I've been really proud of myself lately. I have taken this WOL just as it is, a lifestyle. With the weight I have to lose, I'm proud of the fact I've handled cravings, temptations, negative self talk and battling my mountain of negative self image. I've been eating what I should and actually craving good foods. Started exercising this past week and while extremely sore in some areas, also extremely proud and feeling the physical differences already that I longed for.

Then there was today...

I married in November and finally got a day off in order to go get my social security card, drivers license and checking account info changed at respective offices. After many days of DH prompting me to take a new pic of myself with our new digital camera, I was faced with the dreaded drivers license picture. I chose to see it as an opportunity to see a change in my face and found myself actually excited when the gentleman called my name. *snap* picture taken....10 minutes later I had my license in hand.

I waited until I was in the parking lot on my way to my car to look at it...and then the tears came. I saw a face I didn't know. One of a person who looked bigger than in the wedding pictures in November, one who I myself would probably look the other way if met on the street.

I don't know if it was the disappointment or my all to real reality check...but I got in my car and made the decision not to run off to some fast food joint and bury my sadness with food. Instead, I'll eat what I know my body needs, and deserves, and exercise later.

I know someday that picture will change...and I know I feel better in a lot of other ways then physically...but that doesn't ease the pain of that moment.

I truly believe though that it is moments like this that helps each and every one of us milestone this journey so that we may be successful in the end.

[This message was edited by Knowles' Darlin on 03-11-04 at 08:34 AM.]

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Currently Pregnant and expecting bundle of joy the week before Christmas

Oh, knowles, what a bummer! YOu should be very proud of yourself that you didn't cave to emotional eating. One comment for you - driver's license cameras are EVIL (particularlty the FLA ones - I speak from personal experience). Nobody ever looks good when they get their pictures taken. This is not a true reflection of how anyone really looks.

You keep doing what you are doing, and you will succeed.

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Jen



179/179/120

Knowels
Oh i know how you feel. Last week I was on air cause I had lost 1 little pound. Then there came this week and I've found the scale not moving and if it does it goes up instead of back. Then I put some clothes on this morning thinking oh I look good, snapped a picture and was devestated to see the double chin, the toned arms that I thought I had, but in the picture they looked huge and dimply. I looked at the picture and felt the tears flow, wondering why nothing was working. I've been dedicated to this WOL, drinking my water, working out 4 days a week and doing everything right. I, unlike you though turned to the comfort I had always turned too, I had a Krispy Kreme doughnut and unlike the countless other times found NO comfort with it and promptly threw it away. Then of course the guilt followed and I just feel so down and I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong. Why won't the scale move? I find that I'm thinking of taking pills so I don't eat at all, and I know that is bad bad bad, but it seems like nothing else is working for me. I am at my wits end here today and I don't know what to do.

Just know that you're not the only one who feels this way, as I do and I'm sure others do too. I'm going to keep my chin up and keep following thru with this WOL and the gym and hopefully will see some sort of results as I'm sure you will too and soon! Keep your chin up as well!

Thanks

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Tracy
REstarted 1/1/05
240/233--goal 150 at least

oh hugs to you, knowles. you poor thing, i wish i could drive down to FL and take you out for a nice LC lunch!
i love your attitude about embracing this lifestyle and i am so proud of you for staying on track and not running out for fast food.
that being said, let's think about the quality of those stupid DMV pictures!!
everyone looks heavier and uglier in their picture!
i had mine taken when i was a lot thinner, and i still look a giant egg head! and my boyfriend looks like he has a mullet in his picture b/c of the shadow behind him!
LOL!
so let's not use that picture as a true evaluation of how you look now.
keep up the good work.

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Carrie
SBD since 9/12/2005
Re-started 5/8/2006
My new journal: Just Breathe

Hi ladies. I'm in the same boat. Our family had our portrait taken last night for our church directory and when we looked at the proofs I felt sick. I saw this huge, round face of mine looking back at me. I didn't want how I felt to influence my DH, DD and DS's option of our photos so I kept my mouth shut.

