Darlin, how WONDERFUL for you!!!! I have goose bumps!! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!!! How inspiring!!!!

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development

Atkins-3/14/03
174/143.6/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

ty Barb...it's like I have woken up a new person!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins as of 1/9/04
340/320/145 (someday I'll see it!!!)

80 sticks of butter GONE and I'm not looking for them!!

Thank goodness for epiphanies!!!!

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development

Atkins-3/14/03
174/143.6/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>In that moment....I realized that I am ok as a person.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wow. For some silly reason, I got tears in my eyes when I read that statement. It must have been a WONDERFUL feeling to come to that realization. I'm sooooo happy for you!

To realize that I'm okay as a person....well....I'm still apologizing for who I am at times. Starting to tear up again as I'm typing this, just thinking about the fact that it really is okay to be me...sometimes.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

April
"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
352/209/180
Down 143 pounds
29 to go...
http://www.geocities.com/aprilwyatt/beforeandafter

I too have recently had this kind of a revelation but it came from a totally different source. My students who are all under the age of 11 are very loving and giving. I was out almost a whole week with my daughter when she was sick. One of my 3rd graders who I only see once each week and didn't see two weeks ago on Tuesday this week told me I looked prettier than before. Mind you this is a girl I only see about 3x a week in the hall and once a week for 45 minutes in class. My colleagues, whom I talk to daily, have noticed and commented and complimented, but it hit home coming from a child I barely can say I know. Her first name is Lauren, I don't even know her last name--I have 553 students and still don't know all their first names. I still have the same hair, the same clothes but two sizes smaller because I somehow couldn't part with the ones that were too small in the belief that one day they would fit again! I have been determined to lose weight since I started putting it on, just never knew how.

232/201.5/130

If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it!

OH April, you are SUCH a good and valuable person!!! Your help here is sooooo valued and needed. I can't wait to meet you in Indy!!! and give you a BIG hug!!!!

Every time I read the posts here I get goose bumps. This is an awesome thread!!! Taxgirl, I'm so glad you started it!!!

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development

Atkins-3/14/03
174/143.6/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

I'm glad taxgrl started this also. Barb. You're posts are great too. It is as if you can always be counted on to offer an encouraging and knowledge packed word no matter what the challenge.

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off of your goals.
222/190/150 5'9.5

[This message was edited by k on 02-28-04 at 08:42 PM.]

Hello everyone, I would just like to thank everyone here that has shared with me. I would have posted sooner but this has all been just a little overwhelming to me. There is so much emotion and knowledge flowing from this thread it is just awesome. You have all helped me to put this whole thing into perspective a lot better. By sharing your hopes, fears, and experiences I have come to realize something. I so want to have those feelings of confidence, I want to realize that I too am "Okay as a person", I want to be happy and healthy again. As bad as I feel the need to hang on to this security blanket of "fat", my desire to be confident and okay and healthy and yes happy, is so much stronger. I want it and I want it real bad. I am going to re-claim my life. I am going to push harder than I have ever pushed myself before and I am going to have my life back. By the way, since this is going to be a long process anytime you see that I am wavering please feel free to shove this right in my face and remind me of where I want to be. You are all truly wonderful, giving women and I thank God I found this site and my new friends. God bless you all, Love Anita

started 11/12/03
396/360/190ish

Anita, I went back and read your original post here. I think it's a wondrous thing that we do here, revealing pieces of ourselves, baring our souls. And we realize that these are not just words typed on a computer screen, but that these are words spoken by SOMEONE with feelings of pain. I get that. I also get that some women use weight as a barrier to keep people out, particularly men. There are many kinds of men out there. It amazes me how many are "out there" that have no regard for how a woman feels. They view her as something to be used and discarded. I am here to tell you, they are not ALL like that. I recognized early on in my adulthood that some women gravitate to abusive men. I certainly SHOULD have, since my father was very abusive to me. I don't know why I didn't. My heart aches for women who get caught in that spiderweb of a trap. My mother didn't fight back either or stand up for me, she was too afraid. Why I turned out to be a strong woman is beyond me. Just stubborn, I guess. I have not had weight issues all of my life, only recently, so I haven't "walked in your skin" but I certainly can relate to the pain. We all deal with pain in different ways. I suppose I learned to use humor as a protective barrier. We all have mechanisms to protect ourselves. But then it can become something else, something destructive, self-destructive. But what's the sense in that? The human psyche is so complex and so mysterious. I would give every woman a steady dose of self-worth if I could. I deserve it, you deserve it. My self-worth took a nose-dive as my weight continued to rise. But luckily I stopped it before it got too out of hand. I know we can only do this hard work ourselves, no one else can do it for us. Thankfully this board helps to put things into perspective. We have all been somewhere on this road of self-abuse. To me, this board is a life-line, which helps keep me grounded in reality. What I wish for every woman out there that has a seemingly overwhelming task of losing great amounts of weight is for her (YOU) to find her way back to herself, to know she is worth it, she deserves it. YOU deserve to be healthier, slimmer, happier. I always say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." You will get through this, by gum. We're here to help you. Because, you DESERVE it!!! Repeat after me: I deserve it, I deserve it, I deserve it.......You will transform into a beautiful swan (on the outside) and hopefully you will be able to set a higher standard for the kinds of men you let in your life. They will have to EARN you. You are worth it!!! I have known a lot of overweight women. They are beautiful, kind and gentle people. And they have just as much value as anyone else, as do you.

Just wanted to share that.

Barb - 30 lbs gone FOREVER!
www.iwsgroupinc.com - website design and development

Atkins-3/14/03
174/143.6/135 5'2"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Knowledge is POWER

What an emotional topic! I must say that at times I too had tears in my eyes while reading peoples stories.
I want every single person here to know that you are all special. You are all beautiful no matter what size you are.
When I was dating my husband and I fist started to gain a lot of weight. I started one of the many starvation diets that I ended up doing over the next seven years. He left me a note one day. It said simply:

"I love you for your smile! I love you for your soul! I love you for your heart! I love you for you! You will always be you no matter how much you weigh, and I will always love all of you!"

My husband is not a poetic man or emotional. At the time he wrote this he was 21 years old and we had been dating for 4 months. I knew then that I would spend the rest of my life with him and what true love was really all about. We never really talked about that note and I doubt that he knows I still carry it in my purse. Everytime I get down on myself I read it.
I want all of you to know that you are you no matter what. Also, there are some good guys out there. I found one and so can you!

Hugs!!!

Good luck all!!
Seesko



242/226/135

"What my mind can envision; my body can master!"

[This message was edited by Seesko on 03-02-04 at 05:51 AM.]

[This message was edited by Seesko on 03-02-04 at 05:52 AM.]