Today, I got a compliment from a male business associate. He said something like wow, you've really slimmed down. Then, he added, but I wasn't checking you out or anything, I just noticed. I said thanks and that I took it totally as a compliment and that I'd been working hard on it. I just wonder if we've gone too far with sexual harrassment and such that people are even afraid to compliment each other.

Chris
203/161/115 LC Since 7/11/03

Oh yes , we as females are supposed to be sexless...NOT!!!, I always enjoyed the attention and I still do,and just cause sombody pats your bum doesn't mean they think your stupid, they just appreciate nice buns!! my thoughts are (for what they amount to) If ya got it flaunt it and If ya don't cover it the he!! up!

Jackie

I'm glad when someone notices my weight loss and compliments me on it. But the first time someone other than my husband patted me on the bum, I'm afraid that I would need to remind them that my body belongs to me. If that person was a fellow employee, I would be the first one to the affirmative action office to lodge a complaint. IMHO, we women still have a way to go before people understand that even if we choose to flaunt it, "it" still belongs to the flaunter, and rude gestures and comments are wrong.
Peace,
Peg

Affirmative action office to file a sexual harrassment complaint? Huh?

194/179/125 (5'4)

And I'm gonna make it this time!

While I totally agree with pegster that "my body belongs to me", I might first address the bum-patter directly with a "That's incredibly inappropriate" and give him/her a chance to apologize before going to HR.

If that didn't work,though, the moron deserves some re-education.

Ha! Any man who pats my bum will kiss my knuckles It is NOT appropriate.

I NEED those harassment laws because men tend to be googy-eyed by my butt. It's just this big, round, over-sexual looking thing that I can't hide under anything (the curse of being PEAR-SHAPED ) But usually I've found a good way to avoid such comments and advances is to not smile at all at certain men, to stay serious and professional, and to seem a bit cold. Not only does it work for me, but it doesn't make them like me any less and, they tread quite cautiously around me.

Have we gone too far? Ha! Let those men suffer!!! Mua ha ha hahah ha ha ha!!!!

-WRITE GIRL
Six days into Carb Addicts, I was no longer a raving, lunatic overeater! 5'6 female. 328/318...

Most Definitely!

It's a shame that common courtesy needs an apology or explanation. Personally, I like having a man hold a door open for me, or compliment me on how I look. After all, genuine compliments help motivate us to continue to do well. There's nothing motivating about hearing, "Oh, you look good - wait, I didn't mean that!"

"The more I meet people, the more I love my dogs"

202/187

Compliments are fine, inappropriate comments are not, and bum-patting? Have a knuckle sandwich, BUD!

I do think as a very litigious society we have become overly cautious on a LOT of things these days though. Kinda sad!

Char

Don't squat with yer spurs on!

I think if it was someone who you wouldn't mind giving your bottom a pat....so be it We have some wild conversations in our office with a fellow male co-worker and what he might say if it's sexual in nature, doesn't bother us girls, we can give it right back to him and he doesn't mind.

On the other hand....you've got the other male co-worker who is not the type to joke about anything, very stuffy. We have to be careful around him. Guess it depends on who it is.

It is too bad that people have to be so careful about what they say, even if just paying a nice compliment.

It's very true - you must know your audience. I work in a predominantly male environment, and I can joke around with the guys without a problem. We often say things back and forth in jest, but the truth is, they sometimes forget that not every female will react the same way. I've heard several times that they forget they're not speaking to me when a female gives them a dirty look......

Yes, there is a point where it is out of line, but again, I still think it's common courtesy that's taking a beating.

"The more I meet people, the more I love my dogs"

202/187

Women take it entirely too far sometimes. I think that the women that do, report casual comments because they are not secure enough in their own intelligence and work to make it without running to HR. That might sound harsh but we are supposed to be empowered women yet we run to tattle on someone who makes a nice comment. Touching and inappropriate conversation is something entirely different though.

~Steph
5'0"
155/146/115

Yes, it has become difficult to sort out what might be considered complimentary pleasantries and what are sexual come-ons. And that means most people avoid commenting on the appearance of others in the workplace.

Touching and off-color sexual conversation--no way!

However, the first action anyone should take is a direct remark to the offender. "Don't ever do that/say that again!" It won't cure the offender, but he/she will mind his/her manners if they have any brain cells at all.

Barb L.
Started Atkins January 2003
162/141/130

Compliments are fine. Touching my behind is NOT. Especially if the person is a married man. For some reason I seem to attract MARRIED men!

The husband of a woman I know casually, recently started e-mailing me. He was being extremely flirtatious and forward. I was NOT reciprocating. This man is: 1) married, 2) old enough to be my grandpa and 3) NOT my type.
He apparently e-mailed me asking me to meet him in a parking lot somewhere. I did not get the e-mail because I had not been on the computer. (I would not have shown up anyhow.)So when I did not "show up" at his appointed rendezvous HE CALLED MY HOUSE asking where I was!!

I promptly told him where to go. To quit e-mailing me and NEVER call my house. I told him I did not know what kind of game he was playing but it made me uncomfortable and he needed to leave me alone. He apologized and said it would not happen again -- and he has not e-mailed or called.

However.... I now learned his wife has been asking questions about me.......

This man looks like Santa clause... and I flat out told my children what was going on because it scared me to death and I did not want them letting him in the house. So now my 14 year old son goes around singing... (to the tune of Santa Clause is Coming To Town):
you better watch out
You better not cry
you better not pout
I'm tellin' you why
Santa Clause is stalking my mom.

(we like to handle sticky situations with humor!)

Michelle -- 208/196/140
Started Atkins 9/03
Days exercised in November **

I don't know about you, but I enjoy getting compliments and I think most guys are reluctant to give them now. Some women go too far and some not far enough. I can joke around and still be a classy lady at the same time.

Michelle P.
265/226/160
Atkins since 7/7/03

Knuckle sandwich?? I think that might be "inappropriate touching" also :->

OK everyone, we are constantly "checking each other out". It's part of our programming, especially those of us of the male persuasion.

I think compliments are totally appropriate, I know I like them from females! Touching, well, that can only lead to bad things. I'm talking about the pat on the bum type of touching, not the shoulder touch. Several of you have made the point "know your audience", that is SO true.

John

July 03, 2003 - Atkins
Sept. 29, 2003 - Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle
202/170.5/170