Cheating

Ok, so it happened. Things were going along swimmingly, you were on top of the world and it was all falling effortlessly in to place when suddenly, there it was: temptation, smacking you in the face!

Now, I know that's a mighty big promise. And you're not reading a back issue of the Weekly World News where the next article is about Batboy mating with the alien chick. Nope. This is a one-step primer for how to totally eliminate all tempation from your life. But before we get rid of it, let's define it.

I caved. I ate that brownie. I couldn't resist." These are not my confessions. Sometimes, this is what I hear people say when they're trying to lose weight. Be it brownies or fries or whatver. But one thing that does far more damage than the eating: the attitude!

I sometimes hear people talk about “cheating”…how they screwed everything up, blew up, lost it, etc. etc. And it bugs the heck out of me! As in, ok, so you eat one thing that’s high carb (or high cal or high fat or whatever your drummer plays), and you’re done? Your life is over?

People, having “fallen off the wagon” as it’s called, get stuck into certain, predictable lines of thinking. There are certain lines of thought that lead you from merrily low-carbing one day to "falling off that wagon" the next day. But while we’re at it, why do we call it that anyway? That makes no sense whatsoever.

What? What? Planned illegal eating? Unplanned illegal eating? Huh? What is this woman talking about? The Goddess is saying there is an appropriate time to eat off-plan?

Yeah. Actually, I am. Maybe you won’t agree, but hear me out and maybe you will.

You've fallen and you're not sure if you want to get up, huh? Listen. Everyone who has struggled with weight has had those days. Maybe you have been eating junk for a day (or three...or thirty), whatever. You're tired of thinking about everything you put in your mouth, and you ask yourself if maybe life wasn't so bad when your biggest food worry was not running out of pop-tarts and Oreos?

Halloween can be pretty scary for those trying to stick to a low-carb diet.

While the thought of holding out against the evils of candy corn, marshmallow pumpkins, and chocolate bars can be frightening, you don't need to tie garlic around your neck to protect yourself from over-doing it this Halloween. Instead, try these tricks:

Splurging. I could write a book about it. I'm the queen of splurge! In the past, I could always find a reason to eat something I know I shouldn't. Everything from a vacation in a far off land to catching green lights all the way home; all were fodder for celebration.

I've gotten a little better over the years since beginning my low carb woe. I'm not perfect, by any means, but I have made much progress. These days, I try to limit my splurges to truly worthy occasions rather than impulse buys at the fresh, hot bread rack.

Drugs come in all forms.

Some you smoke, others you snort, many are simple pills or injectable liquids. Mine comes in the shape of a cookie, or a doughnut; sometimes it's a muffin.

You see, I am an addict.

My drug of choice? SUGAR.

I'm not joking and I certainly don't mean to make light of others' struggles with substance abuse, but I take my sugar addiction very seriously.