I desperately would love some advice/opinions from all of you wonderful people on this board. Here's the deal...

I'm involved in this Moms group thing that lasts 7 weeks. At the very last meeting we have a "Celebration Dinner". Last week, they said the dinner would be at an Italian restaurant. It's supposedly a really neat place, and we'll get a private room... yadda, yadda, yadda. But, here's the kicker... they serve family style - and the leader of this group orders all of the food ahead of time.

Tomorrow is my last day of Induction, so I will be pretty well into OWL by then (Nov 13th). What do I do?

I don't want to skip the get together. My thoughts are this...

1. Let the "leader" know my situation. Try to figure out what she might be able to order that I could have so that I can stay on plan. If I decide to do this, any suggestions on what I tell her / how I explain my needs?? Not really sure I want to mention Atkins. Don't want to go into too much detail. How do I handle this?

2. Decide to go off-plan for the night, but try damage-control. Do a CAD type meal (RM) (balanced and all in one hour-- I came from CAD). This way I wouldn't have to deal with explaining anything and I could enjoy the evening.

I have been trying to figure it out on my own. My mom's vote is number one. I am really torn as to what to do , so any opinions/advice will be greatly appreciated.

TIA,

Debby

206.5/160/140?130?
CAD/CALP 1/12-10/9/03
Atkins since 10/10/03

I'd say enjoy your evening and stay RM CAD style. At least you will be in control. Eat lightly that day. Others will probably tell you differently but sometimes it is hard to explain your needs to others who have no idea what you are talking about. Good luck!

~Steph
5'0"
155/146/115

I'd say STAY-ON-PLAN.

Are they going to have salads? Eat a salad. Eat two salads. You can just pretend you're eating. Do they have spaghetti with meatballs? Eat a meatball. They have too many carbs in them for regular times (breadcrumbs), but they're not that bad. Is there pizza? Eat the toppings off the pizza and leave the crust.

You can't use social occasions as an excuse to agonize and cave in. These are parts of normal life. You need to learn how to deal with situations like this gracefully and casually.

**************
"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door."

Well, Debby, here's what I would do:

I would talk to the group leader and explain the situation. Tell her you have dietary restrictions and can't eat bread or pasta. If she doesn't take you seriously, or tells you she can't help you, just smile, thank her, and go to Plan B.

Plan B: call the restaurant, and talk to the owner or the chef. Tell them you have food allergies (trust me, they pay attention to allergies; the last thing they want is for you to get sick in their place). Ask if they can make a meal for you, like grilled chicken with a little sauce and melted mozzarella.

Dr. I is right, these situations are going to come up, and learning to deal is important. It gets easier, honest.

Let us know how it works out, ok?

Trina

Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy.
And cooking done with care is an act of love.
- Craig Claiborne

What Trina said!

One thing I've done in Italian restaurants, is ask for a bed of fresh veggies instead of the pasta. They have always been more than happy to comply. I do this at Olive Garden and Biaggi's with no problem. Sometimes it's broccoli or a mix.

Take care~

Susan


LCE Member since 01/02

You could suggest to the leader of the group that she order one out of the many dishes (make your suggestion here) that would be suitable for you. As we all know, this woe is pretty yummy, so there is no reason to think that others wouldn't like the dish as well.

Jen
175/130/120

Debby,

I'm with Trina. I really like her suggestion. You can also look at the restaurants menu ahead of time so you can give the leader suggestions on a few dishes that will work with your WOE.

I really hope she has understanding for your situation. It would be sad if she didn't.

Enjoy the dinner!

Never give up! Never surrender!

Katrin

It might end up being pretty easy to stay on plan, if it's like the family style place I attended once (Buca di Beppo, sp?). The meat was ordered separately from the pasta, so there's no 'picking apart.' You can just hit the salad bowl, hit the meat plates, and decline the pasta, rolls, and desserts. If you eat a little something before you go, those latter three won't seem tempting. Sounds like great advice to let the leader know your preferences so she doesn't over/under order. Sounds like fun! Ooh, and try the spicy sausage
take care
xoxo
ps- when I don't want to say the "A" word, Atkins, I just say "I'm sorry, but I can't eat wheat, like bread or pasta." If they press for more information and I still don't feel like talking about the WOE, I say "I just don't react very well to it."

I've haven't really came across this problem yet, i have a lot of family and friends that are lcing too. Just remember what you can eat. And remember how you will feel after you eat right. That always helps me.


225/200/150

Moochie, Thanks so much! I never really caught the name of the restaurant, but I'm sure it is Buca di Beppo. I was going to email the leader today to ask the name of the restaurant, but forgot her email address at home. My plan was to see if I could find out what they have first, and then talk to her about it. Well, thanks to you... I just found their website (http://www.bucadibeppo.com). It's so cool! You can actually get a printed menu from the exact location that you're going to.

Now I'm armed with the menu, and I just need to figure out how to talk to the leader about it. I don't want to lie, as I'm sure we'll be in contact with each other in the future. Not even sure I want to bend the truth. But, don't think I want/need to go into my whole story either. At least this gives me a chance to think/pray on it before talking to her. Trina, maybe using the words "dietary restrictions", as you suggested, would be best. Something like... "Right now I have some dietary restrictions... can't have bread or pasta and need to stay away from sugar, too."

I think she'll be understanding, but just don't know what her thoughts about it will be. But, I guess I need to remember... that's her problem not mine.

Steph, thanks for your understanding. I think I'm going to try to stay on my Atkins plan for this meal. I think since it looks like I'm going to be able to do it easily, that's the best thing. Although, it is comforting to know that I have the CAD option. I will always use that as a last resort, though, since I know that it might cause me cravings the next day.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You can't use social occasions as an excuse to agonize and cave in. These are parts of normal life. You need to learn how to deal with situations like this gracefully and casually. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dr. I, I do not see using a CAD RM meal as "caving in". I see it as an option. It would not totally blow things for me. Our perceptions are different. I do realize that this is part of normal life, and I hope that I can learn to deal with these situations gracefully and casually. But, I am still very new to this - it will take some time - and I'm sure I will probably stumble (and not be so graceful) at times. I will try to use this as a learning experience.

Thanks everyone... for your suggestions, words of wisdom, and understanding. I will let you know how it goes.

Debby

206.5/160/140?130?
CAD/CALP 1/12-10/9/03
Atkins since 10/10/03