My dh has been trying to tell me this for months on end but have I listened to him? Noooooo...not until yesterday...not until I worked out enough to literally make myself ill and ended up feeling lightheaded and also ended up in bed for the whole day, underneath my blankets, freezing (and it was 89 degrees outside!)

Well, he figured if I didn't listen to him, perhaps, I would listen to someone else so he called the leader of the group (who happens to also be our pastor) to let him know what was going on and what I had done to myself. So later on in the day, one of the other ladies called me just to encourage me and told me that she found out that when she stops striving, everything works better for her and that I should stop striving and just not worry about anything. Plus she said that even if I didn't have a weight loss for the week or maintained my weight, the leader wouldn't come down on me like he would some of the other people in the group - for the very reason that the leader knows I'm consistent and I'm doing everything right. So I felt better after that. And then the leader called later on in the evening and talked to my dh. My dh told him that I was really stressing over the weight issue (plus TOM is currently paying me a visit, so I'm feeling bloated & know that will probably show a slight weight gain on the scale) and the leader told him that I just needed to stop worrying about the whole weight issue. So after hearing all that, I've come to the same conclusion that everyone else did - I just need to quit striving. So I've stopped. I've gotten so caught up in trying to get this weight off of me, it seems that I'm losing sleep over it - especially the closer I get to goal. I've noticed that the weeks I worry are the weeks the weight comes to a complete halt,and the weeks I just stop worrying are the weeks I drop a few lbs...so I'm done worrying. I'm finally done striving. And my dh told me the other day 'you know what works for you. You know what works for your body. You know what your body can tolerate. My body can tolerate sugar whereas your body can't even handle sugar. Do what you know works for your body. Don't just say what works. Do what works.' So that's what I'm doing now...and quitting striving is one of those things that works for me...so I'm done...I've finally quit striving. When the weight is ready to come off, it will...I'm just not going to worry about it anymore...I'm just not going to push myself to the point of sickness again to get the scale to move...

Now off I go to enjoy my sugar free iced latte...

Sheyla

Sheyla

Sometimes the stress of us trying to maintaine or loose just adds to more problems. I have found by not weighing my self all the time.. and just going w/ the flow not makeing it seem like im "dieting" instead makeing it more my "Way of life" that is why it is not a "diet." if you prove to yourself its just a part of life you will not stress and added stress makes you sick sometimes.

the more i worrie the worse i get.. ill even notice a gain.. like i was trying to loose X amount of weight by X amount of days... so i would realy worrie and try hard instead of going about my life like usual... and what happend i gained.. well its just a part of learning in life and how our bodys react..

Good luck and dont beat your self up all the time let your self go about your WAY OF LIFE.

__________________
01/02/04-248{ 4/29/04- 218} 6/30/04- 204
7-05-04 198 8/30/04 - 190 (got lost after that-)
4/03/08- 261 -
Goal-140-145

sheyla, i'm sorry that you were feeling down, and that your health suffered from your extreme workout.
i know that your weight is around 135, right? and how tall are you? do you know what your BMI is? you're wearing a size 4, is that correct?
i worry that perhaps you're trying to lose too much weight. maybe your body is telling you that it can't/won't lose any more weight.
i think you have the right idea - just relax a little. you don't want to become obsessive about your eating plan/weight loss plan. being knowledgeable and accountable is one thing, but obsession can lead to eating disorders.
thinking good thoughts for you.

__________________
**************
Carrie
SBD since 9/12/2005
Re-started 5/8/2006
My new journal: Just Breathe

Sheyla...Ive been stalled for over a year...ive stopped freaking out now...not worth it...i dont want to weigh myself anymore...still a loose size 10 and thats ok with me...im healthy and thats what counts...i know im at my last 15lbs...your body does talk to you and we have got to listen to it...if your at your last pounds, dont get yourself sick to get to that goal...i do watch what i eat but if im stuck somewhere that they serve me what im not supose to eat, well so be it...not as if its everyday...i find that if someone serves you whatever just start with what your surpose to have and you might be full before you end up on the no no part....ive done the zone for a while and still nothing....so far ive been eating fresh like ive done all my life and cut all sugars as much as i can...i believe that if you watch what you eat without freaking out on certain things, you will do just fine...ive been doing it for a year now and havent gain anything ...havent lost but hey, i havent gain so thats ok with me....and if your at your last 135 like mentioned above, what are you worry about? relax, enjoy your life...you have a good husband that cares for you and im sure he doesnt want to see his wife sick...life is too short...enjoy it!

