“The words ‘I am…’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” -A. L. Kitselman
This is quite true, you know. You decide who you are by…well, by deciding who you are. You know?
If you want to lose weight, but you say, “I’m too lazy to exercise; I’m too weak to pass up the cake; I have no willpower; I simply can’t avoid tempation”…you’re going nowhere! Fact is, definining yourself as a failure doesn’t make you successful. It just makes you fat! Let’s get busy adjusting that attitude right now!
You create your own reality with your self-definition. The principal applies for everything, by the way.
If you want to be more organized, for goodness sakes, don’t sit around telling me what a disorganized mess you are! First of all, focus on area you ARE doing well with organizing, and then, expand it. And all the while, tell yourself you’re the epitome of organization, ok? That is what you need to do.
I can tell you this: if you tell yourself you can’t do it, you won’t. If you tell yourself you can do it, or even better, you ARE doing it, even if you don’t belief it 100% at first, you will believe it. Because it will start happening. Your words and perceptions will create your reality.
The thing that gets me is that people do this incessantly! Every time they want to make a change, they spend about half their energy explaining why they “cannot” possibly make the change, why they haven’t made the change thus far, how much of a handicap they have in trying to make the change—all for reasons “beyond their control,” and on and on and on. The focus is 99% on shortcomings, faults, problems, stumbling blocks, you-name-it, whatever stops them from completing the job. They self-define as the opposite of what they hope to be.
You know what that tells me? If that’s where your energy goes, complaining about how you “cannot” do whatever, defining yourself as someone incapable of making real changes, then deep down, you don’t really WANT to do whatever. No matter how you may protest the factuality of this point… ‘Cause if you did, you sure wouldn’t be sitting here telling me it is impossible.
You want to accomplish something? Honestly? Then you have to begin by deciding it’s a possibility, for goodness sakes! Otherwise, why are you wasting everyone’s time? You don’t have to be totally on-board that it will all go fine and dandy. At least, not yet. But you do have to see it as, at minimum, an option!
Then, you have to start focusing in your energy on what you’re doing, not why you haven’t yet. Frankly, I have no interest in discussing why you haven’t reached your goal yet. That’s boring! Nine times out of ten, we’re talking about a long list of half-assed excuses anyway. At least, that’s what I produce when I’ve climbed into the poor me mindset.
I’ll tell you a little secret: If you move to exclusively focus on what you want and actively visualize yourself as reaching your goal, see yourself already there, focusing on your strengths only, all the roadblocks magically disappear, and just as magically, avenues for your success start showing up left and right. Yes, you’ll still have to do whatever work you need to do, but what you’ll find is that doors, ideas, support, and resources to help you will begin appearing out of thin air.
You think some people are just lucky? That opportunities show up for them at exactly the right time? Their luck comes from the energy they put out, and that energy is what draws what they need to them. With self-defining as successful, without visualizing and being open to new opportunities, they’d be in the cold, man.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it, for a week. Pick your goal, end any negative talk about it completely, and replace it with language, thoughts and images of yourself currently being successful with your efforts. Make sure you acknowledge current progress and stuff you’ve already accomplished, too! You don’t have to have completely mastered your goal to be successful. Working on it, progressing is just as vital as reaching the end. Without the progress, you’d never make it to the end, right?
Success isn’t about the goal; it’s about the journey, my friend!