I wanted to bring this subject to attention. I just started a new job and there is a girl in our office that is the center of attention. I am sure that you know that type. She is outgoing and wants everyone to like her and be just that the center of everything that is happening in the office. In the past that has ALWAYS been me. In fact she is even the same sign as me. It isn't bad to be that way but, when I met her I knew that any pressures that I used to have in other office was taken away but this person because she would handle and I wasn't about to step up to her for it. It is nice not being in charge of everything.
The point, she and I used to eat lunch together. She is very thin and eats all that she wants and still remains thin. I informed her last week that I started a low carb diet and her reaction was, AWE!!!! frown. I wasn't sure what she meant but, I thought maybe she thought that her and I couldn't eat together anymore. Well she soon learned that I could eat from anywhere with her, and I have. I have been on Induction for 7 days and I have lost 8 pounds, this morning my jean skirt (straight from the dryer) was actually a bit lose on me. Last week I would have had to struggle to get it buttoned. I was happy with that and this morning I said, "Mary I have to show you something!" I then showed her that my skirt was lose and she looked at me like???? She says, " I am still waiting for you to show me something!?" I am like, " My skirt is lose and it used to be tight just last week!" She says, "Oh that's good (with a oh that's nice...whatever tone) And she starts talking to another girl right away and blows me right off. I walked away hurt. But, learned a lesson that I wanted to share with everyone here.
Don't expect everyone to care or everyone to respond nicely. I am sure that are other Mary's out there that don't want any of the light from the spotlight shone on anyone but them and they aren't into sharing.
Motivation and pat's on the back have to come from within. I will not go to her with my success anymore..one slap in the chops is enough for me to learn my lesson real quick, once bitten, twice shy. And she will come around and start questioning when she sees that I have lost weight, because again that is her personalty. I will be short with her like she was with me. I will share with only a few select people and she missed her chance to be one of those people.

She was the same person that the second day on Induction she put an ice cream sandwich really close to my face and said, "Want some?"
Shame on me to think that I could expect anything more from someone like that.

To make matters worse another women brought in some donuts and she walked around with them and got to me and said, OHH that's right you can't have these!" And she stuffed one in her mouth and said, " While chewing (yuck) I ain't on No diet!!" I thought...you ain't got NO grammer either. But, I contained myself from saying anything to the double negative hostess eating English major..speaking with her mouthful!!!! To think she is on telephones all day!!??!!

A lesson that I felt I have to share.
Have you come across someone like this??

Doesn't it just floor you?
I'd just about bet there's something out there that she wants, or wants to do with herself, and doesn't have the coconuts to put herself out there and try, and is trying to stop you from doing what she can't. Seems like folks treat other folks like cowpies to make themselves feel superior. Don't let her get you down, WE are all here for you and can't wait to hear your great success stories. Congratulations on the skirt, I know the feeling and am fabulously happy for you! You're doing it, rock on!! Woohoo!

Stacie
222/144/140
Popeye had the right idea. . . Spinach & Olive Oyl

Sorry to hear that. Fortunately, I have not had any similar experiences. I will remember to be a bit cautious when discussing my woe with people.

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Started Atkins on 9/20/03
235-->190; 150 goal

ProteinQueen, I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience with someone who you trusted enough to share your new way of eating with. She doesn't seem to be a real friend and is showing you her true colors now.

You're doing fabulous with your weight loss. I'm proud of you and your drive. I'm sure after that encounter, you are even more determined to lose the weight!!

The same thing happens in my office AND unfortunately with one of my good friends. Jealousy is ugly and this woman in your office seems to be turning green as your taking the spotlight away from her! I never understood this as I'm always one to compliment those in my office that are losing weight, new becoming hair cut, outfit...etc... But congrats to you for keeping on this WOE through all the temptations (office donuts, etc) Your doing great!

ah yes, the lovely signs of JEALOUSY! and women are sooo good at it. LOL.
i've posted before about the "lovely" women in my office ....
sorry that you had to learn the hard way. some people only feel good about themselves by making sure that others stay down. how sad.

but congrats on your loss and your positive outlook .... remember that we're here for you!!

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Carrie
SBD since 9/12/2005
Re-started 5/8/2006
My new journal: Just Breathe

Unfortunately, low-carb has become such a cultural cliche, nobody wants to hear about it anymore. Congrats on keeping a level head.

