All right people, time for me to come clean. I tood a BIG detour off this path for about the past month. It started very small, as it always does, with a little something, then a little something more, then the cravings are back, then I feed them, then I am back in "what the h***" land, smack in all my old behaviors, cramming in the carbs. Argh! I did not get on the scale, because i said I wouldn't until Labor day, AND I didn't want to know. So who knows how much I gained, but my pants were getting tight right in all the places that tell me I'm gaining weight.

Around this time i tried to start rationalizing...LC is not that great, I just need to eat healthy and exercise (wait, isn't that LC??) I dont' NEED LC anymore. If there was any doubt that I am not sane when it comes to food, it's gone now. I was not only gaining weight but feeling less and less energetic, more cranky...the whole works. I was dragging myself to this site everyday but just going through the motions, not caring.

Finally last weekend I was able to gather a few sane thoughts. I said to my self; "You feel like crap. You are out of control in your eating. This is not working. You are again on the path to an early grave." Knowing what wasn't working led me, of course, to what does work for me, and that is LC. I was able to call up the memory of how physically good I feel when I am eating low carb and that helped me to make the decision to start back on Induction Monday.

Monday came and went and turned out to be a carb fest (don't ask). Fortuantely this strengthened my resolve somehow, and on Tuesday I started Induction for real. I'm probably not going to do two weeks, and the first 2 days were hellish. Headache, tired, cranky HUNGRY. In case I wonder if I'm a carb addict, I have only to live through the withdrawals to be reminded.

Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling that feeling--the energy, the spring in my step. I peed on a strip and sure enough I am in ketosis! My appetite has subsided, my energy has returned, and I feel that awesome feeling that I am in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing, and I'm one with God, the Universe and all good things. I know it sounds dramatic but it is what it is. Why on earth would I ever trade this feeling for anything????

Feel like I dodged a bullet--I dont want to keep repeating this idiotic behavior, but I guess that is my choice, every minute, every bite, every day. Thanks for being here everyone, and thanks for listening!

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Renee
1/19/04
261/220/160
41 lbs off
60 lbs to goal



Race to 199 Challenge
Labor Day Challenge: Focusing on the Journey
Personal Goal: 199 by 12/31/05

Excellent Renee! The past doesn't matter, only the future!

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my blog

reneee- i'm so glad to hear you're feeling better! and i couldn't agree with you more- every day, every minute, it's always a choice. you can always change, always improve your choices, and no feeling bad is required!

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WTG on seeing the light, good luck getting back on track

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http://www.livejournal.com/users/junee/

I've been here. In fact I KNOW lc works for me and I still go there sometimes but luckily can pull myself back from those thoughts now.

You've now gotten a taste of how good being good can feel once again, I hope things keep getting better and better.

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Noël


Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strengths.

Renee, that was a very insightful post - thank you!

I've gone through that loop a couple of times this year. In fact, I'm in a "mini" version of that loop right now! :yikes: I think I may need to revisit induction for a couple of weeks, myself. For me, a couple of days of induction doesn't work very well for getting back on track. As with most things in life, it just seems to take me longer to switch over my metabolism.
.

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~~~Teelbee
Back to GOAL!!!
start weight: 176/goal range: 137-134/now: 138
Reached goal in Aug. 2003 - 4rd year of maintenance.

Hey, Renee! Hey...."been there, done that"! (Bought the larger sized T-shirt!) Anyway, I am still working on losing the like 14 pounds or whatever I gained last Christmas! So, don't feel like the Lone Carber.

I felt exactly like you did: the first couple of days are hard...but when ketosis kicks in and that run-over-by-a-truck feeling goes away, it's great!

You know I am always here for you.....and we will BOTH be under 200 by the end of this year: we just have to require more of ourselves! Okay? OKAY!

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OK Maxibee, you are correct. I must require more of me. I used to like reading that in your sig, now I need to do it myself. The thing is, I know I can. I'm hoping my requiring more of me AND delivering the goods will help my choices and habits become second nature instead of things I need to be constantly stuggling against. Been reading lately about how the way we think about things is very powerful.

I'm still holding that goal of 199 by Dec 30. I said it out loud to DP yesterday, so now it's real. Yikes.

We will get there, Maxi. Thanks to everyone for your support. You guys keep me going!

__________________
Renee
1/19/04
261/220/160
41 lbs off
60 lbs to goal



Race to 199 Challenge
Labor Day Challenge: Focusing on the Journey
Personal Goal: 199 by 12/31/05

Thanks for opening up Renee! I've also been there - we're all in this together to support each other. I'm in it with you and Maxibee - that 199 will come before the end of the year.

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Angie



at least for now...