Lan



hang in there
Helene

__________________
To Love is to risk not being loved in return. To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken. Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Thanks for the replies...I am currently 123 lbs. My BMI is 24 which is average but at the bottom of this, it says that I might want to consider a healthful diet to get to a healthier range of 19 - 23. So if I wanted to have a BMI of 23, looks like I would have to lose one lb to get to 122...and that's the wt at which I keep on getting stuck...I'm 5 feet and 1/2 an inch tall and I am currently wearing size34's in dress pants, size 5 in jeans (due to my huge buttocks and thighs) and size 3 in dresses...I sometimes wonder if my body is just telling me that it's not ready to go below that point...I won't give up but I'm not going to sit here and obsess over it, either. If it happens, it does. And if it doesn't, oh, well.

Awhile back, there was a day I literally didn't have an appetite and ended up not eating anything at all...so you know, you figure you don't eat anything for a day and drink nothing but liquids, you'd probably drop a couple of pounds, right? Not even so! I maintained my exact weight!

I understand what you mean about starting to have health problems and all. I've thought about that often and know that I definitely don't want to end up like that! No way!



So I'm just going to go on, making this woe a part of my life and continue wth my life in a normal way...

Sheyla

Ya know, when I was a kid, I got interested in gardening. I had some space in the backyard to experiment with growing things like tomatoes, potatoes, corn, marigolds, things like that.

It's a funny thing. The harder you try to make things grow fast, the lousier the crop you get.

In my case, when I was a kid, I did a lot of dumb things. Like watering too much, putting too much fertilizer on it, because it seemed to make sense that if a little of something is good, a WHOLE LOT has to be great. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

And sometimes I just got frustrated staring at these little plants because they didn't look like they were growing at all! I all but laid down in the dirt and slept with the things, the way I watched them for any sign of growth. I got so frustrated with my first potato plant -- one that I had so badly abused as described above -- that I dug it up just to see if there was anything still there. Yup, there was an itty bitty little potato down there, somewhere in those dirt clods. Now that I knew that there really WAS a potato there, I carefully replanted it. And waited for it to grow some more.

I'm not sure when I lost interest in that potato. It just seems like one day, I went, "Oh yeah, I was growing a potato out in the backyard somewhere, wasn't I?" So, I went potato hunting. Somewhere, in the weeds, there was something that may or may not have been the remains of a potato plant. Whatever it was, there was no potato tuber to be found in the ground.

Now, the moral of this mundane little story is that no matter how eager you are, sometimes, it just doesn't help much to try to make things happen faster than is natural. If I had just given the potato plant the right amount of attention and left the damn thing alone the rest of the time, I probably could have had a nice baked potato at the end of it.

__________________
**************
"And so, in my State of the—my State of the Union—or state—my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation—I asked Americans to give 4,000 years—4,000 hours over the next—the rest of your life—of service to America. That's what I asked—4,000 hours."

LOL DOCTOR...WHAT A WONDERFUL STORY WITH GREAT MEANING TO IT

__________________
Remember...
"GOD" helps those who help themselves!
Highest weight, started lc @ 306 pounds
Current weight, 286.5 pounds
Pounds Lost LowCarbing-19.5

Nice story Doc!

__________________
It is always necessary to leave some part
of cooking to improvisation. - Paul Bocuse
Member since 2001

sheyla-when you think about it, you're talking about just numbers. they are averages, stats, generalities. they are intellectual constructs, y'kno?

that's not the same thing as solid reality. and the reality of your body. you are wearding small sizes, your body seems to want to maintain. when you don't get over zealous working out, you feel good?

that matters more than numbers, which are averages. i mean, think about it. how much difference do you think 1 pound can make in your health, objectively?

my suggestion, for whatever it's worth to ya, is listen to YOUR BODY first and don't worry about numbers numbers numbers. your body is the "expert" on your health and well being.

__________________

EatSmart Nutritional Scale Review

I've reached the point where I dont join in the weight challenges anymore. I really have no control over my body being willing to give up the pounds, or even the inches.
My goals now have to do with making sure I am following the plan as best as I can (not obsessive over little misses) , doing regularly scheduled exercise, and adding fun activities to my life. When my body is finally ready to join in, then I know I have done the best I can to give it the fuel, activities, and opportunities to make the changes it should.

__________________
Mary Kay 1/1/04 - 232
5/19/08 (5/23/08) - sw226/(cw222)/mg210/fg160

Sheyla,

In no one's dictionary would you be "huge" in a size 5 or size 3s.

End of story.

(((hugs)))