I was looking at some photos and one of the before pics (credit goes to Goddess) had this caption:

"The pic that got me started again...I was a bit taken aback how difficult it was to just classify this chick as "plump," one of my oft-used euphemisms."

It made me think a little about how I too always felt beautiful and sexy other than a few occasions, no matter how big I got. And I got up to 319! I guess right at the top I was starting to feel sluggish after carrying around so much extra weight, but even to 280 and 300 I still knew when a guy was looking at me he was liking what he saw. Now, I know that sounds like I think I am miss hot stuff, but I don't. There are far far more pretty gals out there than I but...

I never felt as fat as I really have been.

Does that make sense to you? I think that is what Gloria was saying too in that caption and I hope to hear from her about it. I guess it is a good thing for self esteem, but it took seeing myself in pictures, seeing my reflection in windows and mirrors to finally get just how fat I'd gotten! Were the men actually looking at how fat I was? I don't know, but I certainly have seen it and am glad to be changing it. And I am thankful that no matter what, I always felt sexy and I think I have my husband to credit for that. While he has always told me our sex life would skyrocket if I lost weight, he has always treated me as sexy and beautiful and has been so encouraging in my weight loss pointing out my legs are slimming etc.

So did the mirror shock you? Have you always felt sexy or pretty? I'd love to hear.

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Hugs, Evie
sd 6/13/08
320/287/160
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The mirror never really shocked me. It is the pictures that got my attention. I guess I never saw myself as heavy as I truly was in pictures. I felt attractive but not sexy, if that makes any sense. I would laugh and call myself a fluffy chick. One of the reasons I feel more successful this time is I began to love "me" for me and not the me I could be if I lost x amount of pounds. I didn't put off things until I got skinny. I changed the channel in my mind and focused on health. I got back on stage...and recently wore a costume that was not the most flattering...but I wore it and danced and sang because I was proud of my talent and weight had nothing to do with it. I am more than the number on the scale. I am estatic that I am finding success in the weight loss arena but I am happier with the other things that have nothing to do with weight.

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That specific caption was mine, Evie, although I think many of us have had similar enough experiences, it could have been for anybody. And that beach pic did kinda wake me up.

As far as feeling attractive, it varied depending on the day. Heck, even now, I can look in the mirror three times in a single day and see three different people. But by and large, I tried to hide a lot back then. I didn't call attention to myself. I didn't get much attention because I went out of my way to avoid it.

People that have only known me post-weightloss are suprised when they see old pictures, and have difficulty imagining me as being quiet and retiring. Har!

I think it's cool when people can retain their sense of being desirable at different weights, and I think the attitude is far more important than the scale readout. But I know for me, my size impacted the attitude dramatically.

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Thanks so much! I had just returned to this post to correct myself on where the quote came from. I had seen another post by you signed Dix and I thought...oops!

Anyhow thank you for letting me know how you feel. So mainly you stayed quiet and now are much more outgoing. I too think I will be more social when I lose more.

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Hugs, Evie
sd 6/13/08
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Join me on myspace and let me know you're from here!
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There is always that one pic that sort of slaps you in the face. For me it is was the one in my last show. I thought all the girdle contraptions I was wearing made me look slimmer but nothing hid it from the camera. What is past is past! Eyes are focused forward and I am moving on down the road!

Evie - I meant to post the last time that I wasn't the one with that caption...I have not posted any real "before" shots. Maybe I should along with my "work in progress"

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ...it is about learning to dance in the rain!





Visit my shop at: http://glorybe1024.etsy.com

I got confused about the caption. But I know what you mean about the pictures. It is shocking to see myself in some pictures since I feel pretty or sexy and then saw them, I was like.... huh?
But I like what you said above about changing the channel in your mind. It works!

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Hugs, Evie
sd 6/13/08
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Join me on myspace and let me know you're from here!
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Yeah, I was very quiet in person. I married early, so the dating stuff wasn't really an issue for me, but how I've felt about my own attractiveness has changed 100% since the weight loss; some days I felt better than others, but I didn't every really "work it," you know?

I would have to say the biggest thing for me now is being at home in my own body. It's not the way I would like it just yet, but that's fine. I feel at home in my own skin now and can go for days without feeling unattractive. Before, I just avoided mirrors! I'm not afraid to get out there and do whatever I want to do, and don't feel the need to avoid attention. I'm just a lot more self-confident, in every aspect of my life, I would have to say.

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Interesting question. Even when I was thinner, I never really felt sexy. And now, some days I feel more attractive than other days, but even so, I still don't really feel sexy. Didn't before menopause, and even less so now. I've never felt sexy in so-called sexy nighties (I hate them, they are just plain uncomfortable!) I feel more attractive in plain old cotton knit pajamas. I guess I feel more attractive when I'm comfortable.

I have a good husband who accepts me as I am, so I guess that being comfortable in that relationship is just more important to me than feeling sexy.

And I, too, hate seeing pictures of myself. Pictures always make you look worse than you see yourself in the mirror. I don't have nearly that much chin in the mirror, why does the camera add 2 or 3????

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Nita