IMHO, there's no greater challenge to the LCE lifestyle than office "goodies." In our office (a big one) hardly a day goes by without a box of doughnuts, cookies, chocolates (on and on and on) residing on the sideboard by the mailboxes. I can't get to the restroom without going past them. The worst temptation for me? M&Ms.

Hang in there. Your triumph will be personal and permanent.

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Barb L.
Atkins since Jan 2003
Maintenance as of 4/05


My Fitday Journal

PQ, women can be so competitive and catty! You keep on going girl! I know it hurts though! One of my supposed best friends was a real b#tch when I lost weight. Constantly trying to sabatoge me etc. I'm a diabetic so how destructive is that!She is the center of attn. type too and seems to like to surround her self with people she feels are less attractive than her.
Amazingly enough Now that I regained some she is friendly as all get out. She notices I'm eatting better and my jeans are baggy and says "your not on that crazy diet you did for 3 yrs are you and frowns?" I said "oh you mean the one that kept me of the diabetes meds? Well um yah dont you think thats a real good idea rather than keep increasing meds?" She says "oh no! you look so much better and in proportion now! You looked to squat thin!? I asked "what the heck are you talking about?" She says well I look long and lanky thin and you looked short and squat!"
I totally busted up laughing in her face. Squat thinner? Can we say major jealousy! Oh and fear of competion for attention from those guys I dont want attention from anyway?!
Lets do a body comparison of us I'm thinking when I was at goal for a few yrs.? We are the same height but my legs are 3 inches longer, my waist and butt were smaller, she is a b bra cup and I was a still a d while wearing a 5/6 pants. So what could possibly look squat about that? Absolutely nothing! Simply put I got more compliments on my figure, more attention from men(and I think besides looks it because I'm not looking 4 it or acting desperate 4 attention!) and it infuriates her. After I was done laughing at her I asked her if we were such good friends why she felt more secure trying to keep my heavy and on diabetes meds??? She looked shocked and just stared at me.
While I'm complaining here I've heard numerous women make comments about my breast "must have been done" under their breath that I could gag.
I understand none of this because I look at a beautiful woman and appreciate it just like any other pretty thing and it sure doesnt make me hostile towards them.

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high weight 207

Current
156/160/136(?) thats where the clothes fit before but time will tell

pq- so sorry to hear about your office mates and their HORRIBLE behavior. geez...i know for me, when somebody gets that smug, "go ahead and eat it" attitude, it just firms my resolve to stay away from those foods!

i think i'd probably try to come up with some snappy comebacks for when the donut brigade shows up...but i don't know what exactly. lol

and while i agree that you get your drive from inside, it's also true that there are lots of people who will be happy for you, proud along with you of your accomplishments, and so on. sort of weeds out the pseudo-friends, huh?

and mick: this lady was trying to get you to eat wrong with DIABETES!? OMG. how self-centered is THAT?! that you'd rather see somebody risk their health (and maybe life) so you can keep the attention to yourself? it boggles my mind to even try to understand that.

but then again, i suppose everybody who tries to sabatoge weightloss is doing that to some degree. 'cause the pounds are putting you at health risk...sheesh. i'm staying around the positive people man!!

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EatSmart Nutritional Scale Review

Two words - broken people. Women (or men for that matter) who pull that kind of crap on me immediately get labeled "toxic" and treated with aloofness and distance. I do not even condescend to read them the riot act, they do not deserve my attention. These are people who would stab their grandmother's in the back - they are NOT good friends in any way, shape or form, because the people that I choose to be my friends look out for me, and support me in all of my efforts, and they respect me. Oh, and they can control themselves. If I sound harsh, it's that I have been there and done that with a toxic friend and I will never let someone take advantage of me like that again.

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Jen



179/179/120

First of all, congragulations on your 8 lb loss! To a lot of people, that may not seem like much...but in 8 days, that is wonderful! And good for you for sticking to this woe!

In my opinion, the spirit of excellence that is rising up in you is lighting the mirror of mediocrity in those other people...that is all it is...pure and simple. So get around those people that are positive. They will be the ones who will help you more than anyone else...

And there's a saying that goes 'Generate an image of Christiananity. Don't tell them how. Show them how.' Thus is the saying as well with this woe.

Also, at my work , people have just learned simply not to ask me if I want doncuts, cakes, cookies, etc. Someone brings in really good donuts every Friday (and they always look delicious!) and always offers one to me. After 3 weeks of saying no, I haven't gotten asked again. Just stick with your committment, and I wish you the best of luck in succeeding!