I have been feeling "icky" ever since. However, I didn't cave in to the old stand-by failure binge and keep going as normal (LC). I used to turn to cake, candy, potatos, etc. when something went wrong or I was disappointed or even upset with someone else. Then after starting this WOL I realized I wasn't punishing THEM, I was punishing MYSELF! I deserve BETTER than that.

This is the first time I've been on an eating plan, EVER, EVER, EVER that I have not CHEATED/STRAYED from, NOT EVEN ONE TIME! I have "overindulged" on LEGAl foods occasionlly but don't sweat it!

Keep up what you're doing and in a year from now we will be different women! I'm sure of it!

Peace~Love Sisters!

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Suzanne (Atkins - 1/9/04)
195/168/145

Tha fact that you didn't cave in to emotional benging says alot. Stay in there.
Just think, in the future when you show you ID, people will do a double take. I lost 105 lbs and my driver's license still shows me when I was at my fatest. It's kind of neat to hear the comments I get when I have to show it.

Knowles, Don't be so hard on yourself! DMV pictures are awful.

Stand proud that you are a strong beautiful woman and you stood your ground and didn't let the evil DMV picture affect your progress.

I see from your stats you've lost 22 pounds. You are on your way girl Give yourself a big pat on the back.

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Melanie

Atkins Since 07/03
310/252.5/135

TY all...I know DMV pics suck LOL, today again proved that!!

I am proud that I didn't cave and run off and eat something I know is poison for my body. I do feel better now that I've shared this experience and this "bump" on this road...and I too will remember this when someone sees my ID as Dan said...150 lbs. lighter!

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Currently Pregnant and expecting bundle of joy the week before Christmas

I posted in your journal before I saw this thread. Ditto all the above!

quote:

i had mine taken when i was a lot thinner, and i still look a giant egg head! and my boyfriend looks like he has a mullet in his picture b/c of the shadow behind him!


OK, I've been having a rough day and that CRACKED ME UP! Thanks for the laugh.

You are all to be congratulated for not binge eating. And I am soooo glad that you posted these thoughts.

I have to go next Tuesday for my drivers license photo and I am just hating the thought. The last one was awful and although I've committed to this WOE, I am no thinner than I was four years ago when the last one was taken.

So - I guess I literally - grin and bear it!

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Back again in 2005
199/179/130

Knowles Darling,

Be proud of how far you have come. And quite honestly I have yet to see a DL photo taken in any state that actually looks good. You should see mine. It is hilareous as to how bad it turned out (That will teach me to have a picture the same day as a haircut, lol).

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Libby

2004 174/142/138

Begin Again 2007

164/159/142

What can I say that has'nt been say already, don't look at the picture on you driver license, look at the picture in your mind, and that is what you look like to me a great,fantastic person that will persevere in her goal.
rainbow,

Knowles'D-

I almost cried reading your post. Even tho im more emotional than ever this week. My weight too has had me angry w/ myself. I have been reading alot of your posts recently! and have noticed nothing but good changes.. You seem like a very positive person. You also sound like a wonderfull wife, a great friend to people around you,you sound like me... in more ways than weight... and the ways we are trying to loose.

Please do not give up on your self. You are doing better than you may think.. i know its the visual side that bothers us most... beacuse our body adjust all together instead of outside all at once... just thin of your heart and all of your other (parts) that are so much happier since you have changed your life!

i feard i was going to have to do the same today... i was changeing my address on my licence and wasnt sure if they needed to take picture ect... i was so happy when i went in and they werent even makeing me a new licence .. all i had to do was fill out a card and send it in..

esp since i had just left the gym i didnt look very good ROFL

keep up the good work girl ... your doing wonderfull!!!!!!
<<<<<hug>>>>>>&gt ;

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01/02/04-248{ 4/29/04- 218} 6/30/04- 204
7-05-04 198 8/30/04 - 190 (got lost after that-)
4/03/08- 261 -
Goal-140-145

You are doing great!!! You have lost 22 lbs in 2 months that is awesome!! I hope that I can do as great as you have! Keep your chin up and don't worry about the picture you are a beautiful person inside and out.

Staci