing in the towel. feel like counting carbs today? then do it.

i mean, yes, dr. atkins had a structured plan for a reason...to help people learn how to maintain. well, you are maintaining, right? not going up? if that's the case, then instinctively, you've found a ccl, even if you don't have an exact number for it.

the bottom line is that everyone has to find ways to make this fit into their own lifestyle. doesn't matter what's ideal, because we're not perfect. but i strongly believe that you can find "close enough" that works for you AND you can live with comfortably at the same time.

We are all in this with you. Never feel like you are alone! We can certainly relate to the way you are feeling. When you feel like nobody around you understands, remember that the people here understand. Hang in there Debby! We are here for you!

yep... variety is key... i havent had a pork rind in AGES..*L* after i got the hang of this woe i moved on to yummy stuff.. taco salads.. crab salads... all sorts of good things.. when cold weather comes i will no doubt go to making yummy stews.. soups.. ect...
*L* who am i KIDDING.. i will have HUSBAND make those things..*L* and grab the carls jr burger when on the run.. big deal... i was grabbing fast food before... the bunless one is no big jump..;-)

Well, Debby, as you can see, you are NOT alone!!!! You've gotten a lot of great replies. Misery loves company, eh? I gotta tell ya, after doing LC for almost a year and a half now, I DO NOT count my carbs anymore. It drove me absolutely nuts too!!!!! I am at a set weight right now, stuck, stuck, stuck. But that's okay. I am about 6 lbs from my goal weight and would like to lose another 10 or so lbs after that. But my loss is imperceptible right now. The Good Dr. Atkins says in his book that when you near your goal weight, loss SHOULD be almost imperceptible. (I'm being very successful at that!!! LOL)

As for all the gatherings................EAT BEFORE YOU GO!!!! Bring a dish to pass if you need to and have emergency stuff in the car, like nuts, jerky, or even veggies and dip in a little cooler. (whatever it takes) Be the "scout" and be prepared. But by all means, don't throw the towel in even just for the month of August. Now, if you are going to something where you might be active, say dancing or doing some walking, and if you can handle it mentally, allow yourself a "normal" treat at one of the functions. I do that once in awhile when I know I am going to burn it off just as fast as I have consumed it and it really doesn't cause a problem.

HTH