Sheyla
186/122/105 60.5 inches

PS I use to have people who would tell me 'oh, you'd look better in that outfit if you lost 10 more lbs' nothing irritated me more - the people telling me that were HEAVIER than me and had yet any desire to lose their excess pounds...and one day, one lady at the church told me she was going to say something to me about the shirt I was wearing 'cuz she thought it showed too much but decided not to say anytthing...and my comeback? 'Well, the pastor told me I looked really nice in that shirt!" (and he did, too!)

Everyone's response has been so nice, thank you all. I have to admit that I am a fast learner and that I look at her a little different. She is very overbearing and bossy at times I can't imagine who the heck she thinks she is. I try to ignore her along with the double negative donut pusher. On a better note that is one girl that I work with that has actually joined me and she brings and cooks lunch for one day and I do the other day. I don't expect her to stay on the "diet" for much longer. My boss says that the only reason that she is on the diet with me is for companionship..which is just fine with me. I too need all that I can get. (He wasn't making fun of the diet he is just sayings things very matter of fact and he is the type that you aren't sure how to take him sometimes...is he joking I often ask...I guess that is how he gets away with saying things like he does and well he is the boss man=) The donut pusher was pushing spaghetti and meatballs today. I said, "No thanks I can't have pasta." and then ten minutes later she is asking me a question two rooms away mouthful of food. She grosses me out I swear. That is a enough to not even want the meal that she is offering.

And you are right when she said that to me and made me feel like the last person not picked in gym class...I thought...you wait and see! And like I said when she wants the info, because she will crave it soon. She just needs to know everything, I will do what she did to me. Oh thanks! And walk away. MEAN PEOPLE SUCK don't they???
She might be thinner then me but, I can lose weight! She doesn't have a very pretty face and that is something that I will always have. =]

Thanks Again Everyone!

You are right to keep your distance from Ms.Shallow and Ms.Uncultured. There is enough negativity in the world without all that! When it was my birthday, the office manager asked me what kind of cake I wanted. She is a fellow low-carber and smiled when I said "Is there such a thing as lowcarb cake?" I left, wondering what that was about...when I returned that afternoon, I got my "cake": a tray filled with lowcarb chocolates and cookies and covered in pretty see-thru cellophane! Usually, the birthday person takes home a couple of slices of picked-over cake! This was all mine to keep! What a sweet person! (BTW, I work at a vending company....we put it out there, it's a personal choice to eat it or not!) Even if everyone at your workplace is not supportive, you have all of us to cheer you on! You go, girl!

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Thanks maxibee!
I appreciate your help and friendship. You seem very kind and down to earth. Today is day 9 on Induction and I am doing well. She wasn't there today. I have to say that it was kinda nice. LoL actually both of them weren't there today. Everyone seemed more at ease. The " I talk with my mouthful chick" is the Vice Pres's neighbor so needless to say I feel a little intimidated about that. I usually only talk to her when I have to, usually when she says something to me. Actually the one girl did call and she thanked me for helping her daughter with her home work. I don't know why I helped after the way that she acted toward me after the whole skirt ignorance...but I helped her daughter with an English Report and she called and thanked me up and down for helping and that her daughter thought that I was great. I was coridal but, it will be a while before I can let this go. The way that she is I know that she doesn't even know that she hurt my feelings. She is that way with everyone and some people she treats worse than that. It is kinda sad but, I really do like where I work and I have no choice but to tolerate her.
I will stop rabbling on here. Thanks for listening and for the encouragement.
PQ

As I see it, you've got 2 really big factors of your life clashing here....your body/health, and your j-o-b! We HAVE to eat, so that means at work, too. So, you have to continue to make the right choices, no matter what is happening with Ms.Thang. I think I would continue to do what you are doing now: doing your work, eating right, being cordial and understanding that "she is that way with everyone". I used to take everything so personally! I have gotten better over the years, but I am still sensitve to what people say to me or about me.

And, as for helping the little girl with the homework, you just showed you are a better person. You understand that the little girl isn't at fault because her Mom has an attitude.

I am pleased to be called a friend of yours, PQ and yes, I am down to earth. What you "see" is what you get. I detest pretentious people. Just be yourself...life's too short, leave the pretending to members of the Screen Actor's Guild.

Kepp us posted on how it's going "In the Office". Hey, that could be a new sit-com for the fall lineup!

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