I have 2 kids and now I am over weight. I have never been fat. I need help

[Sweetmama22]

Before I got pregnant with my first child I weighed 145 but I didnt even look like it. I loved to model in front of the camera. Now I have a second child and I am at 245 pounds. I desperatly need to loose the weight. My weight goal is 120. I have no friends and not much money. I dont even have a babysitter. I am going nuts. I love to rollerblade but now it is hard for me to do that. I want to have a social life. I am too lazy to get out there and excersize everyday. Especially when my children have to tag along. Please help me. I need to get out by myself.
Can someone point me in the right direction?

[BrattyChelle]

Sweet....you sound overwhelmed by a lot of issues. Why not take it one at a time? I can relate to having 2 kids and no babysitter, I too fall in that category. However, I have resigned myself to do what I can, when I can, even if it means taking the kids with me. I often walk with my infant in her stroller....at least I'm out of the house. It helps me clear my head and I feel better having done something. Not having money...can relate there too. Some people join gyms that have daycare, but with no money it isn't an option. Again, don't let that stop you.

How old are your kids? Could they bike with you while you roller blade? Perhaps making it a family thing? You would be doing them a huge favor to keep them physically active while teaching them that you care about yourself to make changes and get healthy again. Don't let "being lazy" be an excuse. I see you are in Florida...I am too, so we really have very few excuses as to why we aren't at least outdoors walking if it isn't raining.

Hang in there...take one thing at a time.

[Sweetmama22]

My kids are 3 almost 4 and the other one is 18 months.

[BrattyChelle]

Walk with double stroller?

Curious...are you wanting to exercise at all or do you want to do this strictly with food options? Part of your original post led me to believe you'd like to lose this weight but aren't sure if exercise is an option for you.

You've taken a strong first step by posting here and asking for help

[texanflowr]

Well one idea is to buy an exercise tape or DVD..... look at garage sales or thrift stores... lots of people "thought" they would exercise but fell by the way. I have seen lots in the past at those places pretty cheap..... especially the VHS variety. I can certainly relate to having no funds... there was a time in my life, not too long ago when I was a single mother with four children and no real profession... but, walking or going to the park with your children is free, and besides the benefit of spending time with them, you will get some exercise. Take things slowly.... do a little more each day or week as far as exercise. You have to get your body adjusted to it if you have not exercised in a while. The most important thing I can say is to visualize your goals.... what you want to be and do and feel like in a few months from now... make a plan and make it happen. This is a great site... many kind and generous people here who will give you great advise. Hang around and you will find that out for yourself.... I can't say enough good things about this site and the administrator.... she has a heart of gold...

[LCandrea]

Amy, it's good to have you here. I hope we can help.

Let's start with a few basics.

1. Do you have access to low cost or free medical care? If you do, you really need to go and see a doctor and get a check up. Get medically cleared to low-carb and exercise. This is very important.

2. Don't make your children the obstacles: make them the reason. The number one thing you can do for them is to be their example!

3. One way that many women who can't afford childcare handle this is to form babysitting co-ops - where the women take turns caring for each other's children. If you don't have any friends or neighbors you know and trust, a good place to start is a local house of worship or community center. Many of these places have "mother's groups" where you can meet and get to know other moms with small kids. This will get you out of the house, which will do wonders for your attitude and help you feel more in control of things in your life - which will spill over into your eating and exercising too! and you will form friendships with other ladies in your situation, some of whom will want to share childcare duties for their own chance at Mom's day out!

4. Although you may have heard that low-carbing is expensive, don't let that deter you: you can find many low-cost sources of protein if you are willing to change some habits and work at cooking and planning meals a bit. Again, this will benefit everyone in the house, not just you.

Specifically, some good sources of protein that are healthy and lower cost include:

eggs, tuna, beans (depending on which low-carb plan you choose, not all plans will allow beans early on), nut butters and nuts (while not really low cost, you will eat small portions of these, so the per serving cost can still be low), and bulk cuts of meat that you can get on sale.

While baloney or hot dogs might be tempting because they might go on sale or be cheap at certain times, you should avoid them if possible, as processed meats are not your best choice for a variety of reasons.

5. Even if you can't afford a low-carb book, you can find most of them at your local public library. (also check and see if your library has a kid's story time - a great time to get the kids out and give you some contact with other moms!) To save time and money, I strongly recommend "Living the Low-Carb Life by Jonny Bowden. It gives enough info on the most popular plans that you can pick one and at least get started on it. Also, http://www.atkins.com has lots of free info - including lists of induction foods, recipes, and the rules of induction. other official sites would include http://www.eatprotein.com (protein power BB), http://www.hamptonsdiet.com, http://www.southbeachdiet.com

6. If your 3yr old is small enough, you still have a chance at getting a double stroller that you can use for at least another few months. While you can't use it for rollerblading (there are kinds made for stuff like that, but they are quite pricey), you can certainly start walking with the kids. It usually helps them nap, and will allow you to exercise. If you don't have a double stroller, you can often get one at the salvation army or goodwill store, or at the community center or house of worship. Because double strollers are bulky and awkward, people often don't keep or pass them on: they often end up donating them. So you have a good chance of getting one for free or at least very low cost. (Another place to try is a community hospital. People sometimes donate strollers, bike helmets, and car seats to hospitals.)

