We will be visiting my mother over the Easter weekend and I'm already stressing over the comments I'm sure to receive about my weight loss and what I'm not eating. To top it off, there will most likely be a cake for my B-day which is the week before. (The cake will be for my DH too since his b-day is around the same time so I don't want to say "don't get me a cake" because it is his too. Plus everyone else might like cake.) I really don't want a piece of cake so that is not the problem. The refusal of cake will just lead to comments like "Oh come on, it's your B-day. One piece will not hurt you. Besides you look like the runnin' gears of a katydid." (That's West Virginian for "your too skinny".)

Does anyone have some supportive advice for me? I'm all ears. I just need to get in the right frame of mind and be ready to handle all comments with tact since I'm dealing with any overly sensitive mother.

(It is such a help to have this forum to discuss these kind of issues with those who have been through the same things.)

Thanks in advance!!
Beth

Hey Beth,
Family gatherings can be the *worst* to deal with, IMO.
I just always tell the folks, I am eating more healthy these days and I don't eat xxxxx(fill in the blank) anymore. And if they ask why, I simply say, I don't like the way xxxxx makes me feel after I eat it.
You can also add that xxxx(refined carbs/sugar) elevates your blood glucose levels and causes insulin surges. That is usually enough for most folks to back off of giving you the third degree.
Just be armed and ready with your own *legal* snacks...veggies, nuts, cheese, deviled eggs, or a special LC cake or cheesecake. (lots of recipes in the cooking section here to)
hth
Shelley

oh PS...I forgot to say...HAVE A HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

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Shelley
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Visit Kassie's Korner



Life deserves a treat now and again, but life also deserves being healthy[with required disipline] to make it worth living!

Hi Beth!

Well, first off, let me start by saying: I would PAY MONEY for someone to tell me that I'm looking 'like the runnin' gears of a katydid'!
But in all seriousness (I'm not making light of your predicament!), I think the ONLY way you can successfully deal with this is to change YOUR perspective.

Believe me, after years of trying to change others I can tell you, it ain't gonna happen. There is nothing that you can say or do that will MAKE your mother (or anyone else for that matter) respect you or your decisions. So you have to take a different approach.
You can stick to your guns and NOT have a piece of cake. AND you can take their comments with a grain of salt. The more you show that it bothers you, the more they will do it! Instead, try to consider their attempts at sabotage as REAL COMPLIMENTS and use them to bolster your decision to stay LC.
"Why, THANK YOU! I AM looking good, aren't I? Guess my low-carb woe is working!"

I don't mean to imply that your mother has evil intentions, but sometimes people don't even realize when they are being negative or counterproductive. If one approach (sincerely asking them to respect you and your decisions) doesn't work, then an alternate reaction is definitely required!
HTH,

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Summer

Or say, "I don't want to develop diabetes like so many other people". Or, take your own dessert to share, and don't say it's low carb. People will enjoy it, too, see you eating it, and not be the wiser. Like a nice cheesecake, perhaps. Decorated with some whipped cream and maybe some fresh berries.

Or, if it's going to be a big issue, get a really tiny piece of cake, take a nibble, shove the rest around on the plate, and then toss it.

I've made it known that I will NOT eat certain foods, so no one presses it anymore. They've gotten used to my eating habits, and they see I'm eating more healthy foods, so few comment on it anymore.

When we had our granddaughter's adoption party, I served cake at my daughter-in-law's request, and was dismayed that my diabetic friends were chowing down, big time, on the sweets. I felt a tad guilty, but then realized that it was their choice to eat the stuff. I'm not diabetic, and I didn't even lick my fingers when I made the cake. We also did not have sugary soft drinks. I made a punch with orange-pineapple juice and Splenda-sweetened 7-Up. (Which I didn't drink, either. Had to have someone else taste it to be sure it was ok!)

So, it can be done, if you stand your ground and say No, I won't eat this. Or, I don't want to eat this. Or, I really appreciate the thought, but I'm trying to stay away from sugar. You can be kind and tactful, and still not eat the sugar. After all, it's your body, and no one has the right to make you feel guilty for trying to do what's best for that body.

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Nita

I LOVE Nita's idea of taking a LC Cheesecake! They are SO good and you don't even have to tell them it's low-carb!

I also agree that it DOES get easier with time... Eventually, (if you stick to your guns and don't get wishy-washy) even well-meaning family and friends will stop pestering you. It just gets old for everybody.

You could even back up your LC woe with some of the popular Dr. Oz's feelings on sugar and refined carbs (if you haven't read or at least skimmed You: On a Diet, you really should - it's eye-opening). Anyway, to be brief, Dr. Oz (like Dr. Atkins) basically believes sugar and refined carbs are the absolute WORST things you could possibly be feeding yourself. One of my favorite quotes of his is "Stop freebasing sugar." LOL!

I think if you have 2 DOCTOR's opinions that support the belief that refined carbs and sugar are very bad for your health, what can people say? And besides... underneath, they're probably just saying that so you'll eat it too and they won't feel so bad about themselves eating it. I'm sure they know it's bad for you - how could a person not know these days?

Good luck! We're all pulling for you!! And have a fantastic birthday!

