Went to a wedding Saturday and was expecting to get applause for the 46 lbs I've lost but I was upstaged by my DW who lost only 17 lbs but has reached her goal while I have a ways to go.

What was most upsetting was running into a friend who I hadn't seen for a year who had lost 120 lbs in only 8 months! He says he didnt follow any diet, he just gave up eating. Says he averaged 5 to 800 calories a day. Didn't care about carbs, fat, vitamins or anything-just counted calories.

At the wedding, while I was cheating a bit here and there, he just ate a few bites of salad and a little bit of string beans.

I'm sorry to say that it seemed to me that he lost more than weight. He lost his sense of humor, his enthusiasm, his whole personality. He was a shell of his former self.

I'm sorry to say this, as I know we're all trying so hard to lose weight that the last thing we want to hear is that it is possible to lose too much weight, too fast.

To my shame, I found myself joining in the chorus of "C'mon Rich, Have a little bit a wedding cake. It won't hurt you. You've lost too much weight, you could use a few pounds."


Les

My ex-husband did that same thing. He starved himself to lose weight. And he lost everything... his family... his wife... his weight... his health... his enthusiasm for life... his energy... his sense of humor.... and then after we divorced he gained all the weight back.

But still didn't get his personality back. He is a messed up man.

I'm sorry that you did not receive the applause that YOU most DEFINITELY deserve -- but you can keep the deep satisfaction that you are going about improving your health and life. I'll bet the next time you run into that man.... he'll have gained it all back. You, on the other hand... will be king of the world.

Michelle -- 208/196/140
Started Atkins 9/03
On my way to finding the new me.... WATCH OUT WORLD!!

Hi les,

I lost 45 lbs before anyone even noticed while a friend of mine lost 20 and was getting rave reviews. The difference was that I have around 75 to loose and she had only 25 to 30 to lose. My point for you is........remember the tortise and the hare. slow and steady wins the race. You are changing your eating habits for the rest of your life...not just dieting. Unlike your friend who will begin to eat again and probably make the same bad choices he was making before and regain all his weight plus some.

HANG IN THERE YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!!!

Live well Love much Laugh often
Started June 25 2003
235/185/160

Becki

Becki... you aren't "beambecker" from another board are ya?

Michelle -- 208/196/140
Started Atkins 9/03
On my way to finding the new me.... WATCH OUT WORLD!!

My experience is that if my DW loses 5lbs and I lose 50, she gets noticed. and you know what, I don't care... SHE notices the weight I've lost, and I love her regardless, so it's all OK...

I typically would rather not have people notice me in any event.

As for the starvation weight loss deal. I once pulled a stunt like that. My company sent me out on a temporary assignment for about 3 months to a remote location. I took advantage of that to lose about 50lbs in 90 days. I have since gained it all back and more. It is something I will never do again.

--jim

I think losing 46 pounds is fantastic, to say the least! Don't forget to show it off a bit with some new clothes! Sometimes, wearing our old, baggy clothes disguises our weight loss.<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>... I'm sorry to say that it seemed to me that he lost more than weight. He lost his sense of humor, his enthusiasm, his whole personality. He was a shell of his former self. ...

I'm sorry to say this, as I know we're all trying so hard to lose weight that the last thing we want to hear is that it is possible to lose too much weight, too fast. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, I don't see anyone here advocating unhealthy weight loss plans. I'm no doctor, but I think at 500-800 calories a day long term, a person is risking organ damage and other health hazards due to nutritional deficiencies.

I wish your friend well; but I wouldn't fault you for urging him to eat a little more. Okay, maybe not cake, LOL!, but even that has some calories, which the guy needs, fergawdsake.

~~~Teelbee

174 (Mar. 2002, highest weight), 164 (Jan. 2003, begin LC)
174/132/137-134
remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic

[This message was edited by Teelbee on 10-27-03 at 02:33 PM.]

Les....I have to know...did you get me any cake???

I think your friend is well on his way to an eatting disorder. Keep yourself on the healthy road, and you won't regret it. Shame you didn't get more compliments....WTG Les!!!!!

Nat
Dreams are wishes your heart makes when your fast alseep....

Thanks all for the comiseration, but I was being facetious when I complained about the DW upstaging me. Believe me, there is no one more pleased about the DW's weight than I.

But I wasn't kidding about my friends 120 lb loss. In fact I told him about this site and recommended that he use it for diet tips, counseling or just plain companionship, even if he isn't LCing. Hope we hear from him soon.

Nat hit the nail on the head about ana potential eating disorder - anorexia has been known to affect men, and it's a killer.

Jen
175/130/120

Les
Congratualtions on the pounds lost.
One of the symptoms of clinical depression is developing a disinterest in eating. Perhaps that was his "personality" problem?
Rob

I guess I can't resist offering an unsolicited opinion here.

It is possible to lose weight that way, and I have 1st hand experience. When I pulled that stunt, my typical daily diet was 1 cheeseburger from McDonald's for brunch (Yes, in the middle of a remote location in Alaska they had a McD's) and 1 cup-o-soup packet mixed with water for dinner. That plus walking up to 6 miles a day and a simple daily workout. What a fool! The walking and such was the only smart thing I did.

Here is the deal, it was totally unhealthy, and unsustainable. Maybe a large weight loss is admirable foir the accomplishment alone, but if the method for getting there is unhealthy, it can be worse than being overweight. Plus, if the process is not sustainable, it will eventually come back on. That up and down is probably worse than just staying the way we are. Now, I do understand that some can make the transition from a radical diet to a healthy sustainable one, but I couldn't, and most don't (in my experience)...

I am committed to eating a healthy sustainable diet. Maybe it's boring, maybe it's simple, but hopefully, it's healthy. If and when I reach my goal weight I won't have to make major changes to keep it there.


--jim

I've done it that way too. I prefer the way I'm doing it now.

There was a time when I just cut my calories to the nub, and everytime my weight loss stalled, I cut it some more. One time, I tried doing the full David-Blaine routine, 28 days without any food, just water. (This wasn't anorexia -- I've known many anorexics, and they tend to practice what they do rather secretly with confused motives. I was bragging about it to everybody at work and all my friends who were egging me on. I was showing-off.)

The result of all that was that I got close enough to my goal weight for government work. I had an impaired metabolism, which I didn't understand, because, back then, people didn't know about the potential slowing of your metabolism. I could never stop dieting. I had to count my calories on a daily basis just to maintain my weight, and I was eating very few, about 1500-1600 a day for a 6'2 guy in his early 20's. And, of course, after a few years of doing that, I let everything go to hell again.

Compare that to now: I don't worry about my weight, because I don't weigh myself. I don't worry about my calorie intake, I don't worry about my portion sizes, I don't obsess over things I can't eat, I don't wait for the day that I can go off my weight plan, and I'm grateful for each and every meal and savor every bite. I keep things as simple as possible. I just make sure I stay in ketosis by testing myself regularly with ketostix. I ignore everything else.

**************
"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door."