Well, I could go on, but I don't want it to be overwhelming. I have to tell you, once upon a time I was where you are: broke, 265 lbs, with a small child at home, no car, and no friends to speak of, no family close by. It was the hardest time of my life.

I was saved by my weekly mother's group, and the love and responsibility I felt for my daughter. I learned to find little things to enjoy, and I forced myself to get out of the house each and every day - even if it meant bundling her up and taking her a mile in the stoller to go to the local burger king that had a playspace. (That's not a good choice if you're dieting, however. Too tempting... But it was all I had at the time.)

You can get through this, but it sounds like you need some support and to build a network of friends. We'll help of course, but the internet only goes so far.

You need to pick up your phone or local paper, and find some resources in your community. I bet there are more than you imagine.

HTH,
love, andrea

[BrattyChelle]

Great advice texan

In fact, I just bought the Walk Away The Pounds DVD set....they have some really cheap auctions for it on EBay.

[Sweetmama22]

I have a double stroller. What I need is a jogging stroller. I am trying to rollerblade again. My ankles arent used to it yet. My feet really hurt. 4 years ago I used to bike and rollerblade miles a day. I am pushing myself hard because I need to be able to wear clothes I already own. I dont have much clothes left that I fit into. I have never felt like this before, so fat. I am 245 and 4 years ago I was 145. I need to loose that weight for also a personal goal of mine. I dont know anyone and my children are preventing me from going places. Today I went rollerblading in a tennis court and I barley got any rollerblading in. I was always running after my 2 kids. I am so stressed. I need a friend and a babysitter?

[LCandrea]

It's just not realistic to expect two little children to "sit still and be good" while mommy rollerblades. They just can't do that. Although you might really like the rollerblading, I hope you consider scaling back to walking with the double stroller until you find someone you can trust to watch your children. It sounds like it will be better all the way around.

It hardly seems reasonable to push yourself to be rollerblading around right now: as you say, too hard on the ankles. A jogging stroller is quite expensive, and you are unlikey to get one for free, or even at a reduced price, though you might try ebay, if you know how to do that. Again, the goodwill store or your neighborhood thrift shop "might" have one - you never know. perhaps if you call and tell them you're looking for one and if one comes in to phone you right away?

You've gotten lots of good advice in the thread, and I suggested checking into some community resources. Did you do that? What was the result?

For your sake and the sake of your little ones, you really need to try to focus on one thing and a time, and have reasonable expectations of yourself and the kids. You CAN get healthier and feel better, but weight isn't the only factor. It's more important for you to get a handle on your frustration and need for a break from the kids.

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Some resources in your community:

Lee Memorial Hospital: Thrift Shop-Pink Bazaar
(239) 939-0808
1935 Suwanee Ave
Fort Myers, FL 33901
1.7 mi W - Directions:
http://www.google.com/local?q=hospit...23395150302326

CATHOLIC CHARITIES DISTRICT OFFICE
2116 MONROE ST*
FORT MYERS, FL 33901
(239) 334-4007
(Like many organizations sponsored by religious groups, Catholic Charities provides services to people of all faiths, many times for free or reduced cost. They are usually very well regarded.)

Florida Dept. of Children and FAmilies
Take this questionnaire to see if you qualify for financial aid:
http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/ess/prof1.shtml

here is the contact info for the Dept of Children and families in Lee county where you live:
PO Box 60085
2295 Victoria Ave. (33901)
Fort Myers, FL 33906
(239) 332-2822

United Way of Lee County, florida
"If you need assistance, please contact United Way 211
for 24-hour information and referral assitance at
433-3900 "

United Way of Lee County
7275 Concourse Drive, Fort Myers, FL 33908
Phone (239) 433-2000
Fax (239) 433-5692

School Readiness/Headstart/Child Care Options
Online application:
https://spe.schoolreadiness.org/pe/spe_main.asp

"If you need immediate assistance in locating a school readiness program or to discuss other options, please phone the Child Care Resource and Referral Network administrative office at 1-888-FLChild (352-4453)*or click on the following website:*http://www.flchild.com "

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Hopefully, one of these organizations will be a good starting point for you, Amy.

[Sweetmama22]

I will try those places on Monday. You all have had good advice. I just never thought that it would come to this. When I was 140 I always said that I was fat. I should have not been so hard on myself. I wasnt fat. I will try your siggestions. Thanks everyone.

[LCandrea]

I'm glad, Amy. Keep us posted on how you do. We're rooting for you!

[BrattyChelle]

In the end...Andrea gave you great advice, focus on one thing at a time and not only on weight...but also the frustration you are feeling and the need for time away from your children.

We teach our children valuable lesson's every day....this is an opportunity to teach them perseverence and determination.

You can do this....we're here for you

[texanflowr]

How thoughtful of you Andrea to go to all that research..... People here are very fortunate to have someone as compassionate as you as the administrator. I enjoy your commentaries on articles.... I hope you will continue to do so.... Freedom of speech is one right we American's have fought and died for!

[huskersfan869]

Let us know how you are doing...and definitely get out and walk...I was around 230 wehn I started and I know I could not rollerblade...killed my feet and ankles, but now a year plus later I can and it is fun again!

[Sweetmama22]

My husband was off work today so I had the chance to go rollerblading for a little while. After I was done, we played tennis. I had a lot of fun. The kids had fun too. Today was a great day.