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Mada
221.6/193.8 <--- ONEderland! /sz 8

Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions. I do plan to take along legal snacks as a back-up and for the drive. My favorites are 1-minute muffins, mixed nuts, cheese and celery and peanut butter. I think I will take a LC cheesecake. I think this recipe looks wonderful. http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/nobake_...heesecake.htmlI want to try adding a crust made out of almond meal, melted butter and a little golden flax meal and bake it like a graham cracker crust. Then, I think I will add a layer of unsweetened chocolate/splenda coating to the crust ( found the recipe in several Peanut Butter Pie recipes online.) I'll use a pie plate and fill it with the cheesecake recipe. I will call it Peanut Butter Cup Pie. Who would not like that? (Plus, I will say I want to be like my grandmother who always baked her own birthday cake and then invited everyone over. She took matters into her own hands!)

I will get through this without causing any hard feelings. I know my mom does not have evil intentions. Once, when I was a teen, I lost a lot of weight, so much my period stopped. I may have been anorexic but that was before this disease was recognized. The doctor and my mom scared the heck out of me and I started eating again--and went back to my overweight self. This time it is not the same. I eat great! I have the energy to walk 3.5 miles per day. How can this be bad?

Besides, this WOE has been a life saver for me too. I have Crohn's and while I eat this way I have no problem. But it seems that wheat and sugar causes me intestinal problems. (I can use this reason to say no to the cake.) I discovered this when I started this WOE. Before that, it was recommended I eat low fiber, processed grains and no dairy to help clear up my problems. I secretively started this WOE (high fiber veggies, cheese and meats) and low and behold my problems when away!

Thanks for hearing out all my "stuff". It has been a great help to me.

Beth

Beth,

Be sure to check out our recipe database on this site, too! Just look for the COOK link at the top of the page... click on that and then go to COMMUNITY RECIPES, then click desserts and CHEESECAKE is the second one on the list. I think there are like 4 pages of cheesecake and low-carb crust recipes in there!

Regarding your Crohn's, have you ever been tested for Celiac Disease?
The current thinking in the medical community is that there are multiple "levels" of this disease. Once thought to only be a life-threatening allergy to wheat gluten, they now suspect that THOUSANDS of people actually have varying levels of wheat intolerance. This sort of intolerance often goes hand in hand with diagnoses such as Crohn's Disease and is often the REAL diagnosis behind such ambiguous labels as SPASTIC COLON or IRRITABLE BOWL SYNDROME.
Just google wheat intolerance and see what comes up... if it sounds pretty familiar, you might want to bring this up to your Gastrointestinal Dr...

I hope you have a wonderful birthday! It sounds like you are going to do just fine!

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Summer

You're right. If you think about it, it wouldn't be surprising to find various levels of wheat intolerance in the population. We humans didn't get into grain cultivation until relatively recently in our history. There are probably a large number of us that have some problem digesting it.

As for the cheesecake crust, my favorite is 2TB of butter melted, to which I add my sweetener (usually liquid splenda), 1/2 cup almond meal, 1/2 cup walnuts (ground, or just smash them in a ziplock with a rolling pin until they're smushed, then scrape them out with a rubber spatula) and a small dash of cinnamon. Spread or flatten into the bottom of my cheesecake pan and (if I'm making a cooked cheesecake) pre-bake at 325 for only about 5 min. since it's going to cook again. If you're not making a baked one, you might want to go a couple of minutes more, until it starts to get golden.

Just smile a lot and I suspect all will be fine.

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i feel your pain, hon. when i wasted away to a mere size 16, my mom was convinced i was just too skinny and becoming obsessed with the "low carb thing." i reassured her i was eating more healthy than i ever had in my life, popping vitamins like there's no tomorrow, feeling great, and would not shrivel away anytime soon.

on cheesecakes, i am also very fond of george stella's new york ricotta cheesecake. i have never had anyone -lc or not- even notice a difference.

good luck on your family functions!

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Fat Baggage- Is Yours Packed?

Maggie:

I'm going to use your crust recipe. It sounds perfect. Thanks!

Goddess:

As with many mother/daughter relationships, it is complicated with my mom. It may sound strange but it is actually her unrelenting desire to help that comes between us. I know when she gets the chance, (when it is just her, me and maybe my DD) she will let me know she thinks I'm too thin and remember the trouble I had before. I saw her last at Thanksgiving and that is what she did and I've lost more since then (about 5-7 lbs.). I'm just going to tell her it is not the same as when I was a teen and I'm feeling terrific! No more high blood pressure meds. No sore knees! Walking everyday! Great blood work results! My DH says I should say that my Dr. (meaning Dr. Atkins) says my body does not metabolize sugar and wheat properly and I should avoid them. That will sit well with her since she highly values anything a doctor says (she was an RN). We will see.

Beth

well, it looks from your profile like you don't have much left to lose, so knowing that may reassure her as well. good luck!

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Fat Baggage- Is Yours Packed?

hey, don't forget to let us know how everything went! 'cause i wonder about these things, ya know.

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Fat Baggage- Is Yours Packed?

Yeah! Me, too! Don't leave us hangin'!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & HAPPY EASTER!!

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Summer